I knew it was gonna be a bad gig when...

PorkPieGuy said:
Here's my piece of advice next time you are asked to play a benefit:

"Oh, you want us to come play your benefit? Sure! Normally we charge $3000 a show, but we will only charge you $1500. How's that?"
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no lie, a local band I wasnt' in accidently cc'd me on an email years ago, i was friends with the guys and we are band mates now, said almost the same numbers. I was stunned!! it was some benefit gig they were asked to do and only lowed their price.
 
I'll throw in a few more....
You are the last band on a multiband gig - everyone used my kit that night. When it's our turn I get up on stage and notice the heads on my kit essentially destroyed - more dents than the surface of the moon. I guess one of the other bands had a caveman drummer who played with tree trunks.

Last one......
You show up at the bar to unload and another band is already unloading. Turns out the person at the club who booked bands had (wait for it) two calendars - one at work and one at home. Being of the paper variety they were not synced. We expressed our displeasure and went to another joint and drowned our sorrows in pizza and beer. The next Friday our manager gets a panicked call from the same venue with some sob story about how they accidentally didn't book a band that night (poor calendaring practices, again). We thanked them for the call and told them we were not available. BTW, we were open that night but did not feel it as our place to rescue them.

This is a great thread !!!
 
When the club owner emails you the week before the gig and sends a photo of the house kit, complete with cymbal stands, etc... He says "only bring cymbals, snare, clutch. BD pedal if you want."

You show up and the same club owner says "oh yeah, I meant to email you back, but we had to lend the house kit to a friend for a gig they had tonight". Driving from Philly to NYC for the gig, I scrambled. Fortunately, the lead singer of our band at the time is from Long Island and her family was coming in for the show and they quickly turned around before getting too far, threw their younger brothers starter bass drum and hardware into their car. Made it work, but man, some people just make you go "wow, you run a business??"
 
One other- had a gig in Wilmington, DE. I was playing in an Americana style group. Upright bass, fiddle, guitar/vox, drums. We did a few higher profile gigs and had the opportunity to open for a well-known artist at a venue in Wilmington. I brought my kit, drove through what was probably the worst rain ever. One of those 20 miles but 2 hours types of drives. After I unloaded my drums to the venue, I noticed lots of whispering and looking over to me. I went to the manager of the artist and said "just tell me the news". Turns out, the headliner was playing acoustic that night and only wanted an acoustic act to open. The good news is I got paid in full plus a little extra for my troubles (from the manager), and got to stick around for the show. Took a negative and shifted to a positive, which happens from time to time.
 
These are all wedding band atrocities:
The bride, upon seeing the band, screams, "This is NOT the band I hired!". She hired the band that the booking agency had play at the bridal expo she attended. Of course, that is their top wedding band; I'm playing in some pick-up group put together for that wedding. Daddy threatens not to pay until the leader shows him the contract that he signed stipulating that the band playing at the expo may not be the band that plays the wedding. What a scam.

The lead singer looks like the 3rd runner-up in an Elvis impersonator contest that only had 1 person entered in it.

Any gig that has an accordion in the band.
 
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It's 95 degrees, and you have to climb a huge flight of stairs with your drums. Then, they tell you you could have taken the elevator on the first floor. True story.

You play a Christmas party for a US Navy ship stationed in Leonardo, NJ, and the ship's captain looks down his nose at you, threatens to hold off feeding the band, then tells you the ship's bursar has your check, he's gone back to the ship, and they don't know if he's coming back. We surrounded him and said, "Tell him we want our money. Now!" The bursar came back eventually, we got our check and hightailed it off the base. True story.
 
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A J said:
I knew it was gonna be a bad gig when only me and the bass player were sober. The two guitar players/singers were blotto from the start. Worst 4 hours of my life.
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that was like every gig o my life rom age 17-35
 
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PorkPieGuy said:
Here's my piece of advice next time you are asked to play a benefit:

"Oh, you want us to come play your benefit? Sure! Normally we charge $3000 a show, but we will only charge you $1500. How's that?"
Click to expand...
OK, not sure I understand why it's funny, this what I always charge and say.... And Wehave played benefit and charged 1500$ only, for 5 musicians.
 
jansara said:
... when the nightclub owner says his wife gets to sing a few tunes.
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OMG...I played a Harley Davidson dealership and the owner's wife got up there to sing some AC/DC...which we had never played before. Sheesh.
 
Quai34 said:
OK, not sure I understand why it's funny, this what I always charge and say.... And Wehave played benefit and charged 1500$ only, for 5 musicians.
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From my experience, playing a benefit means no one gets paid. All money raised goes to whatever cause the event is supporting.
 
BobC said:
It's 95 degrees, and you have to climb a huge flight of stairs with your drums. Then, they tell you you could have taken the elevator on the first floor. True story.

You play a Christmas party for a US Navy ship stationed in Leonardo, NJ, and the ship's captain looks down his nose at you, threatens to hold off feeding the band, then tells you the ship's bursar has your check, he's gone back to the ship, and they don't know if he's coming back. We surrounded him and said, "Tell him we want our money. Now!" The bursar came back eventually, we got our check and hightailed it off the base. True story.
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Wow. And that arrogant captain is being fed, housed, and clothed with your tax money. Sometimes I have to remind military officers that I don’t work for them, and I am not any part of their chain of command.
 
A J said:
I knew it was gonna be a bad gig when only me and the bass player were sober. The two guitar players/singers were blotto from the start. Worst 4 hours of my life.
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I'm so happy that I'm in a band where no one ever gets drunk. It's a freakin' miserable time when anyone gets drunk or high and plays. No one benefits from this.
 
BobC said:
You play a Christmas party for a US Navy ship stationed in Leonardo, NJ, and the ship's captain looks down his nose at you, threatens to hold off feeding the band, then tells you the ship's bursar has your check, he's gone back to the ship, and they don't know if he's coming back. We surrounded him and said, "Tell him we want our money. Now!" The bursar came back eventually, we got our check and hightailed it off the base. True story.
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Ever since I saw this, I always figured that playing for anything having to do with the military was gonna be a bad time.

 
You know it's gonna be a bad gig when you play country music, live in the South, get booked at a venue in the South, and you walk in and absolutely NO ONE in the place has a Southern accent.

Why is this bad? Because your band members will not seen as people. You are seen as nothing more than "the help," and you will get treated as such. Every freakin' time.
 
...when I forget my stick bag.
 
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