Odd-Arne Oseberg
Platinum Member
Sometimes though love is just ignorance.
Depression and drumming
- Thread starter rmac86
- Start date
Sometimes though love is just ignorance.
danondrums
Well-known Member
If people approached cancer the same way they approached mental health every person who never had cancer would be lecturing all those with cancer on how to beat it.
dnt
Member
Yeah, there’s something about creating and being in the middle of beats and rhythms-feeling them, too- that does seem to relieve the mild to moderate depression I have. Good luck with it, friend!
I gotta write this down to believe it. I've got maniacs trying to handle me in my home town.
I'm an average player at best, so maybe the fact that I actually managed to pick up something and do it was an actual miracle to abusers and crazy people, so they try to destroy my confidence and creativity with gaslighting and abuse.
Self-defense is pointless, and I think I'm being surveilled by the local authorities. So that's it for trying to enjoy my life with self-expression.
I'm an average player at best, so maybe the fact that I actually managed to pick up something and do it was an actual miracle to abusers and crazy people, so they try to destroy my confidence and creativity with gaslighting and abuse.
Self-defense is pointless, and I think I'm being surveilled by the local authorities. So that's it for trying to enjoy my life with self-expression.
thomaseriosso
New Member
Drumming can definitely be a lifesaver – it's like therapy with a killer beat! When I'm feeling down, getting behind the kit and letting loose can be incredibly cathartic. It's like drumming out all that negativity and frustration
rhumbagirl
Senior Member
I think it's more than relieving stress. Drumming is exercise. And it's great for the hands!
MntnMan62
Silver Member
I’ve been wrestling with depression for several years. I was doing therapy which sort of helped but felt my psychologist was far too uncommunicative to help me. But before I terminated that relationship, I had begun taking an antidepressant. I took them for a year, maybe two. I don’t recall the timeframe because this was a dark time for me. I lost my job in 2017, did something similar for two years but hated it. So quit. And I got divorced after a 29 year marriage. Needless to say my ego, self confidence and mental fortitude all took a hit. I wasn’t drumming. I wasn’t riding my bikes. I wasn’t shaving regularly. Basically wasn’t doing anything. I slept…..a lot. Just going through the effort of showering and dressing was a chore. I also stopped hanging out with friends. I wasn’t even speaking to friends regularly. Self isolation became my existence. And it is extremely debilitating. Ah, I was a wreck.
I stopped the therapy, and weened myself off the meds. I didn’t feel they were helping me progress. Once I weened myself off the meds I began to feel more clarity. And I began to take control again. Very slowly. But my daily productivity went from essentially zero to doing things that I enjoyed and it became easier for me to do normal self care tasks. I also began watching my weight. I had ballooned to 225 lbs. I’ve since lost 30 lbs and am under 200 for the first time in many years. And I feel physically better because of it. Still looking to lose another 15 lbs.
I am now drumming again. I’m shaving again but only when my face starts to itch. Haven’t gotten on the bikes yet but I am doing push ups and crunches regularly. I get an endorphin push from working out which carries me through the day. I’ve also come to the realization that I have probably been depressed my entire life. I hid it well because I was highly successful at my job for 35 years. And had a family that kept me busy. But my divorce showed me just how miserable I was in my marriage. So I don’t regret the divorce. But I regret having to fork over a large pile of money to my ex who has her own business. It didn’t help that I have learned that since our divorce her income has increased dramatically. So now I’m wrestling with the realization that she benefitted from my best earning years and I essentially got the shaft. And today I learned she bought a house in a desirable area. We still have not sorted out some personal property stuff and anticipate another difficult time arguing about who gets what.
So, I’m still struggling. I intend to try and find another psychologist or counselor to begin therapy again, but I believe my skill at procrastination is a byproduct of my depression. But I’ll keep pushing.
I guess my point in responding here is twofold. First, it helps talking (or writing) about this shit. Second, I don’t believe drumming or anything else someone does can resolve their depression issues alone. We need to attack the illness on multiple fronts. Drumming and the personal enjoyment one gets from it is fantastic. So is playing with other people. And the compliments people give you are essential to rebuilding self esteem. But you also need the support of friends and family. I get that from my son who I have not discussed any of this with. In addition, guidance from an expert is essential. I may have stopped the therapy until I find someone new but I do realize that it wasn’t a complete waste and just talking out loud was somewhat helpful. And I also feel that the medication helped me rise out of the deepest part of my depression. But life is a constant ongoing struggle, even for people without depression. There are days where I take some steps back. But I find I then get past that and move forward with some effort. The effort definitely pays off. So, to the original poster, you need to come to some difficult realizations about where you are and, more importantly, what you need to do to help yourself. A great first start is therapy. Keep drumming. Don’t let insensitive and likely insecure family members get in your way. In fact, you may need to separate yourself from anyone who is contributing to your depressive symptoms, even if they are family. And you also need to put yourself out there. Slowly. But positively. As for the former and members who are talking about you, realize that there are a lot of assholes out there. By talking negatively about you, they clearly aren’t friends and never were. They are just a small group of a large number of assholes who aren’t deserving of your time or attention. Forget them. They are in the past. They don’t matter. The only thing that matters is what’s in front of you. And the beauty of it is it is in your hands. You just need a little help. Posting here can help. You have the ability to change the direction of your life. Talk to an expert. Reach out to friends who you may not have spoken to in a long time and who you know are friends. I found old friends can be invaluable in that regard. And if your therapist suggests meds, don’t automatically reject the idea. Depression, especially longer term depression, can cause chemical changes in the brain which can only be resolved with medication. It doesn’t have to be permanent. And most importantly, do things that give you pleasure. Doesn’t matter what it is. Every bit helps. There are people out there who both feel your pain, experience it or have in the past themselves and who want to help. Good luck with your journey. Keep us updated, on both your successes as well as any setbacks you experience. They will happen. But they don’t have to derail you from the goal of your own happiness. Just know that some of us are struggling with you and dealing with the same things. You are not alone.
I stopped the therapy, and weened myself off the meds. I didn’t feel they were helping me progress. Once I weened myself off the meds I began to feel more clarity. And I began to take control again. Very slowly. But my daily productivity went from essentially zero to doing things that I enjoyed and it became easier for me to do normal self care tasks. I also began watching my weight. I had ballooned to 225 lbs. I’ve since lost 30 lbs and am under 200 for the first time in many years. And I feel physically better because of it. Still looking to lose another 15 lbs.
I am now drumming again. I’m shaving again but only when my face starts to itch. Haven’t gotten on the bikes yet but I am doing push ups and crunches regularly. I get an endorphin push from working out which carries me through the day. I’ve also come to the realization that I have probably been depressed my entire life. I hid it well because I was highly successful at my job for 35 years. And had a family that kept me busy. But my divorce showed me just how miserable I was in my marriage. So I don’t regret the divorce. But I regret having to fork over a large pile of money to my ex who has her own business. It didn’t help that I have learned that since our divorce her income has increased dramatically. So now I’m wrestling with the realization that she benefitted from my best earning years and I essentially got the shaft. And today I learned she bought a house in a desirable area. We still have not sorted out some personal property stuff and anticipate another difficult time arguing about who gets what.
So, I’m still struggling. I intend to try and find another psychologist or counselor to begin therapy again, but I believe my skill at procrastination is a byproduct of my depression. But I’ll keep pushing.
I guess my point in responding here is twofold. First, it helps talking (or writing) about this shit. Second, I don’t believe drumming or anything else someone does can resolve their depression issues alone. We need to attack the illness on multiple fronts. Drumming and the personal enjoyment one gets from it is fantastic. So is playing with other people. And the compliments people give you are essential to rebuilding self esteem. But you also need the support of friends and family. I get that from my son who I have not discussed any of this with. In addition, guidance from an expert is essential. I may have stopped the therapy until I find someone new but I do realize that it wasn’t a complete waste and just talking out loud was somewhat helpful. And I also feel that the medication helped me rise out of the deepest part of my depression. But life is a constant ongoing struggle, even for people without depression. There are days where I take some steps back. But I find I then get past that and move forward with some effort. The effort definitely pays off. So, to the original poster, you need to come to some difficult realizations about where you are and, more importantly, what you need to do to help yourself. A great first start is therapy. Keep drumming. Don’t let insensitive and likely insecure family members get in your way. In fact, you may need to separate yourself from anyone who is contributing to your depressive symptoms, even if they are family. And you also need to put yourself out there. Slowly. But positively. As for the former and members who are talking about you, realize that there are a lot of assholes out there. By talking negatively about you, they clearly aren’t friends and never were. They are just a small group of a large number of assholes who aren’t deserving of your time or attention. Forget them. They are in the past. They don’t matter. The only thing that matters is what’s in front of you. And the beauty of it is it is in your hands. You just need a little help. Posting here can help. You have the ability to change the direction of your life. Talk to an expert. Reach out to friends who you may not have spoken to in a long time and who you know are friends. I found old friends can be invaluable in that regard. And if your therapist suggests meds, don’t automatically reject the idea. Depression, especially longer term depression, can cause chemical changes in the brain which can only be resolved with medication. It doesn’t have to be permanent. And most importantly, do things that give you pleasure. Doesn’t matter what it is. Every bit helps. There are people out there who both feel your pain, experience it or have in the past themselves and who want to help. Good luck with your journey. Keep us updated, on both your successes as well as any setbacks you experience. They will happen. But they don’t have to derail you from the goal of your own happiness. Just know that some of us are struggling with you and dealing with the same things. You are not alone.
MntnMan62
Silver Member
This is true. However, some people suffering from depression don’t have the tools necessary to focus on goals and move forward. Depression essentially causes a person to stop. Stop doing. Stop living. If it was as simple as you describe, then no one would be depressed. I used to believe that my issues were because I was lazy or lacking in internal strength. I was surprised to learn that real chemical changes in the brain caused by depression can be beyond “self help”. And if it is allowed to go for long periods of time, coming out of depression becomes monumental. Speaking from real life experience.
bongoman
Junior Member
“Personal responsibility” and “tough love” people can kiss my hairy a$$. If you either aren’t suffering from depression, or haven’t experienced the depths of it in the past, then all your “chin up, soldier!” advice is the braying of a donkey. Go tough-love yourself out in the garage. Worthless noisemakers.
There is a massive difference between someone who is just moping, and needs a pep talk, and someone who has a condition that literally prevents them from feeling joy or being able to handle one heavy blow after another from life.
Some of the posters in this thread DO understand. Look for the ones who wrote with compassion, not condescension. I’ve been there, for decades, and I finally pulled out of the tar pit in my late 40s. I’ll talk about my experience with anyone who asks, and I was going to here! But all the “man up” posts just got me fuming.
There is a massive difference between someone who is just moping, and needs a pep talk, and someone who has a condition that literally prevents them from feeling joy or being able to handle one heavy blow after another from life.
Some of the posters in this thread DO understand. Look for the ones who wrote with compassion, not condescension. I’ve been there, for decades, and I finally pulled out of the tar pit in my late 40s. I’ll talk about my experience with anyone who asks, and I was going to here! But all the “man up” posts just got me fuming.
Croatian Man
Active Member
Yes, I find it can help "beat the Blues" - in fact I will play some Blues to play along with! But If I'm feeling a little more than just a little Blues. I will find myself saying...."I'll skip playing drums today! I'll qualify by saying that I play at Home in retirement as a Hobby / Pleasure thing.
Croatian Man
Active Member
An excellent Post !! I'm 72, been dealing with anxiety since I can remember. Over the years, the anxiety evolved into full Blown Panic Attacks by 1987 (soon after the birth of my second child). The Demon of Anxiety has a second side to it - Depression. It's a Dual Edged Sword. A mightly sharp one at that! After the first Wave of Anxiety attacks, I sought Psyche help. The first few sessions I just sat there in silence for the 45 minutes! Then the ice was broken a bit. Some "stuff' emitted with the psychologist's sessions. But still remain to an extent. Then in the 90s under different circumstances (new job and the stresses it dished out), the demon re-appeared. It comes out of the Blue! The Mind is an Incredible aspect to Humans. I ws fortunate to meet a new Doctor - I think form a small ad in the Newspaper - at Cornell Medical Center in Westchester County, NY. He looked like a big Bear ( a plump, bearded, and very casually sitting man in a lounge chair). After he informed me that attending Group Sessions could be helpful for some, it is Not For You, after telling him what I experience. He was a Psycho-Pharmacologist with high caliber qualifications in the Industry. He announced immediately, your problems stem from Chemical Imbalances in your Brain! He started me on Prozac which was relatively new in 1994 (+/-). After a few weeks on 20MGs, he upped it to 40 MGs a day. Soon I started to feel no Panic Attacks anymore (at least not regularly). I started to Laugh Again! After about a year or so, He had me start to Wean off Prozac which you must do Slowly over weeks. Then in 1996, quite suddenly, I began to Workout at age 45! I never did before that. It transformed my Body. Yes, upon first starting warmups on a bike, I would feel Heart Palpitations - the first sign of a panic/Anxiety starting. But kept pushing Thru It!! I am fortunate to have a good wife who supported me as much as she could. But These demons must be handles by YOU! Shortly after starting the workouts, I also started my venture to discover herbal / healthful supplements. Some for relaxing the Mind, some for increasing strength and abilities. My health / Strength improvements were evident! I could see it in the Mirror.Depression, especially longer term depression, can cause chemical changes in the brain which can only be resolved with medication. It doesn’t have to be permanent. And most importantly, do things that give you pleasure. Doesn’t matter what it is. Every bit helps. There are people out there who both feel your pain, experience it or have in the past themselves and who want to help. Good luck with your journey. Keep us updated, on both your successes as well as any setbacks you experience. They will happen. But they don’t have to derail you from the goal of your own happiness. Just know that some of us are struggling with you and dealing with the same things. You are not alone.
FF to 2015. I stayed on course pretty much. But my Spinal Arthritis was getting the best of me. Workouts started to fade off. The chronic pains and spinal stiffness were increasing. In 2016, I experienced a superficial Vein Thrombosis in my right leg which was misdiagnosed as Celluitis. That began a further decline and workout setback. In 2018, my Gallbladder was removed (that's another story worth telling in another thread). By the end of the 2018, Panic was returning. I was again fortunate to encounter a smart Rheumatologist who after checking for RA and other ailments recommended an excellent Neural- Psychologist who helped me to deal with the Pains. Prozac was again prescribed for about a year to settle the high Anxiety. Then I weaned off myself. Now I practice some mediation techniques that she taught me. She was able to motivate me to again start exercising - very slowly to start. Then came COVID and its Aftermath.
Anxiety / Depression is an unfortunate residual of our existence in a fast paced world. It is a Disease ! But I have come to learn that in Fact it is Chemical Imbalances in the Brain. Read all the Books and articles you can about the Mind-Body Connection!
Alex Rudinger plays as therapy for depression/anxiety, which he admitted. You do it for yourself.
Cmdr. Ross
Platinum Member
I've 100% been here. 6 years ago, I was just done with drumming & life in general. I got great advise to NOT sell my kit. Just stack it in a corner, cover it with a blanket & wait it out.
I got help for the rest of the issues & was sure glad I took the advise about the kit. Because I was ready for it to be my therapist from then on.
I got help for the rest of the issues & was sure glad I took the advise about the kit. Because I was ready for it to be my therapist from then on.