Depression and drumming


Been playing for about 20 years now and have played with my share of great and terrible musicians. I was forced to move out of my family home, country and regular gigging circuit due to a brother that has insecurities and basically ruined my musical reputation by telling people I was an inadequate musician and a liability. Now I’ve moved home and found the exact same thing going on.

I thought I left my last band on good terms but now I find they are spreading untrue rumours about me being unfit to play and dangerous, despite the instigator of this being an extreme secret alcoholic and a father to 2 kids he doesn’t have any interest in.

Basically this isn’t helping with my severe depression, I tried drumming as a comfort and expressive tool (I need to create constantly) but feel the world doesn’t want me to do this for some reason?

Anyone out there feel the same way?
Yeah, there’s something about creating and being in the middle of beats and rhythms-feeling them, too- that does seem to relieve the mild to moderate depression I have. Good luck with it, friend!


I gotta write this down to believe it. I've got maniacs trying to handle me in my home town.

I'm an average player at best, so maybe the fact that I actually managed to pick up something and do it was an actual miracle to abusers and crazy people, so they try to destroy my confidence and creativity with gaslighting and abuse.

Self-defense is pointless, and I think I'm being surveilled by the local authorities. So that's it for trying to enjoy my life with self-expression.