Some great advice here, especially:
Learn to read music, learn rhythm.
If you were my student I would teach you basic groove and some basic rudiments, simple fills that sound good, etc
The more time you spend on the basics, the more quickly you'll progress later. I think that's true for everyone, but more true for late learners. I'd suggest learning Lesson One, so to speak, of multiple topics first, before moving on to more advanced studies. Really master the "white belt" stuff and get all the various parts working together before moving on.
May I add my 10 cents on "the beginners' road map":
1. Learn to read drum notation (it's not that hard, and will open up all the world of learning for you).
2. Learn a basic vocabulary of simple beats (maybe using a book to guide you - for example Alfred's Beginner Method Book 1 is a nice starter book)
3. Then practice slightly more varied/complex beats (Alfred's book has nice gentle progressions from page to page that will develop this ability).
4. Each time you practice something new, spend some time working on it for at least 5-10 practice sessions. At the start it will feel very mechanical or even impossible. After 3-4 sessions you will start to play things that you couldn't play before. After 7-10 sessions it starts to feel really natural.
5. Don't hold the sticks too tight. If you notice tension in your limbs when you play, usually it will release naturally.
6. If you can manage it, practice with a metronome. After you get a beat sounding good at one tempo, try it 10-20 BPM faster/slower. Not always as easy as it sounds, but it will build your ability to groove AND stay in time.
7. Stick with it. What you get out depends on what you put in. You will be surprised how much progress you will make in 6 months if you can practice 4-6 times a week even for 15-30 minutes.
8. Let us know how you get on! Any problem is easier to solve when you have a support group to discuss it with
and you will find a lot of folks here who have a lot of experience to offer and like helping!
Good luck!