When you say playing for almost 20 years, do you mean almost 20 years ago you started? Then took, say 10 years off, and began again keeping the clock running? Like me, I've been playing for about 36 years, but there were times in the middle where I didn't play, like college. Then 2 years after college, when I began my carreer. So, i gues I haven't reall yplayed for 36 years..... Is this the same for you? I think maybe you started playing, horsed around, then the clock kept ticking, and 20 years later, your amazed you can't "play to music". which, by the way, is an interesting statement. What CAN you play to, if not music? I'm assuming you get behind your drums, and wail away like Keith Moon. ( uh-oh, i'm not going there in this thread....)
Anyway, yes, get a teacher, trust me, it works. Youtube is great for tips and tricks and such, but a private teacher sitting next to you is the best way to learn.
sorry if I sounded harsh, no harsh words were meant.