Bass player took a separate gig, said we shouldn't play without him.

The appropriate response from a drummer is...

  • Find additional projects yourself that are less constraining or as dependent on the other players.

    Votes: 9 12.5%
  • Just accept it.

    Votes: 5 6.9%
  • Request a draft of written agreements within the band.

    Votes: 2 2.8%
  • Punt.

    Votes: 4 5.6%
  • Play without him.

    Votes: 65 90.3%

  • Total voters
    72
Well,
it was an uneventful show last night. No drama. Everyone had personal playing hickups, but nobody acted inappropriately. The thin crowd was appreciative, the staff enjoyed what we did and tips totaled $168. Considering the crowd, that was pretty good.
There's 1 confirmed gig remaining. Another was previously tentatively proposed as it's a recurring monthly scheduling and she spoke about a Christmas party and NYE potential event.
 
The most toxic personality I ever worked with was/is one of the worst people I have ever encountered, and the second worst, was a guy I worked with recently. I walked out last year after he pulled some sneaky sh** behind my back.

Toxic #1 called me by accident several years ago. When he realized he had me on the line, he said, "I guess you don't want to talk to me?" He was right.

Toxic #2 was just a total terror to deal with in a band situation. A gregarious individual, he is very sociable and fun to be around, but in a band, he became Toxic Sarcastic Alpha Male.
 
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Tonight was another unexpected turn. We had quite a bit of fun and this was the only time we used the same guitar player for a 2nd show. He played last night, but he didn't enjoy himself. Tonight he pretty much killed it too. Not perfect on every song but damn good at times. He got lots of crowd response, which was inspiring. I'm really rethinking this walk away.
I got offered another solo and took this one too. Bass guy turned last night and tonight down. He confided something about his life the past 2 weeks. Interesting.
 
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The band didn't die yet. The chaos didn't either, lol. We were scheduled for 2 gigs in a week. Guess what? No permanent guitar player again. Our permanent one decided an emergency eye problem didn't need mentioning for a month. At least not until a few days before slated gigs.

The singer had been developing a younger band before this one to compete in a battle of the bands thing. However she said there was revolution and lack of progress in it and asked if we would take over the competition spot last minute.
Short notice, but we all agreed to.

We decided songs and would work on them alone because of limited availability for the whole band on a short fuse.
She held over 1 guitar player from the young band to be a 2nd for us. He did the 1st practice. The other guitarist couldn't make it. The holdover quit the next day, probably because we're older.
So on a Monday there was our 1st rehearsal with the perm guitarist for competition which was 3 days away on the Thursday.
The perm guitar player on Sunday mentioned, in text confirming the rehearsal date, that his retina might be detached. I asked how long. "About a month." My reply, Dude that's an emergency or you permanently lose vision." We had that Monday practice the next day. He complained that lights in the room were driving him crazy.
Tues he finally agreed to a morning appointment which confirmed detachment and had an emergency surgery slated for Weds, saying he can't play the competition in 2 days nor the Saturday.

Of course he can't play, it's a friggin emergency! But an emergency he sat on for a month without mention.
God speed for a recovery, but he had this issue for a month without mentioning it until a couple of days prior to competing.

Tues we contacted 1 of the guitarists we used once on Halloween who agreed to fill in. Ok, here's 50 minutes of songs we're playing. Be ready for a short practice Weds after work so we can compete that Thurs.

Oh, the singer still had the flu on Tuesday and her voice is still whacked Thurs. What could happen? She brought in an emergency helper singer (with no practice) we all played a sloppy show and still advanced. We won the judges vote and were winning the popular vote, but 1 of the competing bands saw they were overtaken and bought enough of their own votes to advance too. Popular vote was decided by a quantity of $5 votes purchased, no limit.
They're a good band. They're polished and have years of shows behind them. They have originals too, which was a factor. So with their extra bought votes, they won popular vote. We won the judge's, so we both get to advance. That band's drummer let both other competing bands use his kit, which was extra nice of him. It's a nice kit and he's a gentleman. They all are.

We threw together a rough semblance of what we can do with the hope of getting booked at several of the owner's venues. We did better than we expected. The 17 year old guitarist shouldn't have quit. This woulda been good for his resume and experience.
 
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Crowd response went well last night with the fill in. The fill in now has done 3 gigs while the perm guitarist has done 2. I expect the leader to try to flip the roles between the 2.

The owner or co-owner/operator was ecstatic. After the 3rd song he came up and told her, "Excellent", about the songs and energy. We've done a Blues thing a few times on Saturday that can do ok, but isn't as well received.

Later he got on 'stage', if it can be called that, and addressed the crowd thanking them for coming and interacting with us. He never complains about volume to us, but usually does with other bands. We get loud at times.

The leader's voice is still whacked but she performed energetically.

The bass player still attempted to stop many songs on his own without communication from the leader or guitar player. He was just indicating to me to stop. I fell for it once late because of no line of sight with the other two and it appeared that they told him to prompt me. But I had to ignore him at least 5 times prior to that. We had to stretch songs because she couldn't sing several.
 
Drama files entry #14: the 2 gig perm guitarist is out, apparently. The 3 gig fill-in guy is now 1st choice which ticked off the other guy, maybe? We don't really know. Bass guy and I are disappointed that he's waving off the band all together, but at the same time he didn't take care to prevent us from doing the emergency fill-in routine A-EFFING-GAIN.
Still, with all the warts I wish he coulda hung on for a month or 2, even with challenges. He didn't see the big picture. He complained that normally there are months of rehearsal before gigging.

No, dude. That was 30 years ego's approach. Today you prepare on your own, get together for 2-3 rehearsals, go work on your notes at home for the gig that week where you further polish the show.
 
...there was a difference between practice and rehearsals. You practice on your own. When band gets together you are rehearsing for the show. Come prepared to rehearsals by practicing your parts at home.
This should be the first by-law for any band, right before the second by-law "show up on time".
 
He complained that normally there are months of rehearsal before gigging.

No, dude. That was 30 years ego's approach. Today you prepare on your own, get together for 2-3 rehearsals, go work on your notes at home for the gig that week where you further polish the show.
Agreed! Months of rehearsals is when you’re in high school having fun with your friends (or an original band when you are writing material).

Also, I’ve found that the people pushing for more rehearsals are often the same people that don’t practice on their own!

Sounds like an inconvenience for the time being, but doing yourself a favor in the long run.
 
This should be the first by-law for any band, right before the second by-law "show up on time".

True for jazz bands. Jazz cats in local small bands typically don't rehearse together much at all - sometimes none. They get the keys for tunes, print their chord arts on IRealPro, and show up for gig. THat's been my experience. Our jazz combo rehearses and practices a bit more together because we have a singer and that requires more work. But our blues band likes to play together we have fun so we have a standing weekly Wednesday practice/ rehearsal.
 
True for jazz bands. Jazz cats in local small bands typically don't rehearse together much at all - sometimes none. They get the keys for tunes, print their chord arts on IRealPro, and show up for gig. THat's been my experience. Our jazz combo rehearses and practices a bit more together because we have a singer and that requires more work. But our blues band likes to play together we have fun so we have a standing weekly Wednesday practice/ rehearsal.
And bands that play a lot on stage, don't need to rehearse as the frequent stage playing IS the rehearsal. They get tight through just playing together often & that's a great time to be had.
 
And bands that play a lot on stage, don't need to rehearse as the frequent stage playing IS the rehearsal. They get tight through just playing together often & that's a great time to be had.
Not to mention, a pro drummer is poor and likely doesn't have a place to practice.
 
Also, I’ve found that the people pushing for more rehearsals are often the same people that don’t practice on their own!
I'm in it for the fun... well as long as the other musicians are fun to play with (meaning competent) as well. If I needed to play for money, yeah I think I'd prepare beforehand. Even in a fun band, I like to transcribe or review charts.
 
Not to mention, a pro drummer is poor and likely doesn't have a place to practice.

I'm income poor, but have a couple of places to practice. Although I rarely let anyone into my houses.
 
I'm income poor, but have a couple of places to practice. Although I rarely let anyone into my houses.
But are you a pro drummer? (I'm asking because I think you favor Gavin Harrison!! LOL At least from your avatar)
 
Our leader made a move tonight asking if we could talk about someone in the band drinking and smoking too much for the performance. I don't really smoke and neither does the new guitar player.

Well, it'd be ok if that person was killing it on his instrument. But, man. Ya gotta be able to take care of yer part, guy.
That's the first task.


But are you a pro drummer? (I'm asking because I think you favor Gavin Harrison!! LOL At least from your avatar)

I'm less pro now than the previous couple of years. It's my main income still.
Gavin is still a young capable man with even more yet to accomplish. I'm getting old now.
 
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I'm less pro now than the previous couple of years. It's my main income still.
Gavin is still a young capable man with even more yet to accomplish. I'm getting old now.
Aren't we all LOL.

Anyway, I was speaking generally about the drumming population - your case is obviously an outlier, a welcome outlier!
 
Do the gig and lie to him about it. Then do it again. Keep doing it until he suspects something is up, and gaslight him about it. Tell him it's another band that he's not in. Tell him nothing is wrong, and it's all cool. Then give him the wrong date for a gig, and afterward tell him it's his fault for not writing it down correctly. You'll need to speak to him verbally for the last one to work, so maybe have a marathon rehearsal first because you're rusty for having not played together for so long.
 
An interesting twist. The leader can't do a gig date but asked if we wanted it as a trio. Bass player immediately suggested an alternate singer that we know because she knows most of the music.
So I guess we're now alright to play without him if he's booked elsewhere too?

Gig last night was just ok. Fill in guy for guitar, which means diff music, which wasn't great. Monkees songs, Ticket To Ride. Piano Man by B Joel. These aren't dance songs. The PA sucked the entire first set.

Bass player bitched to me about the music all night, saying never again. But he said that last time too when he stomped off stage mid-song. This time he politely sat down for Eternal Flame. Gonna have to suggest that he not drag down my fun. I enjoy playing live and stretching experience level. Would rather have played up tempo music for that venue, but it was a positive for me.

The final set (we play 2 long sets) the drunk girls came in and made the night. Boogie Fever went in to orbit.
 
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