Selling Stuff To Friends

[A J]

Any of you encounter weirdness when selling or buying between friends or family?

I've bought, sold, traded, and gave away things to friends and family for many years. Never had a problem. Just recently, I encountered an awkward situation involving selling a boat motor to a friend. Things got so weird, I politely told him I decided not to sell it after all.

The motor was easily worth $3,000. I quoted him $1,500. Almost immediately, he inquired about "working off" the price with some construction projects on my property at $30 per hour for 20-30 hours; a $600-$900 cost. Next, he mentioned having to take out a home equity loan to be able to afford the $1,500 initial price. It bothered me greatly that a friend was ready to borrow against his home in order o fund what is essentially a luxury item.

I discussed things with my wife and neither of us were comfortable going forward.

 

[WhereIsTheOne?!]

Never sell anything of significant value to family and friends, as a general rule. If it goes wrong, you'll ruin a friendship and if it doesn't work properly you'll never hear the end of it even if you sold it to them two years ago.

 

[doggyd69b]

Any of you encounter weirdness when selling or buying between friends or family?

I've bought, sold, traded, and gave away things to friends and family for many years. Never had a problem. Just recently, I encountered an awkward situation involving selling a boat motor to a friend. Things got so weird, I politely told him I decided not to sell it after all.

The motor was easily worth $3,000. I quoted him $1,500. Almost immediately, he inquired about "working off" the price with some construction projects on my property at $30 per hour for 20-30 hours; a $600-$900 cost. Next, he mentioned having to take out a home equity loan to be able to afford the $1,500 initial price. It bothered me greatly that a friend was ready to borrow against his home in order o fund what is essentially a luxury item.

I discussed things with my wife and neither of us were comfortable going forward.

You were already reducing the price by 50%, how dare he ask for an even higher reduction? You could have shown him some examples of similar engines (used about the same as yours) and how much those were going for. Also Never take anything but cash for stuff like that. When someone says (I will do this and that), they might start the first project and complete it just fine, but very soon after that, they will start making excuses as to why they can't continue, in the meantime, you are without your goods and without payment.
I don't care if it was my own mother, if you are selling something at 50% off, demand cash specially when it is a luxury item. If the tries to guilt you by telling you his finances are not the greatest so you "have" to help him, sorry bud, but you work hard for what you have and can't just give it away. Falling for that is a sure way to end a friendship fast.
I don't know if you look like you have money or not (still not excuse to ask you to basically provide an 80% discount). Having a few nice things doesn't give anybody the right to demand free stuff from you.

I was at my local Lowes yesterday, I went after work so I was in uniform.
This guy thanked me for my service, then proceeded to ask me for money.
When I told him that I don't carry cash, he asked if I could withdraw money with my card!.
At that point I wanted to cuss him out, but I restrained myself and told him that the card I was using belonged to my unit. (white lie).
The nerve!.
So I must look like I have money....

 

[bongoman]

Friends/family and large money deals do not mix unless absolutely necessary. I know someone will say they did it with no problem, but I have seen way way too many instances where one side let their need (or greed) affect their behavior and it screwed up both the deal and the relationship.

 

[Hollywood Jim]

I learned many years ago to never sell anything to friends and relatives. When I was a young man I sold my car to my sister. For several years I had to hear about every little issue and problem that she had with that car.

.

 

[rungeflash]

We might not be able to choose family….but we sure as heck can pick friends

Time to find a new friend

 

[Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX]

I bought my first car from my grandparents for $75 back in 83 when I was 14. It was a junker that had been in their garage forever. My uncle and I did all the work to get it up and running for 2 years - which probably cost a little around $400 over a period of time, but that was all money I made doing "teenager" jobs. My parents only paid for insurance.

I have bought musical gear off of friends, but not anythign over $1000. Things like effect pedals, or cases, or stuff like that.

I just got done bartering for a cocktail drum from my best friend for giving his son drum lessons. I love bartering. I bartered drum lessons for retirement financial planning this summer. Getting a new storm door and threshold on the house for bartered drum lessons next week

 

[equipmentdork]

Any of you encounter weirdness when selling or buying between friends or family?

I've bought, sold, traded, and gave away things to friends and family for many years. Never had a problem. Just recently, I encountered an awkward situation involving selling a boat motor to a friend. Things got so weird, I politely told him I decided not to sell it after all.

The motor was easily worth $3,000. I quoted him $1,500. Almost immediately, he inquired about "working off" the price with some construction projects on my property at $30 per hour for 20-30 hours; a $600-$900 cost. Next, he mentioned having to take out a home equity loan to be able to afford the $1,500 initial price. It bothered me greatly that a friend was ready to borrow against his home in order o fund what is essentially a luxury item.

I discussed things with my wife and neither of us were comfortable going forward.

Yeah, that was the right move.

I've always been leery of selling something to a friend, though I have.

I bought a Honda Accord in 2012 around the same time my friend did. His transmission died prematurely, mine was still going 3 weeks ago when I sold it with 251,000 miles. Luck is strange like that. Imagine if I had sold him that car!


Dan

 

[PorkPieGuy]

I don't have a problem selling things to friends or family. A good friend of mine and I do lots of trading and buying and selling all of the time. We give each other trial periods to try things out to see if we like it or not. After a while, we either bring each other money or the item back. No harm, no foul. With that said, we don't do much dealing with anything electronic. It's mainly drums, heads, and other music gear.

 

[Jeremy Bender]

I don't do any financial or business transactions with friends or family. Some are still close and talk to me because of this policy some don't.


YMMV

 

[A J]

You were already reducing the price by 50%, how dare he ask for an even higher reduction? You could have shown him some examples of similar engines (used about the same as yours) and how much those were going for. Also Never take anything but cash for stuff like that. When someone says (I will do this and that), they might start the first project and complete it just fine, but very soon after that, they will start making excuses as to why they can't continue, in the meantime, you are without your goods and without payment.
I don't care if it was my own mother, if you are selling something at 50% off, demand cash specially when it is a luxury item. If the tries to guilt you by telling you his finances are not the greatest so you "have" to help him, sorry bud, but you work hard for what you have and can't just give it away. Falling for that is a sure way to end a friendship fast.
I don't know if you look like you have money or not (still not excuse to ask you to basically provide an 80% discount). Having a few nice things doesn't give anybody the right to demand free stuff from you.

I was at my local Lowes yesterday, I went after work so I was in uniform.
This guy thanked me for my service, then proceeded to ask me for money.
When I told him that I don't carry cash, he asked if I could withdraw money with my card!.
At that point I wanted to cuss him out, but I restrained myself and told him that the card I was using belonged to my unit. (white lie).
The nerve!.
So I must look like I have money....

Excellent points. You are wise beyond your years.

I'm so glad I ended this deal before it went too far. I was stupid to even let it get as far as it did. Lesson learned. So many things could have gone wrong. In the end, I would have essentially GIVEN away $3,000. Having the guy try to work off the money never would have worked out. Like you mentioned, a thousand things could have gone wrong with that deal: absenteeism, damage, shoddy workmanship, etc... I spent my whole life in leadership positions and am now retired. I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to supervise other people; especially a friend. Nothing good can come out of that relationship.

I have never asked a friend for money... ever. And this is exactly what this deal felt like. I'm not a lending institution, a charitable organization or a social welfare agency. I don't look or act like I have money... but I do. I got to where I am though hard work, sacrifice and doing things others wouldn't.
I have zero guilt; none at all. My wife and I still live frugally.

 

[A J]

I don't have a problem selling things to friends or family. A good friend of mine and I do lots of trading and buying and selling all of the time. We give each other trial periods to try things out to see if we like it or not. After a while, we either bring each other money or the item back. No harm, no foul. With that said, we don't do much dealing with anything electronic. It's mainly drums, heads, and other music gear.

That's pretty much the way my brother and I do it. In the past, we've traded mostly. Oftentimes, we just GIVE each other whatever they like.

 

[A J]

Yeah, that was the right move.

I've always been leery of selling something to a friend, though I have.

I bought a Honda Accord in 2012 around the same time my friend did. His transmission died prematurely, mine was still going 3 weeks ago when I sold it with 251,000 miles. Luck is strange like that. Imagine if I had sold him that car!


Dan

I had an ugly situation that unfolded about 10 years ago. I had a 16' fishing boat I never used. I listed it on Craigslist cheap. Lots of people called. One guy bought it immediately. He drove off very happy. I took a loss, but was glad to be rid of it.

A couple weeks later he calls up complaining that the boat motor seized up and asked if he could return it to me for a full refund. After some thought, I refused his offer for many reasons which aren't pertinent to this discussion. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't sell it to a friend because one or both of us wouldn't be friends any more.

 

[equipmentdork]

I had an ugly situation that unfolded about 10 years ago. I had a 16' fishing boat I never used. I listed it on Craigslist cheap. Lots of people called. One guy bought it immediately. He drove off very happy. I took a loss, but was glad to be rid of it.

A couple weeks later he calls up complaining that the boat motor seized up and asked if he could return it to me for a full refund. After some thought, I refused his offer for many reasons which aren't pertinent to this discussion. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't sell it to a friend because one or both of us wouldn't be friends any more.

Best reason I can think of is: "As is. All sales final. No warranty is express or implied."


Dan

 

[Jeremy Crockett]

Any of you encounter weirdness when selling or buying between friends or family?

I've bought, sold, traded, and gave away things to friends and family for many years. Never had a problem. Just recently, I encountered an awkward situation involving selling a boat motor to a friend. Things got so weird, I politely told him I decided not to sell it after all.

The motor was easily worth $3,000. I quoted him $1,500. Almost immediately, he inquired about "working off" the price with some construction projects on my property at $30 per hour for 20-30 hours; a $600-$900 cost. Next, he mentioned having to take out a home equity loan to be able to afford the $1,500 initial price. It bothered me greatly that a friend was ready to borrow against his home in order o fund what is essentially a luxury item.

I discussed things with my wife and neither of us were comfortable going forward.

Sounds to me like you did the wisest thing given the situation.

 

[A J]

Sounds to me like you did the wisest thing given the situation.

Thanks. The entire situation was quickly becoming very weird. When I felt it getting weird I immediately backed out... blaming my wife, of course!

My relationship with this friend has changed. It has gone from best buddies to strictly business in just a few days. Too bad.