What Are You Doing While Riding Out This Period Of Social Isolation?

What am I doing?

Well, things have changed.

My girlfriend broke up with me........so I'm kinda trying to assimilate that.

I was trying to keep a distance from her as being in ICU does ultimately increase my exposure to potential COVID-19 patients.

I was protecting her and her family......but she didn't see it that way.

So life goes on, working on my basic rudiments, keeping up with my exercise and ongoing online professional development studies.

Is anyone else having relationship issues during this COVID-19 crisis?

My drums are still with me though.......I THINK!! ?

Unless my Remo Acousticon kit has found a little bop kit to run off with ??
 
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Benthedrummer said:
What am I doing?

Well, things have changed.

My girlfriend broke up with me........so I'm kinda trying to assimilate that.

I was trying to keep a distance from her as being in ICU does ultimately increase my exposure to potential COVID-19 patients.

I was protecting her and her family......but she didn't see it that way.

So life goes on, working on my basic rudiments, keeping up with my exercise and ongoing online professional development studies.

Is anyone else having relationship issues during this COVID-19 crisis?

My drums are still with me though.......I THINK!! ?

Unless my Remo Acousticon kit has found a little bop kit to run off with ??
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Dont sweat it Ben. She knows you are a nurse, she knows nurses work around sick people, and I bet she knows this virus is dangerous. If she isn't down to sharing the life and concerns of someone in healthcare, better to find out now. I know I couldn't do it. I'm a hypochondriac, I'd be terrified about catching everything each time you came home. Some folks just can't handle what others do.

Chin up, it's her deal not yours. She made the decision, she has to live with it. Perhaps this will be eye opening and give her a better appreciation of what you mean to her. Or maybe you will meet some hot blonde nymphomaniac with a male nurse fetish. The world isn't over, it's just a little different than it was yesterday.
 
Jeremy Bender said:
I attempt to be productive, until something like this comes along...

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I would think drummers could resist the temptation but I sure as hell did it before I even realized it. Except drummers are fluid so to resist the brain fart I started my 6 at the bottom circle to top (so clockwise)(-rather than top to bottom counter. .I cheated. Now I'll be doing this till I get it. I often get kids to try thins-Take your arms and circumduct them so go in arm circles going same direction- chasing each other-now move hands further apart and make each go opposite (instead of chase they meet at top and bottom). Drives kids crazy trying to do it. Do the hustle LOL.
 
I've been building out my little practice kit into a full second kit, only this is a 1up+1down, unlike the 2 up+1 down of my big kit.

It's fun. :)
 
Jeremy Bender said:
I attempt to be productive, until something like this comes along...

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Jeremy I love these things and I switched direction too.

This is one of the reasons I drum, these physical conundrums

It makes me lol when I know perfectly well what I want to do...but my body has other plans.

And it prevails! Well it may have won the battle...but it's not going to win the war.

I'm at war with myself!
 
cbphoto said:
I live where 86% humidity is a dry day, and the temp can change up to 40° in a day.

In the bottom pic, there’s two white-ish wall units near the top of the OSB board/wall. Those are heat pump blowers that cool or heat or dehumidify. There’s a third off camera. The heat pump unit is outside. The system is very quiet. There’s also an infra-red heater along the top of the ceiling. It is not quiet. The entire shed is insulated, but only with 3” thick fiberglass.

My hope is that the office will be tight enough to stay dry. Then I can store cameras & lenses in there. Humidity is bad for optical equipment.

“Sanity shelter” is the perfect description. ?
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man, that humidity level would suck! I am glad that we are only humid for 3 months out of the year

and I hate the term "man cave", so sanity shelter makes more sense to me. I actually use play room as well. Man cave makes me think of a dark, lonely insignificant place...like a place where you are banished
 
Benthedrummer said:
What am I doing?

Well, things have changed.

My girlfriend broke up with me........so I'm kinda trying to assimilate that.

I was trying to keep a distance from her as being in ICU does ultimately increase my exposure to potential COVID-19 patients.

I was protecting her and her family......but she didn't see it that way.

So life goes on, working on my basic rudiments, keeping up with my exercise and ongoing online professional development studies.

Is anyone else having relationship issues during this COVID-19 crisis?

My drums are still with me though.......I THINK!! ?

Unless my Remo Acousticon kit has found a little bop kit to run off with ??
Click to expand...

MrInsanePolack said:
Dont sweat it Ben. She knows you are a nurse, she knows nurses work around sick people, and I bet she knows this virus is dangerous. If she isn't down to sharing the life and concerns of someone in healthcare, better to find out now. I know I couldn't do it. I'm a hypochondriac, I'd be terrified about catching everything each time you came home. Some folks just can't handle what others do.

Chin up, it's her deal not yours. She made the decision, she has to live with it. Perhaps this will be eye opening and give her a better appreciation of what you mean to her. Or maybe you will meet some hot blonde nymphomaniac with a male nurse fetish. The world isn't over, it's just a little different than it was yesterday.
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yeah man, that sux...and it is too bad that things couldn't work out, but I agree w/ MrIP above in that it is better to find out now, rather than 4 years into a marriage etc...don't know how long you were together, but things will iron out as time goes on....

my wife is a pharm tech at our Childrens hosp here in town, and is directly in contact with Covid Kids every day. 3 weeks ago, she came home and said:"we need to sleep in separate rooms for the time being". Well, we have no other rooms with beds, and our couch sux, so I set up the tent and have been sleeping out there. I LOVE sleeping outdoors, (and the weather has been PERFECT sleeping weather: 30's-40's at night) so that doesn't bother me, but I feel like I am "ignoring" her now, and feel a little guilty, or like she resents me for being out there...but it was her idea, and in reality, I know she is not.

I think proactive communication will help anyone who does feel like things are "weird" during these times...
 
Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX said:
yeah man, that sux...and it is too bad that things couldn't work out, but I agree w/ MrIP above in that it is better to find out now, rather than 4 years into a marriage etc...don't know how long you were together, but things will iron out as time goes on....

my wife is a pharm tech at our Childrens hosp here in town, and is directly in contact with Covid Kids every day. 3 weeks ago, she came home and said:"we need to sleep in separate rooms for the time being". Well, we have no other rooms with beds, and our couch sux, so I set up the tent and have been sleeping out there. I LOVE sleeping outdoors, (and the weather has been PERFECT sleeping weather: 30's-40's at night) so that doesn't bother me, but I feel like I am "ignoring" her now, and feel a little guilty, or like she resents me for being out there...but it was her idea, and in reality, I know she is not.

I think proactive communication will help anyone who does feel like things are "weird" during these times...
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I think that is actually a perfect compromise.

Allison and I were together for 6 months.

Just leave her little notes in the kitchen saying "goodnight" and "I love you" if you keep missing her in the house.

I neglected to do that sort of thing for her as I was preoccupied with getting prepped for the whole COVID-19 thing.

Silly, silly thing for me to do.
 
Benthedrummer said:
I think that is actually a perfect compromise.

Allison and I were together for 6 months.

Just leave her little notes in the kitchen saying "goodnight" and "I love you" if you keep missing her in the house.

I neglected to do that sort of thing for her as I was preoccupied with getting prepped for the whole COVID-19 thing.

Silly, silly thing for me to do.
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well...sort of. You HAD to focus on prepping and all of that, and if she really was into you, and really was secure, she wouldn't need all of that. She needed to think about your needs in that moment, not just hers...and that was a silly, silly thing for her to do. That might sound selfish to some, but I think it is the truth...sometimes, the "fantasy" of the lovey-dovey stuff has to take a back seat to the reality of what is going on.

I think I am in the minority when I say that relationships HAVE to be 50/50, and my wife and I actually live that. I don't believe in "happy wife-happy life"...and my wife doesn't' either. I have found out, and firmly believe that if the Self is not happy, there is NO WAY for the union to be happy. If you are not happy with, and for yourself, then there is dishonesty, and imbalance, in the relationship. And then there will be "faking it"...and that never works.

So, take it for what it is worth, but this was not all on you...
 
Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX said:
and I hate the term "man cave", so sanity shelter makes more sense to me. I actually use play room as well. Man cave makes me think of a dark, lonely insignificant place...like a place where you are banished
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Same here. Man cave to me insinuates a place where brainless Neanderthals go to start fires and smash rocks. I dont do that. I have a music room.

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX said:
I think I am in the minority when I say that relationships HAVE to be 50/50, and my wife and I actually live that. I don't believe in "happy wife-happy life"...and my wife doesn't' either. I have found out, and firmly believe that if the Self is not happy, there is NO WAY for the union to be happy. If you are not happy with, and for yourself, then there is dishonesty, and imbalance, in the relationship. And then there will be "faking it"...and that never works.
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My wife and I do this also. We are a team, 50/50. Her successes/failures are mine also, and mine hers. It isn't her or me, just us. It works well.
 
MrInsanePolack said:
Same here. Man cave to me insinuates a place where brainless Neanderthals go to start fires and smash rocks. I dont do that. I have a music room.
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totally!! I start fires and smash rocks on my mountain bike...outside!!! Not in my play room.


MrInsanePolack said:
My wife and I do this also. We are a team, 50/50. Her successes/failures are mine also, and mine hers. It isn't her or me, just us. It works well.
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yep, and there is compromise after communication, and flexibility, but never "giving in"
 
MrInsanePolack said:
Same here. Man cave to me insinuates a place where brainless Neanderthals go to start fires and smash rocks. I dont do that. I have a music room.



My wife and I do this also. We are a team, 50/50. Her successes/failures are mine also, and mine hers. It isn't her or me, just us. It works well.
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Well..... THAT'S what I'm gonna be doing during this isolation.

Figuring out how the hell I make sure I don't make the same mistake again.

50/50 is the answer.

70/30 was the ratio in my relationship.....in my favour.

I've got some growing up to do me thinks.
 
Benthedrummer said:
Well..... THAT'S what I'm gonna be doing during this isolation.

Figuring out how the hell I make sure I don't make the same mistake again.

50/50 is the answer.

70/30 was the ratio in my relationship.....in my favour.

I've got some growing up to do me thinks.
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yep...we all do!! I am 50, and still have lots to learn!
 
Benthedrummer said:
Well..... THAT'S what I'm gonna be doing during this isolation.

Figuring out how the hell I make sure I don't make the same mistake again.

50/50 is the answer.

70/30 was the ratio in my relationship.....in my favour.

I've got some growing up to do me thinks.
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Do you love her?
Sounds to me like you recognise where you went wrong and that’s something.
Its a crazy time for everyone, go see her and talk.
Life is too short, I’ve learnt that the hard way. Do your best to get that figure back to 50/50.
No harm in trying, is there?
 
I’m catching up on movies I haven’t seen in a long while, or I’ve been meaning to watch. My wife and I decked out our theatre room last Christmas as a gift to each other and man.... it’s paying dividends now.
Super comfy and the sound system was well worth the astronomical price we paid for it.
It’s been a place of solace when I want to get away from reality.
 
AndersonBaxter said:
Do you love her?
Sounds to me like you recognise where you went wrong and that’s something.
Its a crazy time for everyone, go see her and talk.
Life is too short, I’ve learnt that the hard way. Do your best to get that figure back to 50/50.
No harm in trying, is there?
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G'day Anderson.......mate, TBH....no, I don't think I do love her.
 
Benthedrummer said:
G'day Anderson.......mate, TBH....no, I don't think I do love her.
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Howdy Ben, that sure is a shame if you don’t love her. I kinda got the sense you wanted to try and sort it out.
I went through something similar with my wife, a stressful situation that caused us to part briefly, I’ll keep my advice short and sweet then. Don’t be too hasty to give up and be understanding and listen to her.
The not loving her thing has thrown me for a loop. Best to cut contact and move on, you’ll find someone else.
 
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