A tale of pride, patience, redemption...and linear triplets

[Larry]

OK so it started out probably somewhere around late 2010. My wife and I were attending a gig locally. We are friends with the band, and we support them when we can.

Modesty alert, I'm dropping all modesty here for this story. I have to be honest, I don't really like what the drummer does most of the time. His time is wonky, he SLAMS everything way too hard, every song no matter which genre gets a rock treatment, and I think he plays like a caveman.

I'd like to think I am on a completely different level than this guy, going by musical choices alone. I'm being totally honest here, and all this is only in my own mind. I would never say this to anyone out loud. (except you guys) Now if a drummer can clearly wipe the floor with me, I am the first one to acknowledge it, and usually become a big fan of that person.

OTOH, if I feel if I am a better drummer than someone, well TBH I do have those feelings sometimes. And this is the way I feel about this guy.

OK so we're watching the show, and the drummer gets a spotlight thing where he comes out front and sings, then goes and does a drum solo thing. During his solo he whips out some linear triplets, and he really did them well. So my wife comments: Wow that really sounded good. He might be better than you!

(Here's the pride part)

Me: (accusingly, negatively)...Thanks a lot!
Her: What? I just said he might be better than you.
Me: Thanks a lot again!
Her: (Flustered) But...but..
Me: Just keep digging yourself in!
Her: But...but...

So deep inside, I know that yes, he can pull linear trips off better than I. At that point in my playing life, I had never really even tried to incorporate them into the music I do. I just never felt them I guess. Well that had to change. There's no way I'm sitting still for this. So I start trying to get my head around linear trips, and started shedding them.

(Here's the patience and redemption part)

So here I am, a full 5 years later, and last night, a linear triplet shows up in my playing where prior, I would never have had the coordination to slip it in smoothly. I have been incorporating them on certain endings now for about a year, but I never could get them into the body of the song for whatever reason. Until last night, and suddenly it all clicked. 5 years. I admit I'm slow, but my point is, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only slow person. My point is it takes a lot of patience before something new actually shows up in your playing.

So be patient.

Of course my wife has long forgotten this tiny incident, but I never let it go. My stupid pride got bruised, and I had to do something about it.

 

[Odd-Arne Oseberg]

Yeah. There's a reason we practice the same thing every day. lol

 

[Beam Me Up Scotty]

I can't blame you. Those comments would have eaten away at me, I think. Learning linear triplets was one thing I did early on in my drumming career, if for nothing more than they were the "Best metal fill evar!!!!11!!11!!!!!!1!"

I still hate how long it took me, sitting there doing it over and over and over, day after day. I must have driven everybody in my vicinity crazy, lol.

 

[aydee]

..

As some famous musician said. " Always be a student, never a master". The day you are a master you've stopped learning.

Having said that, there's this thing called being human. Ego, insecurity, competitiveness also feeds our desire to be better. But the desire to be better that a particular guy is when it becomes self-defeating.

Life! No easy answers! Dayam!!! : )


...

 

[mikel]

Simple. I dont compare other drummers to myself. In my mind they are not better or worse just different. (Its apples and oranges) As far as I am concerned I am the best at my individual style of drumming, and others are the best at what they do, and I dont want to do what they do.

 

[Brian]

Of course my wife has long forgotten this tiny incident, but I never let it go. My stupid pride got bruised, and I had to do something about it.

The gist of the story is that, your wife changed your drumming and your life forever.

Simple. I dont compare other drummers to myself. In my mind they are not better or worse just different. (Its apples and oranges) As far as I am concerned I am the best at my individual style of drumming, and others are the best at what they do, and I dont want to do what they do.

Wish I could look at it like this...but there are drummers out there that make me look and sound bad. And vice versa. That's just how it is. Looking at it like "I'm unique and the best at being me" is to me, a cop-out and sort of self-aggrandizement.

 

[_Leviathan_]

I think having confidence in your own voice and style are some of the most important parts of being a musician. I used to go to concerts and felt terrible because I thought the drummer was better than me or could do things I couldn't, but that saps the enjoyment right out of it wondering if you could do things better or worse than the person on stage. Having confidence where you can be inspired by all types of drummers, at all levels, without caring if they are better or worse than you, have fun, and never stop learning is a healthy attitude, and "being the best you that you can be" isn't a cop-out or self aggrandizing in the least.

 

[Magenta]

Larry, I'm chuffed that your patience paid off, and I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be better and being inspired to work your arse off to achieve it.

The thing with playing drums is that you work and work and work, and for a long time absolutely nothing happens - and for all you know, it never will - but you still keep on keeping on. So if eventually it DOES happen, you've damn well earned it.

I must admit, I'd given linear triplets up as a bad job, but assuming I have another 5 years left in me, I'm prompted to give them another go.

 

[Larry]

Simple. I dont compare other drummers to myself. In my mind they are not better or worse just different. (Its apples and oranges) As far as I am concerned I am the best at my individual style of drumming, and others are the best at what they do, and I dont want to do what they do.

Oh I compare all day long. I can't help it. I think every drummer does but it's not politically correct to admit it. Well I admit it. Fuck PC, what an enemy to actual truth. Drumming is the one thing in my life that I feel a certain competive-ness with. I can't help it. If I see someone else do something I like, I try and lift it. This was sort of the case here. Only I lifted it because my wife enjoyed it so much. If it didn't excite her, I wouldn't have given it a 2nd thought.

If a man's wife commented on how sexy another man's shoes were, how many guys here would want to get those same shoes? I know I would. Same kind of thing. Insecure? You betcha lol. All completely secure people, raise their hands.

When I see a Vinnie, yea, I know there's no competition, I lose. But with guys in my scene, yea, I want to be the best. Especially in my wife's eyes. It's not something I can turn off.

Frankly, I'm not buying that you NEVER compared your drumming abilities with anyone else. It's unavoidable, and it's OK.

And another thing lol... In my mind, it is apples and apples. When a race car driver goes up against another race car driver, why is that not apples and oranges?

 

[Larry]

Larry, I'm chuffed that your patience paid off, and I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be better and being inspired to work your arse off to achieve it.

The thing with playing drums is that you work and work and work, and for a long time absolutely nothing happens - and for all you know, it never will - but you still keep on keeping on. So if eventually it DOES happen, you've damn well earned it.

I must admit, I'd given linear triplets up as a bad job, but assuming I have another 5 years left in me, I'm prompted to give them another go.

That was the thrust of this thread Madge, just keep at it. My stupid insecurities/competive-ness...are just a sidetrack...the human element that makes this thread so interesting lol.

 

[JohnnyG]

Well as Ralphie May says in one of his stand up routines, when it comes to marriage, you can be right, or you can be happy. Be happy that you wife was being constructive.

 

[Odd-Arne Oseberg]

 

[Larry]

Well as Ralphie May says in one of his stand up routines, when it comes to marriage, you can right, or you can be happy. Be happy that you wife was being constructive.

IDK Grunt, if I told her that some other woman was better than her in some way, I don't think she would consider that very constructive. I recall being on the defensive that night. I even remember saying to her, "you know I can do that too..." When I really couldn't. Not proud of that or anything.

 

[Magenta]

No other woman is better than your wife.

No other man is better than your wife's husband, and she will scratch out the eyes of anybody who says different. I do, anyway!

As for PC - this is a much misused and maligned term. The whole point of PC is to protect sections of society that are often abused and can't protect themselves. I, for one, can't argue with that.

 

[green glass drum]

Are referring to tom/BD combos?
LRB, LRB
RLB, RLB
LL R,R BB
Glad you got it into your playing.
It seems to take a long time for our practice licks to finally find their way into our comfortable playing zone.

 

[JohnnyG]

No other woman is better than your wife.

No other man is better than your wife's husband, and she will scratch out the eyes of anybody who says different. I do, anyway!

As for PC - this is a much misused and maligned term. The whole point of PC is to protect sections of society that are often abused and can't protect themselves. I, for one, can't argue with that.

As for PC, when I was growing up it was being polite. Didn't need any politics.

 

[Larry]

Are referring to tom/BD combos?
LRB, LRB
RLB, RLB
LL R,R BB
Glad you got it into your playing.
It seems to take a long time for our practice licks to finally find their way into our comfortable playing zone.

Yes, I usually do L,R,K in succession. Sounds the way I prefer them starting with my left hand. Agree, it takes a while for foreign stuff to rise to the surface.

 

[Derek]

I also like RBL, RBL. It sounds nice, very smooth back into the groove (or a crash, if needed). When you think about it, the right hand is just playing eighth notes.

 

[mikel]

Oh I compare all day long. I can't help it. I think every drummer does but it's not politically correct to admit it. Well I admit it. Fuck PC, what an enemy to actual truth. Drumming is the one thing in my life that I feel a certain competive-ness with. I can't help it. If I see someone else do something I like, I try and lift it. This was sort of the case here. Only I lifted it because my wife enjoyed it so much. If it didn't excite her, I wouldn't have given it a 2nd thought.

If a man's wife commented on how sexy another man's shoes were, how many guys here would want to get those same shoes? I know I would. Same kind of thing. Insecure? You betcha lol. All completely secure people, raise their hands.

When I see a Vinnie, yea, I know there's no competition, I lose. But with guys in my scene, yea, I want to be the best. Especially in my wife's eyes. It's not something I can turn off.

Frankly, I'm not buying that you NEVER compared your drumming abilities with anyone else. It's unavoidable, and it's OK.

And another thing lol... In my mind, it is apples and apples. When a race car driver goes up against another race car driver, why is that not apples and oranges?

Hey, thats the way you feel, and nowt wrong with that. Its you that feels insecure, not me, I am more than happy with my last gig, I played like me and my band liked it.

Its nothing like car racing. In car racing there is a winner and lots of losers, in a band there are no winners and losers only a song played well or a song that did not work on the night. I dont go "Up against" other drummers, I play music.

I just said I dont compare myself to other drummers, why should that be so hard to accept? I accept that you have the personality that douse, so we are not alike. Not right or wrong, just different.

 

[Odd-Arne Oseberg]

I compare in the way that someone might have a type of tone or a few cool things they do that I want to "steal", but comparing like it's sports? This is art and we all have different styles that reflect our personality and esthetics.