Nah I dont know anybody. And thanks for all of the responses BOOM BOOM CRASH FWEE BIM BIM LOOO!Are there musicians you can hang out with that could explain this in person? To me the most important characteristics are bright vs. warm/dark.
Bright- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TABgcQ57pOs
Warm- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z6WBP-BkYk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JOy1nM6UoA - The bass in this song is AMAZING. I would describe it as big, warm, and boomy.
Trashy- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEoYrJ-CPvE&feature=channel
Hope that helps a little bit. I'm sort of still figuring out my musical adjectives. But truly, there isn't a wrong way to describe a sound.