I agree: it is RIDICULOUSLY difficult to find people to play with. I found my bass player via Facebook ("Find musicians in North Wales"). I was already good friends with my singer but in a non-musical context so I'd forgotten that she sang. We had the most enormous trouble finding a guitarist, and ended up roping in a mutual friend who said he'd help us out in the short term until we found somebody else. Luckily for us, he stayed, and we've since acquired a second guitarist who plays in one of his other bands. The thing that I can't understand is why neither of them volunteered originally, when they knew we were looking for people.
I take it you've tried putting an ad up in your local music shop, if you have one, and asking friends to ask their friends?