Self-Doubt

mws71

Junior Member
My band had a successful show the other night, however, like anyone else, all I could pick up on were the few mistakes I heard myself make.

Tried getting back to practicing and ironing out the basics and felt like I was playing with all thumbs

I am now in a state where I am totally second guessing my set-up, equipment, and in how I should be playing...I don't feel my natural style coming through.

Any advice?
 
Did anybody else point out these mistakes?

Unless they were egregious, and I doubt they were, usually it's just other drummers who notice what you may consider mistakes. And guess what--you're on the stage, they aren't.

Don't overthink it...
 
My band had a successful show the other night, however, like anyone else, all I could pick up on were the few mistakes I heard myself make.

Tried getting back to practicing and ironing out the basics and felt like I was playing with all thumbs

I am now in a state where I am totally second guessing my set-up, equipment, and in how I should be playing...I don't feel my natural style coming through.

Any advice?

As they say: the tape doesn't lie. It really helps to make a recording of a gig, either video or audio. Your memory of your own performance is certain to be flawed, because you're also in the moment, getting your music on. So don't judge yourself only by your memory. Mistakes you think were significant could be minor. Likewise, things you thought were fine may have some errors.

What, specifically, do you remember doing wrong? Just talking about it is very good medicine when you're feeling down.
 
Unfortunately I don't have a tape of the show. I just know on a few fills, they weren't as exact as I had been able play in rehearsal. The people in the audience I spoke to asked me what mistakes was I grousing about and that I was being way too hard on my playing. The other guys in the band said everything sounded great. Perhaps it's a bad habit of mine to be overly critical of my playing. It was a three hour show, and the music we play can be really mentally taxing. I know near the end of the second set my brain felt like oatmeal and couldn't tell my hands and feet what to do.
 
Unfortunately I don't have a tape of the show. I just know on a few fills, they weren't as exact as I had been able play in rehearsal. The people in the audience I spoke to asked me what mistakes was I grousing about and that I was being way too hard on my playing. The other guys in the band said everything sounded great. Perhaps it's a bad habit of mine to be overly critical of my playing. It was a three hour show, and the music we play can be really mentally taxing. I know near the end of the second set my brain felt like oatmeal and couldn't tell my hands and feet what to do.

3 hours is indeed a lot of music, so stay hydrated and eat a banana on a break.

I just know on a few fills, they weren't as exact as I had been able play in rehearsal.

Man, everyone goes through this! You practice something, but when you get to that moment, it doesn't come out the way you wanted. There are some strategies that can help with this:

1. Record (audio and video if possible) your practice and performances. Watching and listening to yourself do that one fill correctly will add confidence.

2. Practice at a variety of tempos, and not just the song tempo, in order to gain better control over the content. Often, you'll get to the gig and the band wants to juice the tempo 5 bpm.

3. Exhale slowly, and relax as you play a fill.

4. Randomize your practice. Don't practice a fill for 30 minutes straight. Instead, practice it for 5 or 10 min, then practice something else for a while, and then return to that fill. This will help you to recall, and nail, that fill, the very first time, which is exactly what you need to do to pull it off live.

5. Smile while you play and practice. Not only will it help you relax, but you'll enjoy playing more, and people will enjoy watching you play. Show those teeth!

6. Forgive yourself. You're a flawed human being, a work in progress.
 
I'll think that I make a glaring error, and then when I go back to the playback, 95% of the time it's perfectly fine...even if I'm listening for it.

Don't beat yourself up too badly. It's almost always worse than you think.
 
By the way--I do this myself far too often, so I'm not trying to be hard on ya. If I don't play something perfectly, which happens at least once a gig probably, it sours my perception of how the whole gig went no matter how insignificant the mistake probably was. It's a silly exercise really, that makes it hard to enjoy the well-earned adrenaline rush/high one should get after a good gig. This is definitely something to work on, as much as are paradiddles or whatever.

Basically, if the gig went well and there were no complaints from the audience or band members, don't let it linger. They aren't doubting you, so why should you doubt yourself?
 
Yep the video doesn't lie is so true. Makes me believe all drummers should learn wearing headphones with a detection device some distance away-so you only hear what the audience hears. Listening and drumming behind the kit is very deceptive. I've discovered what I thought sounded good behind the kit often sounds terrible and the simple things I don't think sound to hot actually carry the song. The good news is you've discovered any issues and can fix them. I generally turn on and record as habit now-and it is still terrifying. I keep trying to delete the bad stuff-like I can be drag crazy-which is sort of "a drag" lol. But in general some self-doubt is healthier than the other extreme.
 
Self doubt is a hallmark of being in one's head too much.

If all one is listening to is drums...the job doesn't get done by focusing on just the drum part. It's not about you as a drummer, at all, get that out your head. It's how good you can make the band sound.

By focusing on the others, what you were seeking before (to be an awesome drummer) comes about almost automatically. Whereas if you obsess over every note you play....the rest of the band doesn't really benefit from that, and you won't be their favorite drummer.

You are the glue that holds everything together, not a star attraction. Huge difference there. A guy who plays simply with confidence, comes off way better than the same guy playing busy with confidence, and worlds better than the guy who is self doubting. Doubt....there's no room on the stage for it.

I like to think of the drums as the frame of the car. Absolutely essential, but not something that gets highlighted. You don't want to see the frame of the car from outward looks.

Get out of your own head. Enlarge your listening focus to include every person onstage, and play to/with them. Your precious fills are probably doing more harm than good.
 
For every part you are critical of, find another part you did well and feel good about. Nothing wrong with being self critical as long as you give yourself credit too. Surely there are things you do well that you can be proud of. Focus on those for a while. Too much negative thinking can put you back to square one fast. We aren't perfect, we are just people doing what we do. So you flubbed a fill, big deal. You could be doing something much less pleasant, something with no fills to flub.
 
Put the sticks down and go for a walk...read a book...listen to something totally unrelated to what you normally play...lay back on a hill and watch the clouds go by for an hour or two...take a non-musican friend out for coffee or dinner...take a breath or two...and...wait for it.

You'll be fine.

Like Larry said above-you need to get out of your own head man.
 
My band had a successful show the other night, however, like anyone else, all I could pick up on were the few mistakes I heard myself make.

Tried getting back to practicing and ironing out the basics and felt like I was playing with all thumbs

I am now in a state where I am totally second guessing my set-up, equipment, and in how I should be playing...I don't feel my natural style coming through.

Any advice?
Been playing drums since the mid-sixties, and have experienced what you're going thru time and time again. The anxiety inevitably comes from a lack of confidence in my playing, or a comment made by somebody else in the band. Then, I will obsess about the "problem" until I always circle back around to just being the drummer I am - tempered by whatever issues I've hand to confront. Sometimes the issues are self-inflicted, sometimes the issues are real and need to be corrected.

I've worked through over-playing, speeding up during fills, just speeding up in general, playing too loud, and even slowing down when trying to obsess thru speed issues! It's just part of our development as musicians.

Just keep in mind, it's all part of the game, it won't be permanent, and you'll be a better drummer afterward. Doesn't make the situation any less uncomfortable, but you'll be just fine. Guaranteed.

GeeDeeEmm
 
It happens. However, I have learned to not worry about it and just keep on truckin. I try to fix and minimize any kind of mistakes that other people would notice and not worry about mistakes only I will notice.

The main thing you can't do is let any mistake hinder the rest of the gig. Just get past it, and if you can just use it as part of your performance at the time.

Same thing after the gig. Don't dwell on it, and just keep playing... and don't go on YouTube.
 
Unfortunately I don't have a tape of the show. I just know on a few fills, they weren't as exact as I had been able play in rehearsal. The people in the audience I spoke to asked me what mistakes was I grousing about and that I was being way too hard on my playing. The other guys in the band said everything sounded great. Perhaps it's a bad habit of mine to be overly critical of my playing. It was a three hour show, and the music we play can be really mentally taxing. I know near the end of the second set my brain felt like oatmeal and couldn't tell my hands and feet what to do.
We are always going to be our own worst critics - that's just the way it goes.

Regarding getting back to basics, there are a couple of things you could do. One would be to get some kind of a field recorder to set up somewhere to record the gig. In the case of the wedding band, our band leader used to port everything out to a CD burner so that he could go through to try to hear some areas of improvement. Like everyone else says, the recordings don't lie, and I do a fair amount of recording self-critique. This is good because not only will it highlight the things you could maybe tighten up, but you can also listen for the things you do really well so that you can reinforce that.

Regarding practice itself, I think that a key component to being a good musician is to relax - the more relaxed you are while playing, the smoother and tighter everything sounds, and the easier ideas flow. In order to do that, take things back to basics and work on some songs that either are a slower tempo, have simpler grooves - that kind of thing. Work on playing lighter, and maybe just do some basic practice pad work too.

Last thing, everyone who gigs with any kind of regularity has an off gig here or there. Accept this one for what it is, and just kind of let it go - no good ever comes from perseverating on those kinds of things. Be happy about the things that went well, keep in mind the things that didn't, and just try to be better next time. That's really all we can do.
 
Regarding practice itself, I think that a key component to being a good musician is to relax - the more relaxed you are while playing, the smoother and tighter everything sounds, and the easier ideas flow. .

Ain't that the truth. I spent many years thinking I had to work just as hard as I could.

Then I found out that the opposite works WAY better. I was trying to run when all I needed to do was walk.
 
...lay back on a hill and watch the clouds go by for an hour or two...

This really is one of the most relaxing activities one can do. A nice bird/bug tune going on in the background, best way to waste some time ever.
 
One thing that helped me when I'm too self-critical is I think about when other members of the group flub up, I really don't care. I might hear a wrong chord here and there or the vocalist might forget the words or something like that. And I think nothing of their mistakes, because it is normal to not be perfect all the time. So if it doesn't really bother me of others mistakes or flaws, why should my own occasional miscue make me miserable. It happens to all of us.
 
Self-doubt can be neurotically crippling if you let it get to you without using it productively; if you use it as a way to assess your weaknesses and improve upon them, it can be productive. So, don't think of it as an end, but as a means to an end (ie. you let it cripple you or you don't).

Put on one of your favourite albums and listen, I mean really listen, closely to each part. I'm willing to bet you dollars to donuts that under intense scrutiny, each and every musician on that album made at least one "mistake" - at least according to them. Now listen to that album as a fan of the music without the same scrutiny. Do you hear those "mistakes"? Probably not, because in a larger context they are either insignificant or are overwhelmed by the music as a whole.

It's like looking at a supermodel with a pimple on her face; if all you see is the pimple, and you're judging her on that, you're going to miss out on a whole lot of beauty.
 
This stopped happening to me when I resolved to not play on the edge of my ability at a live show. I found that when I was playing at "100%" the propensity for things I would call "mistakes" was amplified.

So against logic dictating that I always give my shows "100%", I dialed it back. I play performances at probably 80% of my top range "ability" and don't write parts into my original songs that I find "difficult" to pull off with total consistency. I know it sounds strange, but what it equates to is confidence on stage. I don't have any parts coming up that worry me. I don't have any sense of dread or anything to think back about when I'm supposed to be getting on with the song.

That said, mistakes still happen, but this concept I'm talking about really helps me to quickly get them out of my head, because hey, I didn't make a mistake because I wasn't up to the part or it was complicated or I was trying to do difficult things; I just made a small fumble and I'm not worried about the rest of the piece at all. I just let go because I know I couldn't have done it differently in the moment.

When you're relaxed and confident in what you're playing you make far fewer mistakes anyway.

Lastly, nobody cares. Not even other drummers as that little voice might tell you. Yea, if you fumble enough, they'll notice, but then it's over and they'll forget. Everyone else is too busy shaking their own butts to give any rats butts.
 
This stopped happening to me when I resolved to not play on the edge of my ability at a live show. I found that when I was playing at "100%" the propensity for things I would call "mistakes" was amplified.

So against logic dictating that I always give my shows "100%", I dialed it back. I play performances at probably 80% of my top range "ability" and don't write parts into my original songs that I find "difficult" to pull off with total consistency. I know it sounds strange, but what it equates to is confidence on stage. I don't have any parts coming up that worry me. I don't have any sense of dread or anything to think back about when I'm supposed to be getting on with the song.

That said, mistakes still happen, but this concept I'm talking about really helps me to quickly get them out of my head, because hey, I didn't make a mistake because I wasn't up to the part or it was complicated or I was trying to do difficult things; I just made a small fumble and I'm not worried about the rest of the piece at all. I just let go because I know I couldn't have done it differently in the moment.

When you're relaxed and confident in what you're playing you make far fewer mistakes anyway.

Lastly, nobody cares. Not even other drummers as that little voice might tell you. Yea, if you fumble enough, they'll notice, but then it's over and they'll forget. Everyone else is too busy shaking their own butts to give any rats butts.

This is top notch advice. Some of the best stuff I have read here and this place is a gold mine of information.

Best of all, it demands less of the player, not more. Perfect!
 
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