This thread topic is indicative of the "I don't want to work hard" mentality. Kind of pisses me off a little TBH. Why? Laziness. Lazy people piss me off. The value of hard work and earning skills is largely lost on the young people of today, at least that what it seems like to me.
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The thread title should read, "Why don't I understand the value of learning skills?" Or, Why do I look for everyone else to solve my problems?" Or, Why am I too lazy to learn how to control my instrument?"
Learn your friggin instrument.
You lost me, Larry. Who here has said anything about not understanding the value of control? The closest one who's said anything remotely like that would be me.
I don't consider myself lazy in the least, but my skill set and motivation for playing isn't at all driven by the thought of entertaining diners wanting chit-chat in a restaurant. If that makes me lazy to you, then so be it.
Actually, I'd love to see how you're pulling it off so do post a video of yourself at one of these quiet gigs. Doesn't really apply to me, but I'm still curious to see how you can do everything as well at ppp that you can do at your most neutral and natural volume.
I said it before and I'll say it again: drums are acoustic instruments played by people whose touch determines everything related to volume, attack, and timbre. There comes a point when hitting hard that a drum won't do anymore, but similarly, there's is also a lower limit where, if not hit hard enough, the shell doesn't get involved and cymbals don't open up. That's just physics.
Also, as I mentioned earlier in this thread (to which no one responded) was the idea of having horns in a band at these volumes. They are just as acoustic as drums and the character of their tones is dependent on how hard they're blown. Don't hire a horn player if you can't handle the volume.
Think about the other players in your band; are you suggesting they haven't learned to play their instrument if they can't pick a string at 10% intensity all night? Of course not. They have volume knobs for that, so them getting to a lower volume doesn't require any change in their technique. They get to keep strumming/picking/plucking along just as they always do, so it seems pretty unfair for them, or anyone else, to be chastising drummers for playing comfortably.
Just to emphasize where I'm at on dynamics; I'm not saying, and have never said, "to hell with it all, just go ahead and bash away," but I am saying there is a lower limit to how quiet you can go before the integrity of the instrument and the music begins to suffer.
My beef is centered around someone hiring a full band with the expectation that people will want to talk quietly over them. For a setting like this, a full band is probably not a great idea to begin with, and a band leader imposing an unrealistic physical restriction on the other instruments not equipped with volume knobs is kinda lame.
Ultimately though, it comes down to what you can tolerate. If you're cool with it, then far be it from me to criticize, but you'll never find me at one of those gigs - not as a player or spectator.
If I want live music, I want it in all it's glory, not as some bland piece of restaurant "art" sitting along side the mood lighting, IKEA paintings, and plastic plants. If I want relaxing and nice quiet conversation, I'm not going to a venue advertising live music.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I get a little defensive at the word "lazy", and money before art always gets my hackles up.