I'll try and contribute:
Someone who can play musical time with confidence. (Great meter)
Someone who has a honed tempo sense.
Someone who understands the song form and doesn't get lost.
Someone who understands dynamics and knows how to use them effectively across many genres.
Someone who understands that drums are not a lead instrument 99% of the time.
Someone who listens to the lyrics and understands what the song is about, and matches the drum part to the mood.
Someone who doesn't introduce their own problems to the music or to the other musicians.
Someone who doesn't overplay while accompanying, and who also can really nail an ending. (guys that do the opposite irk me)
Someone who "helps" the soloist get where they want to go.
Someone who has exceptional listening skills, that can let others do their thing and just support. Someone who can leave space, and is comfortable with space. (while the time marches on)
Someone who understands why they subtracted their ego from their playing (hint: ego is a giant obstacle). They consciousnessly leave out their ego just as much as possible and play for the song/musicians.
And the 5 MOST important things...the gear, the threads, the performance, the groove and the vocal