What if Chuck Norris played Mapex Saturns?


Platinum Member
Chuck Norris couldn't play a Mapex Saturn - or any other kit for that matter. Once he would begin, the drums would break up into a million tiny wood chips.


Platinum Member
On Chuck Norris' drumset, the heads are made out of real human skin.

When Chuck Norris plays double bass, members of the audience suffer from loose stools.

Once when Chuck Norris played a drum solo, he finished it by impaling the guitarist through the ear with a 8A stick.

When an audience member failed to clap loudly enough after one of Chuck Norris' performances, he hurled a ride cymbal and decapitated them.

Chuck Norris only plays a custom set he made himself, shaving wood plies with his teeth and forming/pressing the shells under his scrotum.


Pioneer Member
Chuck Norris wouldn't play the Saturns. Chuck Norris would stare at the Saturns and they would begin to play themselves and then burst into flame.

I have undeniable proof that Chuck does not play Mapex Saturn! He plays Pearl as seen in the video
OMG the pants-off CN is awesome.

Thank God - we can now stomp on the Saturns -)
As we should.

YAY! MAPEX SATURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!