What Brand should I Buy? Sarcasm Requested, Please

DrummerCA35

Senior Member
I miss the old abusive ddario forum with the sarcasm, flames, and cruelty. Can someone help me out? Here are some questions:

What band of drums should I buy?

What better? Maple or birtch?

What brand of cymbals should I buy?

Why does my snare drum buzz when I play my toms?

Why does my snare drum ring so much?

How do I tune my drums?

I cracked my cymbal when I gave it a big wallap. What should I do?
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Ddrums
Falkata
Pitch Blacks
The bass player
Because you're supposed to muffle it you stupid chucklehead
With a drum key
Finish the job
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
So drummer CA35. Obviously you used the CA in your screen name to signify that you live in California. Why trumpet that fact? California is full of hollow people. What D-bag would advertise that? Oh and in Sept. 2014 you were 35. Big Whoop. What so that tells us that you're in the prime of your life? Why do you have to brag so much? How unimaginative.
You could use some humbleness. And a more intelligent brain. You're probably not that masculine either. I'd bet that you have a small, pathetic little pee pee.

:p
 

DrumEatDrum

Platinum Member
What band of drums should I buy?
Who cares? They're all round pieces of wood. Unless they're not wood.

What better? Maple or birtch?
Maple is better if you're trying to get syrup for your pancakes.

What brand of cymbals should I buy?
Ones that sound good.

Why does my snare drum buzz when I play my toms?
Because the snare faire wants to make sure drummers are driven mad by constant buzzing.

Why does my snare drum ring so much?
Your snare drum gives you rings? Nice. I had to buy my wife's ring from a jeweler.

How do I tune my drums?
With a drum key.

I cracked my cymbal when I gave it a big wallap. What should I do?
Wallop it again, so you can say you meant to do that.
 

GruntersDad

Administrator - Mayor
Staff member
I would say buy everything I have or use and then I can answer all of your questions. And if you are really bored, you can come mow my lawn.
 

mikel

Platinum Member
What drum brand to buy? Why DW of course, they are the BMW of drums, desired by young chancers and owned by social climbers who think ownership makes them a pro.

Cymbals? The biggest name you can think of, don't worry about listening to them first, or even what they sound like, the name is all that counts.

The drums must be black, of course, and you must spend a ludicrous amount on a top of the range double pedal, two if you can stretch.

Your snare rings cos you cant tune your overpriced drums properly.

All help freely given.
 

Superman

Gold Member
The only solution here is to hold your breath for exactly 7 minutes..the outcome will be appropriate for asking those questions. ;)
 

wildbill

Platinum Member
Drums - Sunlight

Mirtch or Baple - no difference

Cymbals - LittleLyon

Remove the snare resonant head to eliminate buzz

Completely fill your snare with spray on insulation foam to eliminate ring

Drums don't need tuning

Drill tiny holes and use an industrial strength stapler to fix cymbal cracks
 
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