We're looking for a metal drummer


New member
Has to be:
*half pig/human hybrid
*wants to wear a pig mask all day, every day
*talk pig
*hate everything except his mates
*either buff or fat strong like some villain in a horror game
*can find truffles with scent alone
*can be novice and evolve with the band
*loves wine and fine arts
*will be legally renamed to Sir Porkgrinder Nobleton the third
*prefferably in our age range
*preferably scandinavian or close by, so distance isn't such a big factor
If you have a big farm or slaughterhouse, that helps with future album covers and music videos

pls response or go to our non-existent site and sign up
/Bassist Bane from Nil Rovaan


Platinum Member
One cannot hate everything but love wine and fine arts.

You want a drum machine. Even us metal drummers are more than pigs with a speed obsession.


Platinum Member
Dang they’ve gone hog wild for everything porcine. Pigs are both intelligent and clean, then to advocating violence and age discrimination I think that’s in insects not pigs . Yeah this post “bugs” me a little. Pigs are not not only good to eat but use to provide insulin till recombinant came along , they are breeding “sterile” pigs free of pathogens and lack immunogenicity as human organ donors , used as an animal model in pediatric research but despite all their contributions treated like a bunch of animals LOL. Man if you would have been asking 40 years ago I’d have all the qualifications but being a metal drummer. Bad timing mate but I know there has to be a pig for you.