Weird question, but Whats the best thing/s about having a woman with you in a stable relationship instead of just aimlessly go on dates etc and not

georgeusa

Active Member
Weird question, but Whats the best thing/s about having a woman with you in a stable relationship instead of just aimlessly go on dates etc and not settling down?

thanks
 

C. Dave Run

Gold Member
There is no single answer.

My wife loves me more than I love myself. I love my wife more than she loves herself. This makes us want to be better people for each other, which in turn makes us better individuals to ourselves.

There is entirely too much to unwrap here, but if you open yourself up to someone and they do the same for you, everything starts to look so much better.
 

Al Strange

Platinum Member
Hi @georgeusa , I hope this thread doesn’t go south like the “cost of a g/f” thread! :oops::ROFLMAO: It’s all about finding the right person for you. If you’re aimlessly going on dates you’re forcing it. Learn to enjoy your own company first and then get out and meet people with zero pressure. That’s whenyou’ll most likely meet your other half…when you’re not looking for it! I’d take settling down over singledom any day of the week! Others prefer self focused shallow relationships without commitment and that’s fine too. Whatever tunes your drums…:)(y)
 

Stroman

Platinum Member
An impossible-to-answer question, because each person's needs are different. I think some people are self-contained and self-sustaining, and having less intimate types of relationships are enough for them. Not just enough, but preferable.

Other people - and here I'll say most people - benefit from the emotional intimacy of stable relationships.

I'm one of those rare people who has been comfortable both ways. Each has benefits. Just depends on what the individual wants and needs
 

georgeusa

Active Member
An impossible-to-answer question, because each person's needs are different. I think some people are self-contained and self-sustaining, and having less intimate types of relationships are enough for them. Not just enough, but preferable.

Other people - and here I'll say most people - benefit from the emotional intimacy of stable relationships.

I'm one of those rare people who has been comfortable both ways. Each has benefits. Just depends on what the individual wants and needs

is the benefits of the latter i.e not settling down more towards pleasure or? thanks
 

jda

Silver Member
believe the question was asked answered very well in a 1987 movie called "Moonstruck" highly recommend;



"because he fears death"

That movie asks and answers Lots of Questions and is Funny as heck
 
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Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Diamond Member
you don't have to keep justifying your musical habits/involvement/infatuation etc....

I did not get married till I was 48. I honestly never thought I would find anyone who would put up with my eccentric lifestyle, so I am sometimes still iini shock.. We dated for 8 years previous as well.

I did seriously date 3 other women in the past, but they just couldn't hang. I did not want the "American Dream" of 2.5 kids, white picket fence and 9-5. All but one of the relationships ended in mutual agreement.

The cool thing about finding someone forever is that you can see your future sort of solidify up. As I get older - I am 53 now - that is something I think of more and more.
 

Stroman

Platinum Member
is the benefits of the latter i.e not settling down more towards pleasure or? thanks
I wouldn't say it can be defined in those terms. Settling down may provide pleasure for one person, while staying single may provide pleasure for another.

It seems to me you are thinking of "settling down" as boring, and dating around as exciting and full of pleasure. The truth is, either can be exciting and fulfilling, or boring and lonely. It depends on where you are in your personal development, what you need from relationships, etc.

There is no easy answer, sorry.
 

DrumEatDrum

Platinum Member
So one doesn't have to go aimlessly on dates, wondering if this one will work out or when the next date is.

I never want to be single again. That aimlessly part got old.
 

pgm554

Platinum Member
The police will know who to suspect if you end up a homicide.
 

toddbishop

Platinum Member
Or a man, depending on your gender and how you swing, right.

What's good about it, a second income, emotional support, hopefully you're with somebody who appreciates you and shares your interests, helps you run your household, maybe your business. And stability is generally a good thing for its own sake.
 

BGDurham

Well-known Member
I am divorced and nearly 52 and my kids and their friends are old enough to not need parents around. This means I spend a lot of time on my own because it's true that it's hard for men, especially single men IMO, to establish and maintain friendships. I am not lonely per se (often alone, but not lonely), but it would be better to have a significant other with whom I could enjoy the fun things and the meaningful things and also share the tough things. Dating can be fun and usually is, but it's not enough in my opinion.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry" - Administrator
Staff member
I would first define what your desire/needs are in a partner.

It's probably the most important decision one can make, choosing the right person.
 

georgeusa

Active Member
So one doesn't have to go aimlessly on dates, wondering if this one will work out or when the next date is.

I never want to be single again. That aimlessly part got old.

can i ask u, do you think the "i never want to be single again" Is also influenced by other people

what i mean is,

is it also how other people see you and how they will think about u being single?
 

georgeusa

Active Member
also do you guys think this following question is good way to think to reach a conclusion "Do you want a different friend each day or a friend u known from childhood kind of thing? or it doesn't relate
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry" - Administrator
Staff member
Also, as a guy, IMO it's really important that you pick her, not the other way around. Trust me on this.
 

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Diamond Member
i don't think too many guys can resist a pretty girl making eye contact with them? so i guess they win always

well.....sometimes they win until they open their mouth..
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry" - Administrator
Staff member
If you want to keep your self respect as a man, you pursue what you want in a woman. You pick her for you. It's all about you, not her in the selection process. If you put her on a pedestal...never, never put women on pedestals. It doesn't work for you or her longterm. Your reward for doing that? You get to keep doing it as your self respect melts away layer by layer

These are my views only. They may not fit in your life. I'm relaying what I learned the hard way.

Say you're going to buy a car. You pick what features you need. You never let anyone else decide that for you.
 
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