I think the issue of a cymbal stand walking away was more due to the harmonics induced by the tempo that caused them to begin swaying. How hard was I hitting? That depended on what afternoon or evening that I played. I was in a USO house band for the officers club on Travis AFB, CA. Basically played all the top 20 of the time and a lot of older stuff, Sinatra and Bennie Goodman. Some hard rock, classic rock, pop rock, southern rock, rock a billy and bluegrass, and finally jazz fusion and some dirty blues. Basically a wide ranging cover band. Mics setup was primitive, so when I needed to be louder I had to use a larger pair of sticks and hit harder. The walking was more pronounced when playing hard rock, dirty blues, and jazz - depending on tempo. Most of the time the flooring was polished and a carpet pad was frowned upon. Sometimes it was a tile floor and others a wooden floor.
About my technique: your comments got me to thinking. I first started to drum in 1968. When I was playing in the O'Club in the early 70's, I was still pretty young. Back then, there was no internet, YouTube, and other educational materials that is available today - which meant by progression in technique took a lot longer. FF to today, bought a new Pearl kit in 2017, including hardware. When playing I noticed the cymbal stand sometimes began to sway and I'd have flashbacks of what happened in the 70's and I'd ease off. The first thing I replaced was the cheap throne with one from Gibraltar - and yes I was very impressed. Bought some brackets from Gibraltar and I'm likewise very impressed (the Pearl bracket threads were too soft and couldn't hold my toms without pulling out).
More on my technique: I have never cracked a cymbal, broken a stick, or put a hole in a drumhead. After 52 years of drumming, I do not have any signs of arthritis or repetitive stress injuries. Improper technique seems to cause injuries that magnify with age.
Over tightening: after setting up my kit, if they slip, I readjust and tighten a little more. At some point the wingnut puts a dent in the tubing - not actually bending it. The cheap throne that came with my kit was almost identical to the one I had nearly 50 years ago, the only difference being the adjustment in height. Today there is a spring button that holds the height of the throne really good. When I replaced it with a Gibraltar throne, the height adjustment was sold and locked into place. Back in the early 70's my throne used a clevis pin that would occasionally pop out and the throne would bottom out and jar me so bad that I rolled off the back of it.
Thanks for the detailed response, I hope I didn't come across as snarky.