How hard you actually hit the drum is not the only thing that could be contributing to these kinds of problems. A short dip into some drumhead science may help you a bit.
A Remo Controlled Sound Reverse Dot drum head is a thick, two-ply Mylar head with the dot glued on the bottom side. It is stretched over your drum, and when you hit it, the sound disperses across the head from the point of contact. The head transfers sound down, through the drum, through the resonant head.
Your problem is with the glue on the bottom of the batter head. I don't know what kind of glue it is, but it can be affected in various ways. When it is loosened, this is caused by a series of vibrations which eventually separate the glue from the dot. The amount and magnitude of each vibration will be larger if you hit harder, but this on its own may not affect the glue significantly. Here are some components which may loosen the dot.
TUNING: If you tune fairly tight in general, the center of the head will be stretched a tiny bit closer to the rim all around, though the Dot doesn't stretch. This may loosen the glue because it is repositioned on the head where it meets the Dot. Much more significantly, UNEVEN tuning will cause inequalities in the dispersion of vibrations. Sound takes the path of least resistance when traveling in vibrating waves across a surface. The more uneven the surface, the more vibrations will take the tighter (shorter) path along one side of your head, passing through your Dot and creating a weak spot on it. Here, the glue may separate.
Stroke: The way you hit the drum is characteristic in multiple ways. Your hand brings the stick down onto the drum head and the force from your hand translates to vibrations across the head. At this point, there are multiple ways this can go.
In an "ideal" stroke (by my own definition), the stick has the shortest possible time in contact with the head. The stick rebounds freely, directly back along its path. The head itself, as I mentioned, transmits vibrations. When you use a free, legato stroke with free rebound, the vibrations are stimulated and uninterrupted, allowing even dispersion and more resonance.
The Law of Conservation of Energy states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred. When you apply force to the head with a rebounding, free stroke, the head disperses the force, and it is reciprocated in the rebound of the stick. In a good legato stroke, the stick itself will transmit the force of the rebound, and will sing with a distinct tone (note that Vic Firth sticks are Pitch-Matched; this refers to the sticks' fundamental vibrating tone). The head will transmit vibrations more freely and achieve a fuller sound.
However, there are inefficient ways to hit a drum. When you hold the stick tightly, the force dispersion on the drum will be much different. It will be much harder to minimize the time of contact on the drum head. Therefore, with a sharper articulation, the stick will drive tonal vibrations straight down by cutting off the path to the resonating body that is the rest of the head. The force of the rebound will be less efficiently circulated. The vibrations are focused straight down (generally into specific areas of the Dot, weakening its glue), and because of the channel created by the angle of the stick, vibrations have more time to come back up through that path. Instead of reverberating freely throughout the stick, the vibrations will travel straight up through your wrists and fingers, which, after a while, can cause some injuries. These vibrations will try to resonate throughout the stick but will be stopped, and trapped in the stick. This will exert a lot of stress on the sticks, and they will often break. Most drummers, in fact, who break sticks do so both by playing hard, and improperly controlling the vibrations that travel back through the stick. Those vibrations will deaden the sound on your drum, hurt your hands, and damage your sticks and drumhead, both on the playing surface and on the glue on the underlying dot.
Finally, consistently hitting the drumhead off-center will cause an unequal distribution of vibrations. By affecting one area of your head, you will create a weak spot on the glue, as mentioned above. This will eventually cause one part of the Dot to loosen.
There are many drummers who use almost completely ideal, legato, rebounding motions. My favorite is Dave Weckl, who has come as close as anyone to mastering this style. Listen to the way his drums sing; they noticeably affirm the significance of a good, legato stroke and consistent tuning. Also, Peter Erskine and some others. Steve Smith uses rebound technique fantastically, and notably, also plays Controlled Sound heads. You can be pretty sure that these guys don't break a lot of sticks, let alone heads.
The bottom line is that while your heads may be flawed (probably weak glue), you have to make sure that every other component of your playing doesn't force the issue. You'll spend a lot less money on heads, sticks, and arthritis medication if your stroke facilitates a natural motion. Personally, I'd recommend staying with Remo. You can control your heads' durability, but not their sound. If you prefer Remo's sound, stay with those heads. Evans can put any kind of 'research and innovation' into the heads they're touting, but it doesn't matter if (as is my opinion and preference) Remo heads still sound better. It's ALL about sound.