Please stop talking...

[Cmdr. Ross]

Sorta drum related, but also life in general.
Over the last year, I've seen a growing trend in how my interaction with people have gone. I'll be asked by someone who knows I'm a drummer a drum related question. When I give the answer, I'm then confronted by that same person telling me I'm only partly correct. Then they proceed to give me "the rest of it" just to (I guess) show me that they know more than me.

And it's not only drumming subjects. It seems like it's everything these days. I just don't know quite enough to satisfy the person I'm talking to and they have no issue with telling me either how I don't know what I'm talking about or how wrong I am.
Yet they're the ones who ASKED ME!!!

I'm really starting to hate people more and more these days & I don't like myself for it. Yet I see no end in sight.

 

[Jeremy Crockett]

Sorta drum related, but also life in general.
Over the last year, I've seen a growing trend in how my interaction with people have gone. I'll be asked by someone who knows I'm a drummer a drum related question. When I give the answer, I'm then confronted by that same person telling me I'm only partly correct. Then they proceed to give me "the rest of it" just to (I guess) show me that they know more than me.

And it's not only drumming subjects. It seems like it's everything these days. I just don't know quite enough to satisfy the person I'm talking to and they have no issue with telling me either how I don't know what I'm talking about or how wrong I am.
Yet they're the ones who ASKED ME!!!

I'm really starting to hate people more and more these days & I don't like myself for it. Yet I see no end in sight.

I understand all too well.

We are a culture drowning in data and dying from a lack of wisdom regarding how to process that data. Thus, many "conversations" become nothing more than an excuse to regurgitate said data without being informed by it.

At least, that is how I see it.

 

[AzHeat]

You're wrong and I know more than you. There, I feel way better. How do you feel? I don't really care, you're probably all mixed up and don't know anyway....

 

[AzHeat]

In all seriousness. There's hardly any worthwhile conversations anymore. It's not just socially. It's the same in business and getting worse. We get called in because the customer is trying to solve some challenge, we offer a great solution at a great price and are told we are wrong and they go back to what they were doing before we got there. I've seen this get progressively worse since Covid. It's not just on social media anymore. It's everywhere and very much a reflection of every great or bad idea being affirmed in the same way.

There was a time when two opposing views could be wrong, one right, but not both right are gone. Now it's I'm "righterer" then you and don't want to be told differently. Happens a lot here too.

 

[Tony_H]

Sorta drum related, but also life in general.
Over the last year, I've seen a growing trend in how my interaction with people have gone. I'll be asked by someone who knows I'm a drummer a drum related question. When I give the answer, I'm then confronted by that same person telling me I'm only partly correct. Then they proceed to give me "the rest of it" just to (I guess) show me that they know more than me.

And it's not only drumming subjects. It seems like it's everything these days. I just don't know quite enough to satisfy the person I'm talking to and they have no issue with telling me either how I don't know what I'm talking about or how wrong I am.
Yet they're the ones who ASKED ME!!!

I'm really starting to hate people more and more these days & I don't like myself for it. Yet I see no end in sight.

I don't think you properly constructed this thread to convey the point you wanted to make.....

Sorry I had to...LOL

But yes, people think I'm a recluse or un-approachable because I don't like to interact with the masses, specifically when we play out. I am just trying to avoid what you brilliantly described in the OP.

 

[harryconway]

Yet they're the ones who ASKED ME!!!

I'd just stop 'em in their tracks, with that exact thought ..... "Wait a minute, dude. YOU just asked ME a question ..... and YOU already knew the answer to it ?????" WTF ?????

 

[Al Strange]

I don’t know. There’s always been people who are self-absorbed and/or convinced they have all the answers. I’ve often been described as “a good listener” and don’t mind lending an ear to people who need it. That said I try to avoid “know-it-all” energy vampires as they absolutely exhaust me. They usually have a seemingly innocuous in to the conversation by asking after you, a mutual friend or asking for your view on something they want to talk at you about. When you return the favour or give a brief response they jump in and you can’t get a word in edgewise to escape from them!! I feel your pain mate!

 

[Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX]

well, to me, our culture in America has turned into "I the person" instead of "we the people", and that means that peoples intentions are all very self absorbed in a way.
Like: ' I am going to answer the question not b/c I want to help the querent, but I want them to think that I am an expert" .

I tell my students all the time:" I would rather hear 'I don't know', then just spouted BS" Be honest, and then learn it.. NOT look it up on Google, but actually learn it

and people actually do not know things anymore...they Google. And Googling makes you a "jack of all trades", if that can even be called what it is, and a master of none. <--- Instant Gratification. The New American Way.. Microwave Answers.

bruh. samme as @Cmdr. Ross , I am definitely done with mainstream American culture.....

 

[mrthirsty]

This is sometimes referred to as the Dunning-Kruger effect, in psychology, a cognitive bias whereby people with limited knowledge or competence in a given intellectual or social domain greatly overestimate their own knowledge or competence in that domain relative to objective criteria or to the performance of their peers or of people in general.

 

[larryace]

It's difficult for me to find people who don't talk about themselves 100% of the time.

I have no tolerance remaining for people who can't see past themselves.

 

[planoranger]

...It's not just on social media anymore. It's everywhere and very much a reflection of every great or bad idea being affirmed in the same way.

I think that's because social media has ingrained itself into everything people do. I've really started to notice this once the popularity grew (read: out of control). It's almost like when people talk, they still think that they're on Twitter, Facebook, etc, etc. This forum is the ONLY form of social media in which I take part.

Furthermore, what everybody prior to me wrote, I agree 100%. It's just I have that I have a real dislike for social media. It's almost like it gives people license to be idiots.

 

[Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX]

I think that's because social media has ingrained itself into everything people do. I've really started to notice this once the popularity grew (read: out of control). It's almost like when people talk, they still think that they're on Twitter, Facebook, etc, etc. This forum is the ONLY form of social media in which I take part.

Furthermore, what everybody prior to me wrote, I agree 100%. It's just I have that I have a real dislike for social media. It's almost like it gives people license to be idiots.

same here brutha...I have never participated in "phone" social media. Ever. I saw the stupidity in that from day one, and wanted to have no ties to that world.

and referring to Uncle Larry's comment, there is a fine line between talking about your self, and talking about your perceived self-importance. I think the latter is what we see too much of now.

and I notice with my kids, and my students, that they don't get how I don't have my phone in my had ALL of the time, checking social media. They just can't conceive that I don't care about what a bunch of strangers think about my day to day opps....

 

[Mediocrefunkybeat]

This sometimes referred to as the Dunning-Kruger effect, in psychology, a cognitive bias whereby people with limited knowledge or competence in a given intellectual or social domain greatly overestimate their own knowledge or competence in that domain relative to objective criteria or to the performance of their peers or of people in general.

Was about to say exactly the same thing. If somebody is calling themselves an 'expert' there's a high chance they're not. If somebody else calls them an 'expert', it's a different story...

 

[Cmdr. Ross]

I think that's because social media has ingrained itself into everything people do. I've really started to notice this once the popularity grew (read: out of control). It's almost like when people talk, they still think that they're on Twitter, Facebook, etc, etc. This forum is the ONLY form of social media in which I take part.

Furthermore, what everybody prior to me wrote, I agree 100%. It's just I have that I have a real dislike for social media. It's almost like it gives people license to be idiots.

I find 99% of social media very toxic. This forum, a limited Reddit account and a Facebook page that I visit about one minute every 3 days (mainly for family that live far away) is all I have left.
I fully agree it's the reason people just don't know how to talk to another human face-to-face anymore. They speak to you like they're looking at a screen & those of us who don't communicate that way just don't know what to make of them.

I weep for the future.

 

[larryace]

People disappoint me on a regular basis. Having semi high standards...it's hard to negotiate a world with no real standards. OK that's exaggerated but it illustrates how I feel.

 

[Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX]

I find 99% of social media very toxic. This forum, a limited Reddit account and a Facebook page that I visit about one minute every 3 days (mainly for family that live far away) is all I have left.
I fully agree it's the reason people just don't know how to talk to another human face-to-face anymore. They speak to you like they're looking at a screen & those of us who don't communicate that way just don't know what to make of them.

I weep for the future.

yeah.....social media, among some other things now-a-days, allows people to live in a bubble they have created for themselves, and then when that bubble runs into another "reality" bubble and breaks, they don't know what to do

pre social media, when face to face interaction was the norm, you had to shut up and listen for part o the interaction....that does not happen any more

"Shut Up and Listen" was the single best advice I ever got rom my dad...ever

America, at least, currently needs more "Shut Up and Listen".....

 

[C. Dave Run]

*edited for whomever gets hurt by words

 

[AzHeat]

America, at least, currently needs more "Shut Up and Listen".....

God, would that be a welcome change. It'd be nice to be able to say something without getting deleted for a change. Getting one's bubble bursted now and again used to build character. Now everyone pees themselves!

 

[jaymandude]

You can blame social media and I do , but it’s really about the individual. I tour with a few bands and guys are constantly on the phone in the van. Checking their accounts. The news. Drum or guitar forums.

They don’t have any problems talking or relating when they put the phone down ..

 

[AzHeat]

You can blame social media and I do , but it’s really about the individual. I tour with a few bands and guys are constantly on the phone in the van. Checking their accounts. The news. Drum or guitar forums.

Wait, what? I was checking DW to see if I'm still important and everyone agrees with me. Back to you in a bit...