Playing Drums after Catastrophic Loss

GrimmReefer

Senior Member
You have no apologies to make for your playing in those demos. You exemplify the talent shown every day by the working drummers of the world who make a band groove. The famous get the accolades, but it's guys like us that make the local music scenes live on. Thanks for the inspiring testimony, and for the drumming. God bless.

GeeDeeEmm
I 2nd this! Honestly, I hear nothing but a professional doing his work. You have nothing to apologize for.

Actually, say you're sorry right now for doubting your skill!
 

philrudd

Senior Member
Wow...the sadness, anger, and elation I felt reading your story were all soul deep. And that was just READING the story. I can't imagine living it.

Your attitude is simply amazing. Thanks for sharing and reminding us what life is really all about, and all the things we need to be grateful for.
 

KnuckleBuster

Senior Member
Your story moved me to tears. I don't have any children and can't imagine what a loss like that would feel like coupled with your own physical loss. It's inspiring to me that you have overcome all of that and made positives of it. Your band sounds good and you have learned to deal with what life has given you. Kudos to you!
 

Skate

Senior Member
Absolute crap that they let that guy drive after 9 DUIs.

This was very inspirational, to be honest, after all you've been through, I would've given up, but you didn't.
 

Thunder 42

Silver Member
Sitting here with my best friend enjoying music, and decided to take a trip to the Rewind site - we both agree that we'd love to see you guys live. Love the beat and tempo of the demo songs. Keep playing!
 

Blisco

Senior Member
It's great that you could keep the passion after that but sometimes drums are what you need.

I have a good friend who is paralyzed from the waist down and plays in a band with his Zen drum. He, and the band, sound wonderful. His was a self-inflicted motocross accident yet not once in the dozen years since it happened have I heard him say a negative thing. Always happy and positive. A real inspiration.

When we were teens, we used to set up our matching Swingstars and jam out together. He still brags I taught him everything he knows. What he doesn't really know, is he taught me a lot more.

Have fun and keep playing.
 

DrummerCA35

Senior Member
Hey guys,

Thank you all so much for your more than generous posts and comments. I just did what I had to do...go on the best that I could for those I care about. As I may have mentioned, my other daughter was only 7 when this happened, and she had to deal with the murder of her sister (yes, murder, he was convicted of second degree murder) and seeing her dad maimed and in the hospital for months. My #1 goal was that she still have a happy childhood and this not ruin her life. If that could could happen, everything else was gravy. My wife and I gave her 110% of our love and energy, and she's happy, and has a great life. She's a strong girl. while some of you say you never could have done what I have --- I betcha you would have made it too. Because in my opinion people who think about and care about others will strive on as long as long and best as they can. Because you dont' know, until you're in a situation like it (and I hope you never are).

Thank you to those who took the time to listen to our demo and comment on it. While I would have done a lot of things differently, it's really nice to hear nice feedback.
 

DW-Doug

Senior Member
Loss and pain beyond what any man and family should have to endure. So Sorry brother. Be Blessed.
 

philrudd

Senior Member
You know, I was thinking about your story last night, and it occurred to me that your wife must be one hell of a lady.

What a statement she made by setting up your drums for you during your recovery. To understand you so well, and your connection to drums, and the cathartic, rehabilitative effects that drumming can have...smart, sensitive woman.

Please give her a hug from me.
 

DrummerCA35

Senior Member
You know, I was thinking about your story last night, and it occurred to me that your wife must be one hell of a lady.

What a statement she made by setting up your drums for you during your recovery. To understand you so well, and your connection to drums, and the cathartic, rehabilitative effects that drumming can have...smart, sensitive woman.

Please give her a hug from me.
I have to comment on this. Thank you for this. I just want to say that our other daughter's 7th birthday party was scheduled a week after the tragedy. While I was still in a coma, and our other daughter in Heaven, my wife had the strength to carry on and have the party for our little girl. She wanted her to have the best life she could, regardless of the tragedy. So that's the kind of strength she had. That summer while I was in the hospital, she was taking our daughter to girl scouts, camp, etc, and not letting this ruin her life. My wife is also a physical therapist which helped for sure. And yes, I was in a wheelchair for months. In between surgeries, while I was at home, she set up my drums...brought them in from the garage. Then I'd wheel over and try to hit the bass drum with the prosthetic foot.

I want you guys to know that we have a good life...out daughter is now 13 and very happy and successful in her life, we travel, do fun things, and deal with our other challenges. It's possible to miss and grieve the loss of a child still enjoy your life --- she would have wanted this for us. And it wouldn't be fair to our other kids to put ourselves in a depressed rut all the time. That's not to say I don't look forward to when I can see her again on the other side, but I have to do the best I can while I'm here.

Thank you --- and everyone --- for your kind posts.
 

Blisco

Senior Member
I have to comment on this. Thank you for this. I just want to say that our other daughter's 7th birthday party was scheduled a week after the tragedy. While I was still in a coma, and our other daughter in Heaven, my wife had the strength to carry on and have the party for our little girl. She wanted her to have the best life she could, regardless of the tragedy. So that's the kind of strength she had. That summer while I was in the hospital, she was taking our daughter to girl scouts, camp, etc, and not letting this ruin her life. My wife is also a physical therapist which helped for sure. And yes, I was in a wheelchair for months. In between surgeries, while I was at home, she set up my drums...brought them in from the garage. Then I'd wheel over and try to hit the bass drum with the prosthetic foot.

I want you guys to know that we have a good life...out daughter is now 13 and very happy and successful in her life, we travel, do fun things, and deal with our other challenges. It's possible to miss and grieve the loss of a child still enjoy your life --- she would have wanted this for us. And it wouldn't be fair to our other kids to put ourselves in a depressed rut all the time. That's not to say I don't look forward to when I can see her again on the other side, but I have to do the best I can while I'm here.

Thank you --- and everyone --- for your kind posts.
Right in the feels. Thanks
 

bigiainw

Gold Member
After the death of our son at age 10, drumming was one of the things that kept me sane. Playing and recording at that time gave me periods of time when it was okay to think about something else for a change. The guys in the band were great- our first gig after he passed, the guitarist's wife made sure my wife and kids were looked after while we played; the guys in the band altered the words of Knockin' on Heaven's Door (we played it as the guitarist is from Dunblane) to reflect my son and his life and his specialness to all of us. The guitarist and I in the weeks following that gig recorded his solo album- he dedicated it to Dean. It all meant so much. Another musical mate wrote a song for Dean, about my relationship with him that touched many raw nerves.

The long and short of it was that music helped me go on when it was almost impossible to go on and move on to celebrate his life and not to dwell on his loss. I owe my musical life a huge debt for that. There is nothing worse than losing child. It is true however that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. We are past grieving his loss and now concentrate on remembering him fondly. He will always be part of our lives, regardless of where he is. My heartfelt condolences to you Drummer CA35 and your family.
 

A-customs

Silver Member
Thank you for sharing your story. Very inspiring,to say the least.I Have a daughter ,who is the light of my life,and cant imagine what you went thru.God Bless you.
 
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