Mad About Drums
Pollyanna's Agent
Great idea. You can do it for me!
Yes I could... but you said "tactfully", so I guess that counts me out.
Great idea. You can do it for me!
Anytime there is a dilemma like this, part of me wants to advise to let the people in question read this thread. You are being totally honest.
It's probably bad advise for reasons I'm not thinking of, but really, IMO total honesty is the only direction to go in. It's a respect thing, and something you'll never have to apologize to anyone for, unless it's just to soothe someone's feelings. Your goal is no regrets. Treat them and yourself with utmost respect.
First butter them up, and lay it on thick. Tell them how much you respect them as people and players and how thankful you are to them. How if it wasn't for them and their capable guidance, the Slingbacks wouldn't be who you are, blah blah blah. Be genuine though. Then basically recite the OP to them and ask them what to do, you need their help. Put them in the power position. Ask them how to move forward. I hate to say it like this but when you compliment someone really well, especially egocentric people...they are like putty in your hands. It's their kryptonite, they like to be put on a pedestal.
We're organising a rehearsal on Sunday, at which she is going to suggest that everybody commit to one date a month for a Singapore Slingbacks gig. If nothing is forthcoming within a specified time, the guitarists should be able to grab a gig at fairly short notice for their other band easily enough. She also thinks, not unreasonably IMO, that if the guitarists receive an enquiry for the date we have all agreed on, they should suggest the Slingbacks.
So you don't actually have the gigs, but you want them to block off the date? What happens if you can't fill that date for them? Do they just miss out on a night's pay? I would never reserve a date for a band without an actual gig, unless they are paying a retainer. That's a surefire way to lose players...
Why not keep them around and then get other players up to speed for the dates they can't make? If they consistently can't make gigs then you don't have to worry about it, and there won't be any hard feelings.
I'm glad it's working out.
I did have a quick question though that I don't think anyone has asked: What's the guitar player scene like where you live? Is there a nice pool of players that have the willingness and ability to play, or are there just a handful to pick from? No sense in letting someone go if there's no one else to take that person's place. Better to play a little than not at all.
Best of luck!
Yeah, the singer, bassist and I have talked about that and reached the exact same conclusion. The singer just wanted some sort of commitment from the guitarists, because we've never really had any. Their other band is always busy so obviously they have to put it first, and we don't mind coming second, but we are getting a bit pissed off with coming nowhere.
We are discussing possible deps as I type.
I suppose it is best done face to face - there's less chance of misinterpretation (and I can ply him with caek).
If I organise a rehearsal, that might actually prompt him to dip out, as he has a new baby.
Thanks to everybody for taking the time to reply. Hopefully I'll have a different guitarist to complain about before too long!
I don't understand why your band should have to come second.
It's the only thing guaranteed to work in my opinion. The rest is just putting off the inevitable and potentially buying misunderstanding and malice.
Personally (very much so) I think it's better done over the phone for all manner of reasons.
I don't think anything good can come from doing it face to face in person if I'm honest.
Guitarists? 10 a penny.
We are discussing possible deps as I type.
Just because I've never heard the term, what are "deps"? I'm guessing from the context that they are substitutes/backups, but where does the term come from?
just curious
They use the word sub here in the Philly area.
You people are wack lol.
"Sub" sounds decidedly kinky.
Pot, kettle, lol.