Old people being cheated by their children

[C. Dave Run]

I told my parents I don't want any of their stuff. No vehicles, antiques, jewelry, nothing. I dont need their things (that I dont currently have anyhow) to remember them by.

No one has any money. I'm definitely not expecting any of that.

I also told them I hope they die together in some instantaneous event like a plane crash. That way neither one has to be alone.

 

[Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX]

It has. It's way worse than ever. Started getting that way when one's mere existence became reason for high self esteem. "The world is a better place because of you" vs. "Is the world a better place because of you?" The ladder is frowned upon!

yep,, I have thought for a long while now that when it changed from "We The People" to "I The Person", things were going to fall apart. I think my generation - GenX - is the one who started all off that....

 

[Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX]

This may be an unpopular post, but it's relevant to consider that the parents raised the children. That doesn't make them fully responsible for how their adult children behave in the world but it's certainly a significant relevant factor.

dude....THIS is not only THE KERNEL of all the problems in America, it is also a truth that most people can't handle...

the parent is the ULTIMATE and FIRST teacher. All children's mannerisms, reactions to stimuli etc are formed in the first 3mos to 2 years BY WHAT THEY SEE AND HEAR THEIR PARENTS doing, ,and by the amount of emotional attachment that is experienced. Everythign else after those formative years is just bandaging mental wounds and preventing more damage....

as a middle school teacher, I live in the detritus of bad parenting and poor societal decisions EVERY DAY!!!!

 

[GretschedHive]

yep,, I have thought for a long while now that when it changed from "We The People" to "I The Person", things were going to fall apart. I think my generation - GenX - is the one who started all off that....

This Gen Xer feels obligated to point out that the Baby Boomers were literally called The Me Generation. So that if our generation indeed started thinking of "I the Person" rather than "We the People," it's because we were looking at what we were being handed and realizing that we were likely going to be on our own. We didn't decide "I the Person" was preferable—we decided it had become reality and we had no choice.

Meanwhile, as the father of Millennials and GenZers, I'm pleased to note it seems that they realize that "We the People" is a much stronger way to approach problems.

 

[GretschedHive]

My parents were born during the Great Depression and, although young, it affected them and their outlook for their entire lives. So they not only saved like madmen, but found it hard to spend on themselves; my dad just turned 89, and his entire life he's still had only one brand new car...and it was in the late 1950s, after he got out of the army and before he got married. Since then every car he's ever bought has been used.

it’s always puzzled me why wealthier people don’t share their fortune with their kids while they’re alive to see them benefit from and enjoy it. No offence to our older members, but what’s the point of your kids inheriting a stack load of money when they’re in their late 50’s/60’s?!

For years, he and my mom said they were going to start giving away money to their kids and grandkids, rather than wait and let them inherit when the kids were themselves close to retirement age. But the Great Depression really had its hooks in my mom, and she just never trusted she wouldn't run out of money if she did that. (I should note that my folks were comfortable but definitely not truly wealthy and they got hit pretty hard by the 2008 crash.)

Meanwhile, with my own kids, when one of them does something which displeases me (something heinous like not bringing me another slice of pizza, say), I threaten to put them back in my will. (The joke being that there's going to be so little to inherit that the debts and hassle will be all that's left for them...and it's not much of a joke, alas.)

 

[AzHeat]

We know a couple of school teachers. They both like to say “meet the parent, meet the problem.” A family member used to give us her superior opinions all the time, effectively shutting down any ideas we tried to convey. She was always right. Fast forward 10 years, and she’s now married, has the same superior ideas and a daughter her grandmother doesn’t even want to be around.

Her whole mothering methodology has been to build her daughters self esteem to the highest level possible. For what? Because she’s exceeded the maximum volume for throwing tantrums? A neighbor down the street had the same method to her parenting. One day her 10 year old daughter had the nerve to lecture me about water usage when I was washing my car. Mind you it was on a nozzle I controlled and not an open hose. She completely excused how many gallons a day they wasted in evaporation a day. I was so tempted to cool her jets with my “controlled nozzle” you have no idea.

Pretty sure when it’s time, both of these poster children for self esteem will rob their parents blind too. After all, the world revolves around them.

 

[C. Dave Run]

One day her 10 year old daughter had the nerve to lecture me about water usage when I was washing my car.

This is when you talk over the child's head. Politely explain to her that the earth is a closed system and you arent actually wasting water. Water neither comes nor goes, it just recycles itself. The water she drinks out of the faucet is the same water dinosaurs used to poop in. So effectively, she drinks dinosaur poop water.

Let her take that home to her mother.

 

[AzHeat]

This is when you talk over the child's head. Politely explain to her that the earth is a closed system and you arent actually wasting water. Water neither comes nor goes, it just recycles itself. The water she drinks out of the faucet is the same water dinosaurs used to poop in. So effectively, she drinks dinosaur poop water.

Let her take that home to her mother.

Damn, I wish I was faster. Would have loved to see her shuffle off screaming!

 

[cbphoto]

Evil comes in all ages.

Soon after my maternal grandmother died, my grandfather (a USMC Colonel with the Navajo Code Talkers) was seduced by a woman, Lottie Jay, who closed his life off from his friends & family. It was so bad, some of the Marines my grandfather served with wrote letters to my mother about the dire situation. Nothing changed. She didn’t want any of his descendants in her house, and she sure didn’t want his only grandson in the house. There was a period of about a year where my mother would take me to his home for him to babysit me (I was 6 years old), and when he wasn’t there Lottie Jay would force me to stay in the living room and wait—for hours—for my parents to fetch me. I was even afraid to pee. When my parents arrived to pick me up, she’d lie to their faces about what a great time we had. It was my first known encounter with a psychopath and I was too young to realize it.

When my grandfather died, she stole away the night of his burial, taking everything of value. His USMC saber and uniforms, medals & awards, his life savings, his 1965 Corvette Stingray. When we got to his house the following day, there was nothing except furniture and tattered clothes in the house. Not even a single photograph was left behind.

Fast-forward to 2010 (forty years after gramps died). I’m at the Fort Rosecrans Veterans Cemetery in San Diego. I go look up his gravesite. Kinda neat. I remember all the good times we had, think about his influence on me, etc. After some pleasant musings I walk around to the backside of the headstone to see “Lottie Jay” engraved on the back. I red line, pop a few blood vessels. I call one of my uncles (in his 70s) and ask him where his mother is buried. “Rosecrans” he says. Nope. I send him a photo and he red lines, pops a few blood vessels. It turns out, no one knows where my maternal grandmother is buried. But everyone knows where Lottie Jay is buried.

 

[Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX]

We know a couple of school teachers. They both like to say “meet the parent, meet the problem.”

this is pretty much it!! Not more needs to be said....

Evil comes in all ages.

Soon after my maternal grandmother died, my grandfather (a USMC Colonel with the Navajo Code Talkers) was seduced by a woman, Lottie Jay, who closed his life off from his friends & family. It was so bad, some of the Marines my grandfather served with wrote letters to my mother about the dire situation. Nothing changed. She didn’t want any of his descendants in her house, and she sure didn’t want his only grandson in the house. There was a period of about a year where my mother would take me to his home for him to babysit me (I was 6 years old), and when he wasn’t there Lottie Jay would force me to stay in the living room and wait—for hours—for my parents to fetch me. I was even afraid to pee. When my parents arrived to pick me up, she’d lie to their faces about what a great time we had. It was my first known encounter with a psychopath and I was too young to realize it.

When my grandfather died, she stole away the night of his burial, taking everything of value. His USMC saber and uniforms, medals & awards, his life savings, his 1965 Corvette Stingray. When we got to his house the following day, there was nothing except furniture and tattered clothes in the house. Not even a single photograph was left behind.

Fast-forward to 2010 (forty years after gramps died). I’m at the Fort Rosecrans Veterans Cemetery in San Diego. I go look up his gravesite. Kinda neat. I remember all the good times we had, think about his influence on me, etc. After some pleasant musings I walk around to the backside of the headstone to see “Lottie Jay” engraved on the back. I red line, pop a few blood vessels. I call one of my uncles (in his 70s) and ask him where his mother is buried. “Rosecrans” he says. Nope. I send him a photo and he red lines, pops a few blood vessels. It turns out, no one knows where my maternal grandmother is buried. But everyone knows where Lottie Jay is buried.

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this story is just awful!!! I am glad that you had some memories and that he influenced you in a positive way before the "change"

I hope Lottie Jay died by herself - cold, alone, in a ditch in a car wreck, one injury for each dastardly thing she did, - in the middle of nowhere

 

[Bewildered Beast]

I have no sympathy for people who get nothing from their parents. It was never their money and it was never their right to have it. Let them work for it.

In a perfect world we would have 100% death tax - the alternative just perpetuates the inequality of wealth that exists in every country.

 

[Chris Whitten]

This is ONE dark discussion.
Happy Thanksgiving (giving!) and Seasons Greetings to you all. Maybe read 'A Christmas Carol' over the holidays.

 

[Chris Whitten]

In a perfect world we would have 100% death tax - the alternative just perpetuates the inequality of wealth that exists in every country.

I've already written my will. I have no children but I'm leaving some money (as well as some valuables) to my two nieces. That is MY choice.
The bulk of my money (and house) is going to my partner, if she lives on after me. At the point of her death whatever is left ALL goes to eco charities, animal rescue etc. NO I don't want my money to be 100% taxed, I want it to go towards wildlife, the environment and dog rescue.

 

[A J]

I've already written my will. I have no children but I'm leaving some money (as well as some valuables) to my two nieces. That is MY choice.
The bulk of my money (and house) is going to my partner, if she lives on after me. At the point of her death whatever is left ALL goes to eco charities, animal rescue etc. NO I don't want my money to be 100% taxed, I want it to go towards wildlife, the environment and dog rescue.

Agreed. My wife and I feel the same way. We have no kids. Charities are gonna love us! 😉

 

[A J]

I have no sympathy for people who get nothing from their parents. It was never their money and it was never their right to have it. Let them work for it.

In a perfect world we would have 100% death tax - the alternative just perpetuates the inequality of wealth that exists in every country.

I'm a strong advocate for "inequality of weath" and have worked very hard, saved and sacrificed to make this a reality. 😉

But seriously, it's a nice feeling to be able pass on your life's savings and possessions to a deserving charity or person.

I'm still shocked at how often I encounter adult children who squeeze money out of their elderly parents till the day they die.

 

[C. Dave Run]

I'm still shocked at how often I encounter adult children who squeeze money out of their elderly parents till the day they die.

There is definitely a flip side to that coin. My poor nephew is getting robbed blind by his mom and grandma. They dont work, draw 3 checks between the two of them, and never have any money. My nephew turns over his paycheck for bills and mortgage so no one ends up homeless.

 

[cbphoto]

Meanwhile, the Brits have spiffy-looking princesses! What’s next? Unicorns?

 

[Chris Whitten]

What is the relevance?

 

[cbphoto]

What is the relevance?

The passing along of wealth. I’m enamored/curious with the whole “royalty” thing. And she really is beautiful, like a unicorn, the way she stood out amongst everyone else.

 

[C. Dave Run]

The passing along of wealth. I’m enamored/curious with the whole “royalty” thing.

Same here. It's quite fascinating. And super confusing.

And she really is beautiful, like a unicorn, the way she stood out amongst everyone else.

She almost doesnt fit it. That's not meant to be insulting.

I wanna know about the pendants she is wearing, and if there is a significance to their being on her left, as well as that color blue.