Funk
Member
no one in my family sees this as a problem… but my fiancee used to like my playing, enjoyed my stories about playing shows, and talking about music… i didn't subject her to any of these on a regular basis, so its not like that's all i do or talk about… quite to the contrary. now she gets disgusted if she walks into the living room and i've got a drumming dvd on, or i'm on the pad with an instructional booklet, or packing up the car to go play in the park (my furnishings take up the space in my apt, so i gotta play out… for now). it's really pissing me off. i've tried getting to the bottom of it and keeping my cool... she won't budge. i've told her i can help her get out of the rut she's in (she has depression, but she's fine on her meds, which she takes- more on that tho). her friends tried to lecture me… saying i need to do whatever it takes to make her happy, and if my drumming is making her unhappy, then i should know what to do. i told them i've been a musician since age six, and that that kind of advice was extremely unhealthy and not welcomed, so i asked them to leave before i got even more pissed. i told my fiancee that this is something i will not compromise on, and that she's just in a bad way emotionally, and that i think she's just taking it out on me (her work has been very stressful, i've put more effort into being extra helpful and giving her recognition, something she's not getting at work, even though she works hard)… anyway i think she's developed a tolerance to her meds, because this is so unlike her… and that's what i told my fiancee and her friends… i told her friends today that they were shitty people for enabling this hostility in our relationship, instead of trying to solve this problem for someone i thought they cared deeply about, they just jumped on her bandwagon and started coming down on me too! i am the only one looking at this from a medical/emotional health standpoint, and yet they are still coming down on me for not giving up the drums. we are making ends meet, we're just broke afterward… so i talked to my mom about paying the co pay for a psychiatrist visit, to see if she can get her meds straight… thankfully my fiancee is open to it, because she knows her behavior has shifted, her friends though keep fanning the flames… i can't wait to shut them the F up… those squaking little manipulators are gonna be put into check real quick! anyway… what advice do you guys have?