Low class attitude from a wedding band.

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
Oblio didn't have a point but he made a point. Maybe they drove a long distance and were just to hungry to perform LOL. Man if my blood sugar gets to low I'm a freaking bear till I eat. I'm like frantic to eat something. My wife and kids can always tell when I get low on fuel. Then I'm good to go. Wait not saying I ate my wife and kids-just I ate something. Just to be clear.
 

K Chez

Member
Who eats right before playing?
And if I'm driving a long distance and it hasn't been arranged that we'll be fed, it's my responsibility to take care of that before I arrive, not to use it as an excuse for shitty behavior.
 

PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
Who eats right before playing?
This was actually one of my fleeting thoughts. Who would want to pig out before a big show?

I know that this is an assumption, but I could just see in the chaos of everything someone saying something like, "Oh, are y'all the band? Y'all are supposed to go eat..." and then leading them to the kitchen, not knowing that they are the wrong band. Weddings are crazy and nutty things happen at just about every one of them. Weddings are a "hope for the best but expect the worst" sort of scenario just about every time.
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
I guess you dont play live much to understand what goes on, thats what im not buying.
You'll have to forgive me. My reflexes have slowed with age and my knee-jerk reaction times have suffered as a result.

It will happen to you too. I assume you're very young.
 

Chunkaway

Silver Member
You'll have to forgive me. My reflexes have slowed with age and my knee-jerk reaction times have suffered as a result.

It will happen to you too. I assume you're very young.
Would be nice for you to acknowledge that perhaps you were quick to doubt? I’m not young, but your reaction seemed particularly doubtful. Struck me as someone who doesn’t trust people. But that is just me.
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
Would be nice for you to acknowledge that perhaps you were quick to doubt? I’m not young, but your reaction seemed particularly doubtful. Struck me as someone who doesn’t trust people. But that is just me.
I absolutely own it and fully embrace the fact that I was quick to doubt.

In truth, what I did was to reserve judgement and ask for more information. It's a fine distinction but I think it's an important one. I think I was pretty polite about it, too.

I would apologize if I was being a d*ck but I think I'm being respectful to all parties. I'm not taking sides either - there's just not enough information here for me to do that. I'm simply saying that there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened.
 

Jasta 11

Well-known member
You'll have to forgive me. My reflexes have slowed with age and my knee-jerk reaction times have suffered as a result.

It will happen to you too. I assume you're very young.
no worries, just hard to have a conversation on here in real time.
 

Jasta 11

Well-known member
I will say we played a wedding in August that was 3 and a half hours away in Plymouth Mass ( i only add that because it was near the actual rock and that was a disappointment when i looked in the hole to see it) so we left 5 hours before start time, got there early, set up , went to a small pizza place for a slice and chilled out. We were not getting fed but they gave us ( twisted my arm) drinks and a take home container each of food. Its just being professional. This Saturday we are playing a wedding ( I swear we are not supposed to be a wedding band) and the guy is a very high end clothier. he said " if you guys need anything to wear for the wedding come down, no cost". we didn't take him up but we should have asked for matching gold lame jackets!! We are being fed too!!!!!
 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
Well let him vent-everyone needs to-holding that crap in will kill you. This place is great for such-this place kept me hanging on to a thread of sanity about a year ago as I was sitting around getting fat and depressed before a hernia repair. Ya know what's funny is my wife comes in and vents all kind of crap she deals with everyday working-I let her vent listening and maybe some supportive talk. But when I try to reciprocate and vent she gets all analytical often it seems against me like I'm in the wrong-which may well be but I"m venting and don't want to hear that crap now. Man that irks me-I just want her to listen as I vent-maybe share my frustration. But heck no I"m always in the wrong-which I guess may well be. Gee I'm venting now-see this place "saves lives "(in my best Jack Nicholson voice).
 

Chunkaway

Silver Member
I absolutely own it and fully embrace the fact that I was quick to doubt.

In truth, what I did was to reserve judgement and ask for more information. It's a fine distinction but I think it's an important one. I think I was pretty polite about it, too.

I would apologize if I was being a d*ck but I think I'm being respectful to all parties. I'm not taking sides either - there's just not enough information here for me to do that. I'm simply saying that there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened.
Fair enough. I try to take people at their word and then ask questions for clarification.
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
Fair enough. I try to take people at their word and then ask questions for clarification.
Oh, for sure. It's so much easier in person too. I'm not distrustful by default. Honestly.

Not to belabor the point but I employ this "alternate explanation theory" with strangers and unexpected events as a means of softening some of the hardness that I see everywhere. That car that went roaring past me in the right hand lane? My first reaction is to write the driver off as a jerk but maybe he got a phone call from school that his kid has been hurt and he's racing to emergency to meet his wife. It's a stretch, but it's possible.

Essentially, it's an extension of "put yourself in the other guy's shoes" and it really works for me. I give people the benefit of the doubt dozens of times per day and I feel mentally healthier for it. It doesn't cost me anything either.

I trust but verify when it comes to the important things, of course 😄
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
Ya know what's funny is my wife comes in and vents all kind of crap she deals with everyday working-I let her vent listening and maybe some supportive talk. But when I try to reciprocate and vent she gets all analytical often it seems against me like I'm in the wrong-which may well be but I"m venting and don't want to hear that crap now. Man that irks me-I just want her to listen as I vent-maybe share my frustration. But heck no I"m always in the wrong-which I guess may well be.
I might sound like a troglodyte but your wife probably wants you to be her rock. It might make her nervous if she thinks that you get rattled by everyday stuff.

I'd save the venting for your buddies. No need to hold things in but maybe pick your spots differently...
 

One Up One Down

Senior Member
Not to belabor the point but I employ this "alternate explanation theory" with strangers and unexpected events as a means of softening some of the hardness that I see everywhere. That car that went roaring past me in the right hand lane? My first reaction is to write the driver off as a jerk but maybe he got a phone call from school that his kid has been hurt and he's racing to emergency to meet his wife. It's a stretch, but it's possible.
I do this too -- works very well
 

beatdat

Senior Member
Essentially, it's an extension of "put yourself in the other guy's shoes" and it really works for me. I give people the benefit of the doubt dozens of times per day and I feel mentally healthier for it. It doesn't cost me anything either.
There's a word for this, it's called "sonder", defined as "the profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it." (from a Google search).

It can take some time to wrap one's head around this concept, but it does ultimately allow you to not overreact to, or prejudge, a situation or person that you are not familiar with.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Not to belabor the point but I employ this "alternate explanation theory" with strangers and unexpected events as a means of softening some of the hardness that I see everywhere. That car that went roaring past me in the right hand lane? My first reaction is to write the driver off as a jerk but maybe he got a phone call from school that his kid has been hurt and he's racing to emergency to meet his wife. It's a stretch, but it's possible.

Essentially, it's an extension of "put yourself in the other guy's shoes" and it really works for me. I give people the benefit of the doubt dozens of times per day and I feel mentally healthier for it. It doesn't cost me anything either.
I might sound like a troglodyte but your wife probably wants you to be her rock. It might make her nervous if she thinks that you get rattled by everyday stuff.

I'd save the venting for your buddies. No need to hold things in but maybe pick your spots differently...
I concur with both instances. I also think that people have emergencies when they drive poorly. I don't know what they are facing. Being rattled...is not an option for me. Also anytime someone calls someone else an idiot...that to me usually shows a colossal abundance of self righteousness and a poor sense of empathy.

I am also the recipient of vent exhaust on a daily basis. If I need to vent I do it here. Being the rock to me means that I don't vent to the people who need me to be their rock. It's not in anyone's best interest when that happens, so I take it elsewhere.
 
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