Low class attitude from a wedding band.

Jasta 11

Well-known member
Just a rant mainly but yesterday we played a wedding where we were one of two band scheduled. Its the first time i've seen where there were 2 but whatever. So we did the ceremony( acoustic songs as they walked the isle and then the cocktail hour and MC's the introductions 3 hours total.. The other band was scheduled for 6 pm ( keep that in mind) in the large tent by the dance floor etc. the usual wedding setup we were on property but not near that tent.. So, in the contract we were getting food which is always nice. they told us to go to the kitchen to receive the food. We go into the house at 5 minutes to 6 and there is the other band, who was not supposed to be fed we were later told by a pissed off staff, sitting there eating large plates from the buffet. These guys, and girl, were the very first people in line when the food was being put out, and to keep it scummy, they had grabbed plates and silverware from someones table!! Also remember 6pm start for them, well they didn't finish eating till 6:40 then wet to the stage. We ate from the kitchen and by the way got pasta with salmon, NOT the filet and all the really good stuff that was at the buffet. How can a wedding band, and per their website that's what they mostly are, act like that? Who eats first at a wedding buffet line when in your contract it states you are not being fed, and then starts 40 min late? AND gets more gigs????? Rant over.
 

Old Dog new Cans

Senior Member
They just sound like a bunch of thoughtless asshats to me. Jeez. Must be such a special group of musicians to eat first at a wedding they haven't even performed at yet. D-bags.
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
Playing the Devil's Advocate but there may be more to the story than what's presented here.

Perhaps the band was told to eat by someone in a position of authority. After all, if you're playing at 6 pm then you probably need to arrive by 4:30 - 5:00 in order to set up and sound check which means (depending on the distance to the venue) you've packed the car and hit the road in the late afternoon. If you're playing through the dinner hour and into the night, when the heck are you SUPPOSED to have dinner? Is it reasonable to feed the headliner sandwiches and coffee later in the night when the opening act gets a dinner buffet? Something doesn't sound right to me.

And, no offense intended but I don't see how the OP or the kitchen staff could be privy to the details of the other band's contract. Now if the Bride or Groom were annoyed THAT would be a different story altogether. I don't see that here.

I think there's more to the story than meets the eye.
 

oldskoolsoul

Silver Member
..If you're playing through the dinner hour and into the night, when the heck are you SUPPOSED to have dinner? Is it reasonable to feed the headliner sandwiches and coffee later in the night when the opening act gets a dinner buffet?..

..And, no offense intended but I don't see how the OP or the kitchen staff could be privy to the details of the other band's contract..

I think the kitchen staff will always be informed about who comes to eat and who not and people who 'demand' in some sort of way dinner at 6pm should not go play in such a band (or basically any band for that matter)..

I played at 100's of weddings and, regarding dinner, thats in some cases being offered and especially at weddings almost never stated in a contract..

But, even if food would have been offered to them, then for sure you are a complete antisocial moron when you go first in line while grabbing plates and silverware from the nearest table..

Way too much of such wedding band musicians think that they are really important and that they really need this and that in order to perform a little ok..
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
I think the kitchen staff will always be informed about who comes to eat and who not and people who 'demand' in some sort of way dinner at 6pm should not go play in such a band (or basically any band for that matter)..

I played at 100's of weddings and, regarding dinner, thats in some cases being offered and especially at weddings almost never stated in a contract..

But, even if food would have been offered to them, then for sure you are a complete antisocial moron when you go first in line while grabbing plates and silverware from the nearest table..

Way too much of such wedding band musicians think that they are really important and that they really need this and that in order to perform a little ok..
You may be right but I think we're missing a huge part of the story.

Presumably, this is a band of professionals who do this regularly (hence the website and the OP's admission that this is what they "mostly are") and as those of us who do corporate and wedding gigs know, reputation is everything in this business. Good references are CRITICAL.

The image of a bunch of uncalibrated, socially inept musicians pigging out after having manipulated their way to the head of the line doesn't fly with me. And nobody tried to stop them? The kitchen staff knew it was wrong but did it anyway? Nobody in the wedding party said or did a thing?

I'm not buying it. We're missing some key facts here.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Maybe the band in question knows the B&G really well and can get away with it. That's possible.

BTW, how were they?
 
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oldskoolsoul

Silver Member
..And nobody tried to stop them? The kitchen staff knew it was wrong but did it anyway? Nobody in the wedding party said or did a thing?..

Well, taking some food is not the same as commiting an armed robbery..😄

But yes, could be that we miss a few additional facts, but then still musicians who complain (or have demands) about food before a gig annoy me a lot, because examples like these i have seen quite a lot..
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
Well, taking some food is not the same as commiting an armed robbery..😄

But yes, could be that we miss a few additional facts, but then still musicians who complain (or have demands) about food before a gig annoy me a lot, because examples like these i have seen quite a lot..
Understandable. This could ruin the band's reputation in a heartbeat if they're doxxed, however. I just think we owe it to them (as fellow musicians) to get to the bottom of the story.

Perhaps it's unfounded but I sometimes worry that somebody will take something relatively benign, strip it of context and then post about it on the Internet. Imagine all of the manufactured outrage and protest that could result from that?

I mean, it hasn't happened yet but can you imagine if it did? :unsure:
 

Peedy

Senior Member
I get the rant. Plus I’ve witnessed plenty of stuff like that before. But to add some balance, I’ve also later heard that some of those guys had been going way too long between meals.

I hope all of the ones you’re talking about are just named Richard.
 

dmacc_2

Well-known member
Interesting... Never know who said what to who. However, that doesn't negate the classless behavior.

I've played 1000's of private parties (weddings, corporate gigs, rich people's social gatherings, etc..). I can tell you that over that 18 year period, I was probably only fed 10-20 times. The pay was always great which is why I did it for so long.

The times we were fed at weddings, we were always the last to eat and were generally fed in the back kitchen. I specifically recall a couple of times we were reminded we were not to eat and observed some of the remaining food being tossed in the garbage.

The times we were fed at rich people's homes / social gatherings, we were treated like royalty however and they couldn't through enough food at us.

Overall I personally never cared either way because I never desired to eat in between sets.
 
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Bo Eder

Platinum Member
As was already stated, nobody really has the full story here, so I'm not sure anyone can comment on behavior displayed. I just adhere to my part of the contract and do my best to make the client happy. If I do that, then I'm good. There could be a very good explanation why they were first in line? They could be related to the client? Who knows?
 

No Way Jose

Silver Member
Their behavior does seem rude to me. Some people might give all musicians a bad reputation. We are not all rude.
 

trickg

Silver Member
Getting fed is in the rider to our contract - it's not specified what we get fed, only THAT we get fed. With that said, we've gotten meals that are all over the spectrum - everything from the high end surf and turf the that the wedding guests were getting, to pizza and coke, boxed lunches with sandwiches, etc. It just depends. We played two events this weekend (neither one was a wedding - one was a banquet for a women's athletic department at a college, the other was a concert) and we got pizza and drinks for both.

One time we played a wedding at Oakmont Country Club in Oakmont, Pennsylvania. For those who may not be familiar, this is where the US Open Golf Tournament is sometimes played - it's a pretty nice, high class venue. For that gig we literally got baloney sandwiches (seriously - two slices of bread, two slices of baloney - nothing else.) a big bowl of stale potato chips, and some warm cans of soda. They stuck us in this dingy little room - I think it was the janitor's lounge - in the basement. Considering we're the ones who made the party and kept everyone on the dance floor, it seemed pretty thankless, but to be fair, they did meet the requirements of the contract rider.

There are times where we are fed from the same buffet - that can be cool, but we always defer to the wedding guests - typically they have already been through the buffet line by the time we get there.

We're not getting hired as much as we used to these days, and although it's probably pretty complex as to why we aren't getting booked, I think part of it is due to the same kind of low-class mentality mentioned in the first post. We're suffering thanks to the poor reputation bands get based on the thoughtless actions of a few bands like the one mentioned above.
 

mikyok

Platinum Member
I've seen some beauts in my time doing functions. We have a contract and stick to it religiously, it covers our backsides which is the main thing. You don't know what was in their contract or why they were late going on stage. Happens to us all the time and has never been our fault.

Does strike me as very rude though.

We get fed at most of the gigs we do, usually half time buffet but never do we go first in the chow line.

Sounds to me like the venue were weak and wouldn't say anything.
 

Jasta 11

Well-known member
Sorry for the late reply, damn work...anyway, when playing weddings for anyone who doesnt know, you deal with the wedding planner, not the bridal party. You meet them day of most time for the first time and they are your point of contact for the whole thing. they tell you where to set up, when to start, all that. The band is not part of the wedding. We are not there as a "plus one" one or "and guest"we dont hang out at the bar, we dont sit with the guests ( we have but off to the side). People talk to use etc but then we move away and hang in the parking lot or another room in the venue. . This wedding planner was going ballistic ( to us) about this situation. Yes First hand she told us everything and how crappy it was but its not like she could say to them your fired. her hands are tied and this band took full advantage of that. whole story they were signed on for no meals so to grab plates from a table was as low as it gets even at a barbecue. Our contracts, as well as the photographers we usually meet state meal or not. If its 300 bucks a plate, thats paid for by the bridal party and counted by the caterer just like the guests attending.not paid by us so we understand if meals are not supplied and we eat before or after ( its like any other 3 hour gig) we dont ask for meals at the clubs we play so im not sure what people dont understand on here. . it isnt free food for the band just because we are working there. Its always a huge plus when we eat ( and drink) at weddings though.
 

Jasta 11

Well-known member
You may be right but I think we're missing a huge part of the story.

Presumably, this is a band of professionals who do this regularly (hence the website and the OP's admission that this is what they "mostly are") and as those of us who do corporate and wedding gigs know, reputation is everything in this business. Good references are CRITICAL.

The image of a bunch of uncalibrated, socially inept musicians pigging out after having manipulated their way to the head of the line doesn't fly with me. And nobody tried to stop them? The kitchen staff knew it was wrong but did it anyway? Nobody in the wedding party said or did a thing?

I'm not buying it. We're missing some key facts here.
Well i thought they were professional but they we less than amateur with their behavior. The staff in the kitchen thought they had served the band and when we went in and were surprised that the band that just played wasn't the band sitting there eating. Not sure why there were 2 bands but whatever. Im not sure what your not buying?the wedding planner didnt know until she saw them eating and no they didnt have permission to eat. I guess you dont play live much to understand what goes on, thats what im not buying.
 

Mustion

Senior Member
Any time I play a wedding or other similar event I find it helps to consider myself "the help" just like the catering staff, etc. Helps to keep one in line when it comes to these kind of etiquette situations!

Although the OP seemed to find the two-band deal odd, I regularly play that sort of setup; I am not in a cover band but a more niche band which certain clients want but means we usually end up as the cocktail hour "eat to the beat" entertainment. More often than not the bartenders and/or catering staff will take care of us when all of the guests have moved on to the dinner segment of the reception. Works for me.
 

Steady Freddy

Pioneer Member
Just a rant mainly but yesterday we played a wedding where we were one of two band scheduled. Its the first time i've seen where there were 2 but whatever. So we did the ceremony( acoustic songs as they walked the isle and then the cocktail hour and MC's the introductions 3 hours total.. The other band was scheduled for 6 pm ( keep that in mind) in the large tent by the dance floor etc. the usual wedding setup we were on property but not near that tent.. So, in the contract we were getting food which is always nice. they told us to go to the kitchen to receive the food.
OK you played your gig and got fed as per your contract, Great!!

We go into the house at 5 minutes to 6 and there is the other band, who was not supposed to be fed we were later told by a pissed off staff, sitting there eating large plates from the buffet. These guys, and girl, were the very first people in line when the food was being put out, and to keep it scummy, they had grabbed plates and silverware from someones table!!
Not your problem, The staff should have dealt with this,

Also remember 6pm start for them, well they didn't finish eating till 6:40 then wet to the stage.
OK the other band started late. Not your problem,

We ate from the kitchen and by the way got pasta with salmon, NOT the filet and all the really good stuff that was at the buffet. How can a wedding band, and per their website that's what they mostly are, act like that? Who eats first at a wedding buffet line when in your contract it states you are not being fed, and then starts 40 min late? AND gets more gigs????? Rant over.
I guess I'm trying to figure out is what impact this had on you or your band, obviously it bothered you, but I learned a long time ago to worry about things I can control and not to worry about things I can't.
 
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