SquadLeader
Gold Member
Gave notice to my bandmates yesterday that I'm leaving the band. We've been together for roughly 10 years. And we've become really good friends. Over the past couple of years things have become more and more of a toil. I love gigging. A couple of the other lads love making videos and recording. The gigging was getting shoved more and more aside. In short drumming even in a 'weekend warrior' band is not easy work and the cons were beginning to outweigh the pros.
I got dicked around a couple of days back on a really good gig I'd sorted. Diary was free. I'd checked with the lads anyhow. Then, having firmed everything up, the dreaded "wedding I'd forgotten all about" came up. I calmly said "no problem, these things happen". Then decided what really wanky excuse I could come up with to save myself from looking like a real dick with the organiser. And at that point I decided "that's it".
Gave it a couple of days, to allow my anger to melt away. To decide in the cold light of day whether leaving was what I reall want. Still felt the same.
The lads are devastated. They never saw it coming. But the strings section are a bit like ostriches for sticking their heads in the sand. We had a 'band meeting' start of the year where, despite everything going in a little bit of a downward spiral we all reaffirmed that we'd commit to getting things going again. Nothing's changed since.
Here's the thing. The singer has now messaged everyone to say that he doesn't want to go on with it sans-me. I've tried to explain to them that whilst it's going to be hard to source a new drummer, that I'm happy to play remaining fixtures this year until they do so. I'm not even a good drummer. I think it's a case of we've all become so close, that the singer, and perhaps also the bass player, could not see the scenario where the band continues without the current format.
The bass player has now basically followed suit. He initially offered to walk (as he feels he's the main reason for most of the problems - he's actually right). But the issues we have run even deeper than that, as I explained.
Here's the rub. This has all made me fall into this really weirdly deep depression. I booked the day off work today because I don't want to go out and face the world. Is this normal? I've left bands before, but I think perhaps the difference is all previous bands were a) shite and b) had run their course. This band was different. Best I've ever been in. And almost certainly the last band I'll ever play in. We all got on. The music was great. But for all manner of reasons it had simply reached a natural expiry date for me personally.
Wife asked me how I felt last night. I stated that I feel like I'd probably feel if she and I separated right now, today.
I also feel that I, personally, with one fell swoop of my hand, have destroyed the band for everyone. Absolutely gutting.
In short, I feel bloody awful this morning.
I got dicked around a couple of days back on a really good gig I'd sorted. Diary was free. I'd checked with the lads anyhow. Then, having firmed everything up, the dreaded "wedding I'd forgotten all about" came up. I calmly said "no problem, these things happen". Then decided what really wanky excuse I could come up with to save myself from looking like a real dick with the organiser. And at that point I decided "that's it".
Gave it a couple of days, to allow my anger to melt away. To decide in the cold light of day whether leaving was what I reall want. Still felt the same.
The lads are devastated. They never saw it coming. But the strings section are a bit like ostriches for sticking their heads in the sand. We had a 'band meeting' start of the year where, despite everything going in a little bit of a downward spiral we all reaffirmed that we'd commit to getting things going again. Nothing's changed since.
Here's the thing. The singer has now messaged everyone to say that he doesn't want to go on with it sans-me. I've tried to explain to them that whilst it's going to be hard to source a new drummer, that I'm happy to play remaining fixtures this year until they do so. I'm not even a good drummer. I think it's a case of we've all become so close, that the singer, and perhaps also the bass player, could not see the scenario where the band continues without the current format.
The bass player has now basically followed suit. He initially offered to walk (as he feels he's the main reason for most of the problems - he's actually right). But the issues we have run even deeper than that, as I explained.
Here's the rub. This has all made me fall into this really weirdly deep depression. I booked the day off work today because I don't want to go out and face the world. Is this normal? I've left bands before, but I think perhaps the difference is all previous bands were a) shite and b) had run their course. This band was different. Best I've ever been in. And almost certainly the last band I'll ever play in. We all got on. The music was great. But for all manner of reasons it had simply reached a natural expiry date for me personally.
Wife asked me how I felt last night. I stated that I feel like I'd probably feel if she and I separated right now, today.
I also feel that I, personally, with one fell swoop of my hand, have destroyed the band for everyone. Absolutely gutting.
In short, I feel bloody awful this morning.