Is it me or is this incredibly cheeky?

JT1

Silver Member
Hi guys + gals

Last night I had a gig at a local pub well (15 minutes away from my house).

It was us and another band playing.

Well silly me I forgot my cymbals and I told my bass player as he does the sound and supplies the kit, he then went and asked the drummer from the other band if I could use his which I didn't really want because I would have asked him myself. I asked him because he might have had the cymbals that came with the kit.

Anyways the drummer said no which is his right definitely and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all and it turns out my bass player only had a set of hi-hats which resulted in me driving back home to get mine and back again.

Anyways I'm minding my own business at the bar and the drummer from the other band walks up to me and asks if he can borrow my cymbal stand. To which I reply well I'm all for helping other drummers out with gear but it would have been nice to have some co-operation with the cymbals especially if he was planning on asking to use my stands. He turned around and said well they are £300 worth of gear and it wasn't his fault that I forgot the cymbals and you don't see guitarists lending their guitars out to other people. I replied it's your right to say no. But I just thought to myself is this guy for real?

He then asked me again if he could use it and I said well if you have enough to get by I'd rather not. Then in a huff he said 'Ok, no problem' and walked away abruptly.

Is it me or is this really cheeky, I can understand why he said no to me but then to ask if he could use something of mine is surely a piss take right?

Has anyone else had any experience like this?
 
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techristian

Senior Member
Yes it is !!...and he has a lot of NERVE too !!!


Definition: Cheeky - "Eee you cheeky monkey" was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid. Cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word. My licence plate on my MX5 (Miata in American) was CHEEKY, which most Texans thought was something to do with bottoms - wrong!!
 

specgrade

Senior Member
Cymbals Vs. cymbal stand...I don't know.

He didn't have any right to get mad when you turned him down. You were okay with him turning you down. That's about it really.

I am very protective of my cymbals and drums. Hardware, a little less.

Btw, I have seen other guitar players helping out their fellow guitarists with guitars, cables or amps.
 
F

Fishgopop007

Guest
I would have just said very simply, "You're not lending cymbals, I'm not lending cymbal stands."
 

jer

Silver Member
I wouldn't have hesitated to let him use the stand, although I would have jokingly given him a hard time about the cymbals.

Next thing you know your kick pedal goes down and he's the only other guy in the place who can help...
 

Naigewron

Platinum Member
I would probably have said yes to him borrowing my cymbal stand, but I completely understand you saying no (and I also completely share your reaction to his request; it was more than a little cheeky).

I would also have said no to anyone borrowing my cymbals (and have done so on a couple of occasions), but then there would be no way I'd ask them to lend me something afterwards.
 

alparrott

Platinum Member
I ally myself with the general sentiment of the page.

In an isolated circumstance, letting another drummer borrow a stand requires no thought at all, they're pretty much made to be indestructible. I also am extremely reluctant to let others borrow my cymbals (having witnessed firsthand the low regard that some drummers have for other people's prized instruments).

But in this situation, I don't think the guy did himself any favors. This is why I have a checklist that I use at home before I leave, so that I very very rarely find myself in this sort of position.
 

Pass.of.E.r.a.

Gold Member
I wouldn't have hesitated to let him use the stand, although I would have jokingly given him a hard time about the cymbals.

Next thing you know your kick pedal goes down and he's the only other guy in the place who can help...
That's very true! And probably what I'd do.

-Jonathan
 

Coldhardsteel

Gold Member
My hardware is nearly indestructible, so I wouldn't have really had a problem with lending him a stand.

Cymbals break and crack, and I wouldn't feel completely comfortable letting someone else use my cymbals either. But if I denied someone that help I wouldn't ask something of them.

A drummer at this jam I frequent takes down his splash after he's done playing his set with the house band and lets every other drummer play on everything else he has. The way he explained it, if he cracked a cymbal, it was on him, but if someone else cracked a cymbal, it was on them. It would be quite a predicament if something like that happened.
 

caddywumpus

Platinum Member
Cheeky, yes.

I would have let him borrow the stand and given him crap, jokingly, about not letting my borrow his cymbals, too. If I was REALLY vindictive, I would have quickly modified said stand to be unstable and wish for it to fall during the set...
 

Otto

Platinum Member
NEVER loan or borrow equipment.

"Rent From" or "Rent To"....yes...with lawyer approved written contracting.

Always show at your appointments a little early with proper equipment and resonable replacements(heads,BD Pedal,sticks,throne,snare,HH Stand - imagine your main kit evaporates and you want to pull off the appointment...and duplicate those pieces)

Bring fluids...and for long appointments...food...and change of cloths...and toothbrush(be ready to meet your big break after each bathroom visit).

Allocate time after you are done with the appointment for business schmoozing.

Treat everyone, including abusive jerks, with basic respect...but honor your limits and walk away when appropriate.

Think and act like a businessman and you will get business.
 

DrumEatDrum

Platinum Member
I see the difference.

Cymbal: Highly personal choice of sound, subject to breakage.

Cymbal stand: No one cares what the stand sounds like, and very difficult to break.

But I get your point, if he is unwilling to help you out, it's crazy to think he would then ask to borrow something.
 

incudrummer

Junior Member
As was stated before, it is entirely your right to not want to borrow out your gear, but if you had let him borrow your stand, then hey, you've got yourself a new friend in the music business.
 

Pocket-full-of-gold

Platinum Member
I would have let him borrow the stand and given him crap, jokingly, about not letting my borrow his cymbals, too.
So would I......mercilessly.......and I mean a good old fashioned, non-stop Aussie barrage too. In fact, I would have shamed him into giving me his drink rider whilst I was at it. :)

On the other hand. If I'd just knocked you back on borrowing my cymbals, I wouldn't have had the hide to ask for a stand either.

That said, it's a fair cop. I don't think you were unreasonable by not lending your stand either.
 

JT1

Silver Member
Well I did feel bad afterwards for not lending it cause I hate conflict or even saying no to anyone.

I once told a drummer that he must bring 4 things to the gig; snare, stool, pedal and cymbals.

He didn't bring a stool or a pedal and I ended up lending him a cymbal too. I am usually not too bad about lending people breakables and just sometimes it would be nice to receive the same courtesy even though every drummer has the right to refuse to lend out their gear and I have started doing this a lot more now.

Bull: No I didn't. I was responsible for bringing my stands, stool, snare, pedal and cymbals. There's a lot there and sometimes even though not very often I forget something.

Jer: You're absolutely right about that the thing is, he was using the house pedal that was supplied with the kit so I could have just used that if the worst came to the worst.

Coldhardsteel: I completely agree with you about breaking cymbals, like everyone here I am really reluctant about lending out cymbals especially to people I don't know. And a stand is a stand I have no problem lending these out but I just thought it was rude and I was annoyed about it.

The guy actually said to me he was going to bring more stands, I should have said to him well why didn't you? lol so he knew he was going to have to ask me to borrow some in the first place. I always tell a drummer this, if I forget something and they let me borrow what I need, I will always help them out in the future and people have held onto that word and I do, people who show courtesy receive it from me.
 

braincramp

Gold Member
There always seems to be a built-in competition when there is 2 or more bands playing that though on the surface rarely comes out, things like this tend to bring it out..I can recall a gig years ago at a very big named establishment. There was 2 other bands besides ours playing, in the owners mind we were equals, so he had us draw straws for top billing and we won. We were so excited and the other 2 bands were obviously dissapointed, I could just imagine going asking one of the other drummers to borrow even a pair of sticks that night.
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
So would I......mercilessly.......and I mean a good old fashioned, non-stop Aussie barrage too. In fact, I would have shamed him into giving me his drink rider whilst I was at it. :)

On the other hand. If I'd just knocked you back on borrowing my cymbals, I wouldn't have had the hide to ask for a stand either.

That said, it's a fair cop. I don't think you were unreasonable by not lending your stand either.
I like your style, Pocket. Yes, there's No way I'd have had the nerve to ask for a favour after denying one. Agree, given the circumstances, bartering drinks for a loan of the stand seems fair. Cocktails :)
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
If this was me, I would have said something to the effect of...

Wait let me get this straight...You shoot me down when I ask to borrow your cymbals, and then you want to borrow something from me? Are you serious?
You've got a lot of nerve shooting me down then crawling to me asking for a stand.
I'll tell you what, even though I should tell you to get lost, I'll let you rent one for 10 dollars, how's that?

Could you translate "cheeky" into American?
 

jer

Silver Member
Jer: You're absolutely right about that the thing is, he was using the house pedal that was supplied with the kit so I could have just used that if the worst came to the worst.
I was using a pedal as an analogy, it could have been any item you needed to perform.
 
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