I need advice guys, please help

JT1

Silver Member
Hey everyone

I would very much like your opinion on something.

Ok so last night I had band practice as usual, everything was great and then our bassist/singer said he would like to put more effort into the band in order to 'give it a shot'. Now it is my dream to play for a living and I know there is a very slim chance of getting anywhere but say we did but more effort and money into the band and something did come of it... I have a full time job and it's not just a job it is a career and also I have a relationship with the most wonderful woman which I don't want to put any strain on at all. But I am worried that it will detract from time that I usually spend with my partner and I am also worried that it might end up being a choice between the band and my job.

What do I do? I mean is there any harm in raising the bar and getting better gigs maybe doing a little tour etc, should I not be worrying about it at this stage and should when it comes to it?

I should feel thrilled at the prospect when in truth I feel worried about it.

Have any of you pushed to do something like this? Did it affect your relationship or career? I really appreciate the advice guys.

Thanks very much
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
This is a tough call, that you ultimately will have to make on your own.

However, if you're convinced that this path is not for you, then don't use your relationship and career as excuses not to pursue it, just say so and move on. On the other hand, if this is something that you really want, and this wonderful woman knows you will be miserable if you don't go for it, how can she be happy with that prospect? This is where you get the "follow your bliss" cliche.

BUT - on the practical side, you have a career, a great relationship, and you probably live somewhat comfortably, meaning you can eat when and what you want and you can pay your bills. Obviously, you don't want to gamble that away. Is there any way you can pursue the band project yet keep everything else? This is where that cliched argument comes in that "You can't make it in this business if you only do it part time!"

If you mainly work during the day, I don't see why you couldn't pursue this since most music making happens at night. I have it tough because my career happens at night, but I think I've struck a good balance for now. At the start of the marriage it was rough because when I was working as a musician, times were great. But when the phone stops ringing, times get really lean, and this stresses out the relationship.

However, the question remains with what do you want?
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
JT, could you post some of your band's originals? It's hard to know how realistic the band's aim of full-time is otherwise. That Jesus My Soldier guy posted a similar question but he didn't provide any sound files, just his assurances (which, for me, precludes being able to offer anything but hedged generalities).

In the 80s I jumped ship when others in the band wanted to go the next step, which would have meant losing my job and putting pressure on my r/ship at the time. However, I left because I thought the others were delusional. If they'd been making the decision from a grounded standpoint then, after I left, they would have replaced me with someone better and taken off, yes? If I thought it was realistic, I would probably would have taken the plunge since the only thing I liked about my job then was the steady income. It sounds like you have more at stake.

However, a number of people have taken a career break to pursue music full time and then returned to it. Thing is, as Bo said, the income isn't always reliable.

If your songwriters and band are talented enough, and you have people in the group with the ability to network, and everyone is keen as mustard, and you have a plan with milestones, goals and targets - then it could be worth a go. From what I've read, a lot of pros do crazy hours juggling music, work and family on the way to music becominh their primary income source. An understanding and supportive spouse is essential.
 

JT1

Silver Member
Hey folks thanks a lot for posting =)

Bo - I do need to talk it through with my partner I feel as this is what is most important to me. If she supports me then that's great, I think she would as she loves me being in a band however I would hate to use all my free time on it (maybe I'm being naive and this isn't the case, I don't know. I am more than happy to raise the bar and do better gigs maybe for a bit of cash etc but full time I just don't know.

Polly - Of course, however we only have the one song recorded and we don't play it live anymore http://falsemiracles.bandcamp.com/

I think this recording gives a good idea of what we are about and I would appreciate the feedback. We are going to record an E.P in the upcoming months.

I appreciate the advice and I would be happy to settle with the half way there approach but I may not have a job at the end of the year due to the economic climate and then things might change so I need to think about this a lot.
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
Thanks JT.

Okay, metal pop ... pop metal ... power pop? Not my music as an oldie, but your singer has come up with a singable chorus, there's lots of attitude and strong energy. Generally you guys have it together. However, you have some work to do to be pro standard IMO - backing vocs, crispness of playing, and in arranging. Once you've done the EP, we'll all have a better idea.

(So says the has-been non-pro :)

Have you checked out the music of pro guys here who play (what I think of as) metal pop - Naigewron and masonni?

BTW, what's the demand like for "metal pop" these days?
 

Witterings

Silver Member
I must admit I've chosen bands that I play with dependant on how often they want to gig because I'm in exactly the same boat as you and my weekends are spent mainly with my wife and youngish family so don't really want to be gigging every Friday / Sat evening and avoid bands that just want to do covers at weddings / partys / pubs every weekend because of that. That said if I could make a living out playing and that was as sure a bet as my dayjob and it meant playing every Friday / Sat evening then Monday / Tuesday would become "my" weekend evenings and I'd spend time with the kids during the day still at weekends and when they come home from school.

If I had the same decision to make I'd be asking what effect a year out would have and if it doesn't go anywhere what's your worse case scenario ie could you pick you career up or would it be in tatters ?? Lets face it even with a great band the chances of making a living are still slim - if you're 19 and no bills to pay, hell why not but if you've mortgage etc it's a whole different ball game !!

If you've only got to the stage of recording one song, think I'd have wanted to have gone a lot further that that before comtemplating giving up my day job, why not get a home recording set up and put down another few other songs and see if you can get any record company interest and what feedback you get from that and use that as a measurement of your chances of success.

You say the singer / bassist was the one to bring it up, what was the rest of the bands response??
A tough call, look at the worst case scenario if it fails BUT put a time scale on it as well and if you can live with that then go for it, if not see if there's a happy medium to at least give you a better indication. Hope that's of some help.

Pollyana,
Fancy listening to a couple of the tracks of the band I'm in and see what your thoughts are, didn't want to post a link in here and hijack soemone else's thread??
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
Pollyana,
Fancy listening to a couple of the tracks of the band I'm in and see what your thoughts are, didn't want to post a link in here and hijack soemone else's thread??
Sure Witt, as long as you remember you're talking with an amateur has-been that never was ... but when I think of what my old bands failed to do I can perhaps get a fair handle on what's required :)

You could pop it in the Your Playing area and get some extra feedback.

And yes, family situation is huge, especially if there are kids.
 

JT1

Silver Member
Thanks JT.

Okay, metal pop ... pop metal ... power pop? Not my music as an oldie, but your singer has come up with a singable chorus, there's lots of attitude and strong energy. Generally you guys have it together. However, you have some work to do to be pro standard IMO - backing vocs, crispness of playing, and in arranging. Once you've done the EP, we'll all have a better idea.

(So says the has-been non-pro :)

Have you checked out the music of pro guys here who play (what I think of as) metal pop - Naigewron and masonni?

BTW, what's the demand like for "metal pop" these days?
Thanks Poll I appreciate the comments, I know the production is a bit raw but that's what we got for doing it in a backstreet practice room I guess. Our songwriting skills have only started developing properly over the past few months as the past 5 years were shambollic but a new line up and a fresh start.

Our lead guitarist agreed to do backing vocals not so long ago as he can sing quite well but for some reason now he's just refusing outright to do any and says he won't, I don't know why but we have tried talking to him about it but nothing works. How would you approach this situation?

Is the crispness you refer to about the instruments or more production in the studio? As for arranging I don't really know what we can do as we just let the song flow and don't think about it too much, maybe we need to think about it a lot more.

As for the genre, there is quite a bit of this pop-metal in the UK but the music forms itself, we didn't really pick a genre and say that's what we'll do, it just happened.

I agree we aren't anywhere near a pro standard yet but we do get positive remarks about our live performances and that is why we are going to spend more time practicing and tightening up our songs to maybe land some better gigs.


Witterings- yeah man I know I'm 22 I don't have a house yet or kids so I'm in a strong position but I would love to get a house with my partner however I don't see that happening for at least another couple of years due to finances etc. As for my career, I have nearly 3 years experience in my job and I could probably find somewhere else if I really tried but I'm not looking to give up my job. I would much rather juggle both than quit my job as i do have quite a bit of spare time.

Is this possible? I work 9-5 Monday to Friday and Bo was correct saying that most music happens at night so would it be possible to raise the bar and still keep my job? Obviously some holidays would have to be spent on touring etc but is it realistic?
 

Witterings

Silver Member
Pollyana,
Cheers for that, just be interested to see what someone else thinks, personally I really like their music and it's a large part of why I joined them although we do it as a hobby rather than trying to make it.
The website is http://www.andymatheson.com/ and if you click on the link songs at the top right the hit the play buttons of each of the tracks.
Maybe buzz me a PM with your comments.
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
JT, I'm thinking lots and lots of gigs. Gig like crazy and record yourselves a lot. Then you'll know what's achievable. At your age it's the way to go.

I suspect your guitarist doesn't want to sing because he has more fun just playing. I relate to that because I'd love to quit doing backups myself, but I'm the best non-singer in the band and some of the songs need it. You can lead a horse to water ... maybe others in the bend can get some singing lessons or at least Google up info about it and practice? I'm doing that at the moment because my backups are a weak link in the band: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpvc4SNCWHA
 
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