I keep coming back to drums but I just can't seem to stick with it.


Junior Member
My first encounter with drums was when I was about 10 years old I had been begging my parents for a kit. Knowing how kids are with begging for stuff and quiting it they like good parents would not buy me a kit. Instead they put me in lessons to see if I would stick with it long enough from them to see I was not going to drop this.I proved I was sticking with it by taking lessons for almost a year. Well something horrible happen and my dad had been living with cancer. It was unclear if he didn't tell us or didn't know but when we found out he had hardly any time left. So for the next month of December my drum lessons had stopped. Tons of things changed of course and lessons being on the back burner for a while was acceptable. So comes Christmas Day my dad had got me the kit I wanted but he had died the night before.

After about a month or so I had started lessons again but I dunno I had lost all motivation or something. I was 11 not going to lie but my dad was the one pushing me to keep with it. It was one of those things where I didn't want to put down the video games and do it but then when I did it I was glad I did. My dad help me put down the video games. So I quit but in the worst way possible. I am not 100% sure why things went this way next but this is what happen.. So I start giving my mom a hard time about going and she decides I should take a break. We all have been through a ton.. So she calls and I guess tells him I am quiting. Well he wants me to come and and tell him why. I do and he seems to get very angry and storms off.

This of course made it very hard to go back and weeks went by then months.. then years until I am 16.. I met a friend who had been playing for 3 or 4 years. We strike out a deal that I would pay him 20 a half our. I did this about 3 months and it of course ended very badly on many levels. Wish I would have learned not to pay friends for services. So this would be the second time I quit.

Moving on I move out of my moms house around 20 to live with roommates. About 6 months in I think wow we have a garage and I just have that itch just like I did the last two times. Why not take lessons again so I start new lessons and the teacher is pretty awesome. After speaking with this teacher I really lack direction on why I am even playing the drums. He asks me what music I listen to and the only response I really have for him is pandora and electronic music. I do listen to a ton of music but it is almost all pandora streams. I have it customized so I never have to touch the phone this however leaves me pretty blank on what artists I listen to.. I just know what I like. Besides the lack of a direction. I hit a huge roadblock when the neighbors and roommates complained. And the fact that he wasn't thrilled about the only day I could make it was on his day off. So I quit again after about 2 months.

So here is my final time quiting which was 2 years ago. I made the mistake of paying a friend to give me lessons again. Just didn't like the lessons this time around and the fact I was driving 60 miles round trip for them didn't help. This made the friendship awkward when things came to an end. Also the fact I was now living in an apartment with other people. No room and no way it was going to fly even with mutes on my set.

So here I am again with another itch to try again and I just don't know. I live with 5 people and my kit is impossible due to noise and space. So I need an electronic kit if I give it another try and that is a ton of money to drop. Also I still have no direction. I really do listen to tons of music but can only name a few artist and songs that I like most of them electronic anymore. I also feel I have horrible communication with musicians they seem to understand music so well and all I can do is give a song a thumbs up or thumbs down.


Senior Member
Playing music and sticking with it is hard no matter what instrument you play, but drums is one of the hardest due to size and noise problems. But if you don't do something this is always going to bother you and playing drums is one of the most fulfilling experiences in my life. Also, how you talked about it in your post I believe your dad and playing the drums are connected in your subconscious/whatever, the best answer I have is listen to your heart and don't over think it, if you want to play find a way, if not don't and spend your energy elsewhere.


Gold Member
Do you go to local gigs? That can be a great way to get motivated, get into the 'scene', meet other musos who might want to start a band.

Have you been in a band before? Can you play any other instruments?

Figure out what styles of music you like or particular bands. Ask for suggestions of other bands that are similar. There are internet forums for pretty much any style of music out there.

As for learning without actually playing, when I first started I also had a drum machine/sequencer on my PC which I used to write grooves, fills etc, and programming in exercises from books and magazines so I could hear what they sounded like. it really helped me to understand how music and drumming is put together. I still use it these days to come up with ideas, I usually end up with something that I would never have thought to play at the kit. Just an idea anyway.

Bad Tempered Clavier

Silver Member
I hope this is not too blunt a question, but have you ever particularly enjoyed playing drums? In your post you use the word "direction" three times, but I'm not sure what that means exactly: "direction" suggests you want, or rather expect, to get somewhere. Where do you think that is?

As someone else has already alluded to - if you just feel like laying down some beats without bothering anyone very much with noise etc then grab yourself a PC and a keyboard. I had a friend who started drums the same time as me - and was pretty good - but gave them up when he got heavily into writing and arranging electronic music with his midi keyboard and computer and never looked back.

I'm not a psychologist and I hate to go all armchair-therapist on you, but it occurs to me from what you posted that the only time you recall playing drums with any real fondness was when your father was around to encourage you. I doubt he (or anybody else) would want to see you unhappy trying to do something that you perhaps have little interest in and which is hardly a necessity.

From what I can gather you still have a kit: if you can find some local rehearsal rooms then why not take yourself down there and book a room for a couple of hours? There you could just play without any worries about the neighbours or who might be listening in: just go nuts and have fun with it - I'm assuming you've picked up enough over the last decade or so to amuse yourself for at least 20 minutes. If you walk out of that room with a big grin on your face - there's your answer. If not - I'd say you've probably given drums a fair shot.


Junior Member
Yeah I really looked into electronic music using a korg padkontrol for drum machine. I feel it is something I want to give a try but at the same time it is a pretty big investment and I could get a craigslist electronic kit for almost the same price. I also can read notation and I feel like I am almost there with drums in the fact that I almost know enough to start having fun with it.

Did I ever enjoy drums besides when my dad was around? Well I did enjoy my lessons with that one teacher before the last. I didn't enjoy my acoustic set after I had moved out as it had became a nightmare with roommates and neighbors and space. I always thought if I had an electronic set hooked up to my computer I could have a great time. I have headphones and a million sounds at my disposal