I feel like the whole point of a discussion forum is people sharing opinions, right? Lol
I have alway felt this too...if we are not going to discuss things, why have the platform. If we all truly believe that discussion could, snd should only be limited to the "positive", then why ask any questions, or ask for "your thoughts" about anything...
we need both even amounts of positive and negative for balance, and to avoid one is to truly be lying about the other
I guess I was raised to be ready to accept both positive and negative reactions to things I do/believe...and I was taught to use BOTH as springboards for my improvement. If everyone is just always saying that everything I do is "great", then they are lying, and that - at least to me - is way more negative than just telling the truth
if you think that something I say, or do is lame/stupid/ugly/not correct etc...then TELL ME....and then, we will discuss it. I will look into your thoughts/facts/opinions/ideas, and see if it is a better system than what I m doing. If it is, then I improve. If it isn't, then I go on.
A good example of this is between me and
@Push pull stroke on this forum...he does not like Kevlar marching heads. I don't mind them. I will never convince him that they are not bad, and he will never convince me that they are bad...so we agree and move on. On the flip side, he has pushhed me t o improve my tympani roll stroke on the larger drum, and I opened up his eyes to a new rudiment...to me, THAT is what the forums are for. I could have got super defensive, and "butthurt" about his comments/interactions, or I just soak it in, and extrapolate what I need, and go on. AND, I learned that he and I are coming fomr almost the same viewpoint on pretty much everythign else about drumming...no harm, no foul, becasue we are both honest
The issue is the idea of being "butthurt", for lack of a more gracefull definition. I was trained from an early age that "no one cares about your "butthurt" son. The world doens't have time for that" (my dad was a 60's era Marine Corps drill sergeant). I was taught that being wrong, and then fixing the wrong, is part of the system
people fear being wrong...are trained to fear being wrong, and therein lies the problem.
I also hope Mark continues in good health, good spirit, and good drumming. He might reconsider his reaction down the road, or maybe not.
It is also a great sign of this forum that we are all talking about this like it was a legit family member who went away. That really says something about this forum versus mnay others that I am on...maybe he will realize that he misses that in the future?