I Am Leaving This Forum

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Redbeard

Senior Member
I am leaving this forum. May all of you have a great life, and may all of your drums, cymbals, and hardware always be what you want. Peace and goodwill.

Do not bother responding because I will not see it.
Come on, folks, he had one request and here we are four pages later with responses!;)
But yeah, peace and goodwill to all.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Private opinion in public forums Is a baaaaad idea for harmonious interactions.

That right there could be considered a self righteous statement. I can't seem to escape making self righteous statements.

It's my duty to make sure that my self righteous statements don't single out or target anyone.
 

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Platinum Member
I wish people would accept that there are completely valid opinions that are directly opposed to their own, and be OK with that. It's a mature thing to allow, not judge other people's own personal hard won opinions. Acceptance is a wonderful thing. Religion is too touchy of a matter to be discussed in a forum. Even innocent actions, can offend easily offendable people. It's almost as if people are actively searching for ways to be offended so they can make it worse. If something or someone's words manages to offend me (not likely) yea, I just keep that to myself. My way is certainly not the only way. It's really no big deal. I accept that I don't agree but I don't feel the other person is wrong. They are right from their POV, their genetics, their journey that brought us here. I have no need to be right...on anything. I'd rather be entertained by those that do need to be right on everything.

From what I see way too many people feel it's their moral duty to air out their volatile opinions, political and otherwise, like it's going to do some good. Ha ha. Silly humans. No one cares what my opinion is. Only theirs. That's the way it is for the majority. It's not right, or wrong, it just is.

I do realize I'm doing just that, airing my opinion right now. I hope I'm not adding to the problem, but I probably am. Nothing is perfect.

so much truth here.../end thread(?)
 

opentune

Platinum Member
Come on, folks, he had one request and here we are four pages later with responses!;)
Well, that's because its a discussion board. Did a long-time member think that nothing would be said after leaving abruptly with a post like that?
Many people have dropped off this forum in the past, not always by making a 'final post', but by simply stopping to post and fading away.
In a community, people try to figure things out, maybe make it better for next time.
 

MrInsanePolack

Platinum Member
I feel like the whole point of a discussion forum is people sharing opinions, right? Lol
One would think.

I didnt see the problem or whatever happened, so I wont speculate on it. I will say though that its bothersome when people feel they must leave because of something, not because they want to. Unless it's something purposefully meant to harm, which there is no need for.
 

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Platinum Member
I feel like the whole point of a discussion forum is people sharing opinions, right? Lol

I have alway felt this too...if we are not going to discuss things, why have the platform. If we all truly believe that discussion could, snd should only be limited to the "positive", then why ask any questions, or ask for "your thoughts" about anything...

we need both even amounts of positive and negative for balance, and to avoid one is to truly be lying about the other

I guess I was raised to be ready to accept both positive and negative reactions to things I do/believe...and I was taught to use BOTH as springboards for my improvement. If everyone is just always saying that everything I do is "great", then they are lying, and that - at least to me - is way more negative than just telling the truth

if you think that something I say, or do is lame/stupid/ugly/not correct etc...then TELL ME....and then, we will discuss it. I will look into your thoughts/facts/opinions/ideas, and see if it is a better system than what I m doing. If it is, then I improve. If it isn't, then I go on.

A good example of this is between me and @Push pull stroke on this forum...he does not like Kevlar marching heads. I don't mind them. I will never convince him that they are not bad, and he will never convince me that they are bad...so we agree and move on. On the flip side, he has pushhed me t o improve my tympani roll stroke on the larger drum, and I opened up his eyes to a new rudiment...to me, THAT is what the forums are for. I could have got super defensive, and "butthurt" about his comments/interactions, or I just soak it in, and extrapolate what I need, and go on. AND, I learned that he and I are coming fomr almost the same viewpoint on pretty much everythign else about drumming...no harm, no foul, becasue we are both honest

The issue is the idea of being "butthurt", for lack of a more gracefull definition. I was trained from an early age that "no one cares about your "butthurt" son. The world doens't have time for that" (my dad was a 60's era Marine Corps drill sergeant). I was taught that being wrong, and then fixing the wrong, is part of the system

people fear being wrong...are trained to fear being wrong, and therein lies the problem.

I also hope Mark continues in good health, good spirit, and good drumming. He might reconsider his reaction down the road, or maybe not.

It is also a great sign of this forum that we are all talking about this like it was a legit family member who went away. That really says something about this forum versus mnay others that I am on...maybe he will realize that he misses that in the future?
 
I feel like the whole point of a discussion forum is people sharing opinions, right? Lol
Definitely. Personally, I could live with a wild West atmosphere where people can talk about everything, but it's not for everybody.
Ultimately, I try to regard the mods as the domestic authority and myself as a guest - if they want to keep this place family-friendly and reduce any potential conflicts, it's their right to enforce that. If I don't want to be a guest, I don't need to stay. I might have made a snarky comment every now and then, but it's never been out of malice.
Maybe we should have one dedicated thread where we can finally take our gloves off and get it all out, so that we can then return to civil conversations. (Probably a terrible idea :D)
 

prokofi5

Junior Member
I'm not getting into a public debate with you. If you'd like my feedback you can PM me.
But you took a public shot at the moderator, lol.

I have alway felt this too...if we are not going to discuss things, why have the platform. If we all truly believe that discussion could, snd should only be limited to the "positive", then why ask any questions, or ask for "your thoughts" about anything...
Then why have any moderation at all or even a theme to the forum if that's the case? I just think the maxim "good fences make good neighbors" applies here as well.

The issue here was he posted a link to a full religious service that had some drumming in it. If I posted a link to a p*rn movie that had a drum solo in the middle (how funny would that be?) or a link to a full political rally with a drum line in it of course it's going to be taken down. I'm just not sure why it's an issue.
 

BruceW

Senior Member
I've participated in other forums with less actual moderator interaction. It gets out of hand. Cuz people are people. Just look at social media these days...

I appreciate how even handed this forum is run. Its not an easy thing...
 

EhhSoCheap

Member
Tell me how better please.

Locking the thread that contained a religious service seems to me to have been imprudent, especially because you did so to avoid a potential argument about religion in the responses, correct?

Maybe a less proactive approach to moderation in this specific case would have been a better idea. In the absence of an actual argument, I can see how Drumolator could have felt patronized.
 

Auspicious

Silver Member
Usually when I leave a forum, I have a baggage of issues, not just because of 1 deleted thread.

There was probably an accumulation of things over time for the Op.
 

someguy01

Gold Member
no one cares about your "butthurt" son
Therein lies the the problem. There are generations upon generations of people in America who were taught this same complete and utter nonsense that does all of society a disservice. Other people's feelings DO matter. The dismissal and disregard of how others feel has led to this name calling and degradation of individuals for :Gasp: having emotions. If people decided to actually care about others, who knows where humans might go.
 

Auspicious

Silver Member
Therein lies the the problem. There are generations upon generations of people in America who were taught this same complete and utter nonsense that does all of society a disservice. Other people's feelings DO matter. The dismissal and disregard of how others feel has led to this name calling and degradation of individuals for :Gasp: having emotions. If people decided to actually care about others, who knows where humans might go.
Good point.
 
Locking the thread that contained a religious service seems to me to have been imprudent, especially because you did so to avoid a potential argument about religion in the responses, correct?

Maybe a less proactive approach to moderation in this specific case would have been a better idea. In the absence of an actual argument, I can see how Drumolator could have felt patronized.
I'm not so sure about that. The rules are pretty clear: no religion, no politics, no foul language. If sticking to the rules is patronizing, then what are the rules for? There is still some leeway (posting a video of Christian Rock music, celebrating the 4th of July, saying that a certain type of cymbals is "crap"...).
While the majority of users probably is Christian (if they are religious), live in the US and are old enough to not get offended by some cussing, the forum is international and open to all ages. It's hard to moderate all of that and I can see how the mods prefer keeping things simple - they don't get paid for their service.

We still don't know, why drumolator left - it's all speculation. Maybe he received some nasty PMs or is tired of this GAS-enforcing place and prefers to spend his time on other things.
 

Al Strange

Gold Member
It doesn’t make sense to me that a guy with 16 years on the forum would leave because a mod asked if he could edit a video?! :unsure: Whatever his reasons I hope that the guy and his family are healthy and happy (not a given these days)…it’s a shame but his reasons for leaving are his own and he clearly didn’t wish to share them with the community. 😐
 

incrementalg

Gold Member
Maybe he was having a really bad day or week and will change his mind. Or just maybe needed a break from all things media...I'll do that every now and then when I'm not feeling it.
 
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