How do you hide how much you've just spent on drum stuff?

Andy

Andy

Honorary Member
Or maybe you don't. Being truthful is always the best policy but not always possible. Those little white lies are a temptation when trying to soften the blow. My bass player recently bought a new guitar and made sure it was the same shape and colour as his previous one. He stores it in the same case as well. He bought a new extension cab and was seriously considering getting someone to paint it up as a pub table! I must admit I'm guilty of such subversion from time to time. The occasional cymbal has been known to miraculously appear in my case and somehow my son's kit grows without him having to buy anything himself. Any funny stories or good hints for those under the thumb?
 
I don't try to hide it anymore. She is going to see the new piece sooner or later anyway.
I wait until she walks in the drum room and I show her what I have just bought! I say things like "Isn't this great!" or "I've wanted one of these for a long time!" She says, "How much was that?" I tell her the price that I paid! She reminds me of every single one of our other expenses by listing them!!!! She leaves all pissed off, I have a martini, I play my vodka buzzed brains out!
 
bobdadruma said:
I don't try to hide it anymore. She is going to see the new piece sooner or later anyway.
I wait until she walks in the drum room and I show her what I have just bought! I say things like "Isn't this great!" or "I've wanted one of these for a long time!" She says, "How much was that?" I tell her the price that I paid! She reminds me of every single one of our other expenses by listing them!!!! She leaves all pissed off, I have a martini, I play my vodka buzzed brains out!
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I just got a brand new DW5002AD3 pedal. My wife does not now yet. At least I can hide them she never goes by my drums and she would not no what she is looking at anyways I will wait until she see's the bank statment. Then I will be in trouble lol.
 
bobdadruma said:
I don't try to hide it anymore. She is going to see the new piece sooner or later anyway.
I wait until she walks in the drum room and I show her what I have just bought! I say things like "Isn't this great!" or "I've wanted one of these for a long time!" She says, "How much was that?" I tell her the price that I paid! She reminds me of every single one of our other expenses by listing them!!!! She leaves all pissed off, I have a martini, I play my vodka buzzed brains out!
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Perfect Bob, just perfect. That's how it goes most times with me too. Only difference is I substitute vodka for red wine.

Let us know what happens when she finds out Doggy. Try catching a video of the occasion as a prelude to one of your posts! Nice new avatar BTW.

I'm not sure if I feel sorry for you GD or if I'm jealous.
 
The thing that I don't get about the gear buying thing is, I don't spend disposable money on anything else except my drums! I don't care about buying trinkets for my car. I wait until the tires are bald before I replace them! I don't care about clothes! I buy only what I need for all other things!
WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY KIT? It's the one thing in my life that I do MY WAY! I don't understand why that doesn't make her happy for me? When she buys something and she is happy, It doesn't bother me! I think that woman have this need to see you unhappy!
 
Ya gotta be honest. Do unto others ...

I believe trust is critical in relationships whether with your significant other, family members, friends or band members. Once broken, it is almost impossible to regain. Therefore, I do all I can to be honest and trustworthy. Sneaking new percussion into the house is not cool.

my two cents

GJS
 
My wife and I take the approach that we're entitled to spend reasonable amounts on our own interests as long as the bills get paid and hopefully a little goes into savings. We view it as worth the expense in order to keep each of us happy and occupied. We also trust each other to handle our individual budgets without screwing up the household.

So my wife -- who actually enjoys listening to drums -- knows that when I'm playing or I'm in my workshop making snares it means I'm not out having an affair or gambling or getting drunk somewhere. And that makes her happy.

I guess I should mention also that this is my second marriage. :)
 
Skulmoski said:
Ya gotta be honest. Do unto others ...

I believe trust is critical in relationships whether with your significant other, family members, friends or band members. Once broken, it is almost impossible to regain. Therefore, I do all I can to be honest and trustworthy. Sneaking new percussion into the house is not cool.

my two cents

GJS
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Agreed in general, but when you get the sort of reaction Bob (& myself) gets, you can see why the temptation's there. That aside, there is a boyhood driven devilment buzz gained by sneaking one past "the enemy".

Keep 'em coming. Any funny getting caught stories?
 
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.


No, seriously, I'm honest about it. My girlfriend (we live together) isn't always happy about it, but she accepts it. She knows drumming is my passion, and she wants me to be happy.
 
I fortunately don't live with my girlfriend so don't have to sneak it past anyone.

And i make a living from being a drummer so even if i did have to sneak one past I'd just retort with this is my livelyhood!!! And then still get the silent treatment.

Btw Motleyh, stunningly beautiful drums mate. Good work

Dave
 
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I haven't ever had to hide a drum-related purchase from my wife. We have a pretty permissive mutual agreement where we actually sit down and do a budget every month. We each get a certain amount of personal disposable income. This is usually what I use to buy sticks or heads. Bigger items can be allowed for in the budget, or we cooperate on a plan to save money for larger purposes.

She has never told me no as long as I have a valid reason for buying an item. On the other hand, I treat my drums like the prized possessions they are - keeping them clean, shined, and doing my own repairs when appropriate on hardware.

Finally, when I am playing paying gigs, I put aside a certain percentage of the paycheck towards drum expenses. This way the drums pay for themselves.
 
A little Freudian slip there, Dave?

I don't sneak anything past my wife. It's a trust thing. I just say I need a new (fill in the blank). She says how much does it cost? I give her a price range. She will say ok, but wait until next month, or wait until our next paycheck because we have such and such expenses this week. No problem. I am currently budgeting for a whole new Trick kit. Sweet! Patience can be tough, but it's worth doing it this way because it causes no friction. When she sees how happy I am with my new toys, then she is genuinely happy for me.
It's a two way street too, it works the same way when she wants new clothes, shoes, purses, etc. So we both get what we want, and there is no guilt.
 
I'm not sure if I feel sorry for you GD or if I'm jealous.

AT TIMES I'm not sure myself.
 
Now, this is where having a big kit pays off. I disguise new purchases by hiding them within the kit itself. For instance, wives lose their ability to tell cymbals apart once you have 8 or more. But there is a trick to this in that you need a decent spread of sizes and shapes to begin with so that future purchases won't stand out.

Another thing that helps is to have your own studio, or "man cave," to usher new purchases into. And if it also happens to be sound proof, you can remind your wife how someone could get murdered in there without anyone ever hearing a thing in the event that she happens to find the new item and goes a little ape shit. Helps if you can deliver that information with a slight twitch in your left eye.
 
bobdadruma said:
The thing that I don't get about the gear buying thing is, I don't spend disposable money on anything else except my drums! I don't care about buying trinkets for my car. I wait until the tires are bald before I replace them! I don't care about clothes! I buy only what I need for all other things!
WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY KIT? It's the one thing in my life that I do MY WAY! I don't understand why that doesn't make her happy for me? When she buys something and she is happy, It doesn't bother me! I think that woman have this need to see you unhappy!
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Don't tell me you are going back to figuring out women. Can't live with them can't live without them
 
I'll be the odd man out here. From day one I let the wife know that our partnership was equal. We'd split expenses down the middle. What is left over is the individuals money.

When I worked second jobs, that was my money. I do extra, I get extra. Same goes for her.

That's not to say that we don't help each other out. We do, but I don't ask her permission for anything.

Women come and go. Music is forever!
 
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