Hanging out with bandmates outside of playing

jornthedrummer

Silver Member
I do from time to time. Meals, checking out other bands, family functions, etc. but I only play as a hobby and the friendship is an important part of it.
 

KEEF

Senior Member
Nope - but then I don't have time to 'hang out' with anyone....the band is busy enough that all of my 'allowed out' time is taken up with that.
 

Jml

Senior Member
I work with the bass player, so I hang out with him at work, during lunch, etc. As far as the guitarists go, nope. Just see them at rehearsals and gigs, although they’re both nice guys.
 

cbphoto

Gold Member
Yes. After a gig we flip coins to see who chooses where we go for the post-gig meal. Since it's usually around 1am, it's places like Steak 'n Shake and Perkins. Conversations are solid. Once we went to Denny's; four afro-americans and the pasty old white dude. At the table, the conversation got to President Obama (in office at the time) and all eyes looked at me to see where I stood. After a few minutes of discussion, it was realized by everyone at the table that . . .

We also discuss the benefits and disadvantages of unionized labor since several of them are card-carrying union members. Sometimes we discuss women. Nowadays we discuss the FBI and how much the televised media machine is in the bag.

No fights, just laughs and some camaraderie.

During the week, if I'm working on campus, I'll ping one of the guys for lunch, or even just drop by his building to bug him (a couple of them are university facility maintenance crew).

Several times, maybe once a summer, I've hosted a BBQ and had bandmates & wives/girlfriends over. Cop a buzz, eat a steak.

This extracurricular activity helps alleviate inter-band squabbles, and reveals more about each person. But that's not why we do it.
 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
In bands yes in orchestra no (for the most part) because many were snooty I was not a "trained musician" who could sight read. I was nice to everyone and tried my best to win people over-which I had some converts. I keep up with old band members on social media but TBH many I wouldn't want to hang with now-cause we are just in different places and lost commonalities-although I wouldn't mind a one off for old times sake. Unfortunately the level of musicianship and friendliness seemed inversely related in my experience, so I love a bunch of terrible musicians-but I guess I fit right in LOL. It was weird some orchestra members were college profs in music-and I one in science so we didn't have much in common and almost like I was breaking ranks (the conductor was a friend who allowed me the opportunities-he said I had a good ear and timing and he needed a reliable drummer more than anything LOL). So not being a real musician was a big deal-I get it so always asked for feed back from them in respect (hey I'm trying my best any suggestions greatly appreciated). We'd smoke cigars and drink scotch during gig breaks though so it was cordial.
 

SmoothOperator

Gold Member
For me it is usually the other way around, do I ever play music with people I hang out with... Occasionally yes. Its petty sad, how difficult it is to find musicians, even otherwise mediocre hobbyists.
 

TMe

Senior Member
In general, the people I hang out with are people I wouldn't want to work with, and the people I work well with aren't people I'd tend to socialize with. Odd.
 

Rotarded

Senior Member
We do have "band outings", and we gather in smaller groups a couple times a month, but it's difficult because of jobs, families, and other obligations, as we are all around 50 years of age. Our keys/guitarist's wife told him "you didn't join a band, you joined a boys club"
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
I don't hang with anyone really. I'm completely greedy with my time.

I work my gig, gig my gigs, and do everything I need to do and when that's done it's me time in my favorite place, my studio.
 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
All my close friends are smokers so that's rate-limiting-if you don't you may not want to hang around and be "influenced" by second hand smoke. We all use to be big drinkers and smokers but with age we've finally realized we drank enough for one lifetime so backed off a lot. All our livers jumped in celebration. So we smoke more now LOL.. I guess in time our lungs will be a concern and have to be like Willie and go vape. I remember when our lab was in the VA hospital the old COPD smokers would wheel their oxygen tanks outside to sneak a smoke-one dude set himself on fire with that live oxygen mix-I'm surprised no one blew up. I hope that isn't some cautionary tale-damn.
 

Dr_Watso

Platinum Member
All my close friends are smokers so that's rate-limiting-if you don't you may not want to hang around and be "influenced" by second hand smoke. We all use to be big drinkers and smokers but with age we've finally realized we drank enough for one lifetime so backed off a lot. All our livers jumped in celebration. So we smoke more now LOL.. I guess in time our lungs will be a concern and have to be like Willie and go vape. I remember when our lab was in the VA hospital the old COPD smokers would wheel their oxygen tanks outside to sneak a smoke-one dude set himself on fire with that live oxygen mix-I'm surprised no one blew up. I hope that isn't some cautionary tale-damn.
DRUGS!!!!!!!!!! We do not condone the Jazz cabbage on this family website, sir.
 

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Well-known member
I lie about my personal life to the band so I'd not want them to see the real me.
I don't do this, but my honesty about my hobbies and personal life lets them choose. We all have music in common, and watching sports. We get together to watch Ohio State games, and being a Notre Dame fan, I add "comic relief" to the gatherings with my witty and ultra-knowledgable banter about college football...:cool: As mentioned before I play hockey with one, and the bass player in my surf punk band is the one who got me back into mountain biking, but now he doesn't go out anymore...wussy

none of them can identify with my nerd hobbies though

The best thing though, is that my high school band mates all still are very close, and still hang around...recently (on 'the other side" of kids), as much as we used to, and doing some of the same dumb stuff. I am currently teaching the son of my best friend, which is sweet. And we still remember most of the songs from back then and still play them...

I could not imagine not being friends with the people in any of my bands. I could never treat the situations as a cold business type thing.
 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
DRUGS!!!!!!!!!! We do not condone the Jazz cabbage on this family website, sir.
Gee I guess you missed my tongue in cheek. All my band mates quit doing drugs-but many are prescribed medication now. Sort of a thorny issue in states where it's legal and illegal, then various forms of non-psychoactive CBD buds (like alcohol free beer). Some still smoke tobacco-amazingly in good health. I quit tobacco for decades then took up a damn pipe but quit it about four years ago. But my comment relates to "smoking" band mates which many find offensive-no matter what it is , so becomes rate limiting who wants to hang. Break out the cigars and all the women leave. I use to smoke cigars at Xmas but gave them up too. I always enjoyed smoking so a tough beast to beat.
 

Channing

Member
For me it is usually the other way around, do I ever play music with people I hang out with... Occasionally yes. Its petty sad, how difficult it is to find musicians, even otherwise mediocre hobbyists.
I think it depends where you are. Where I live you can't really throw a baseball without hitting a musician.
 

cdar

Junior Member
Of course. All but one...the one that doesn't hang just isn't as close with everyone else...even tried including him in...nope.
 
Top