Hanging out with bandmates outside of playing

PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
I'm getting ready to go have lunch with one of my former band mates. Haven't seen him in months.

Before marriage, I used to do it a lot more, but I still try to make a point to hang out with a few of them. Now that everyone works all the time and has families (or other bands they are playing in), it's much more difficult than when we were all in our 20s. Back then, I only hung out with band mates.
 

mikyok

Platinum Member
I have some amazing friends who are/were bandmates. It's nice to have a social side to being in a band where you can put the music to one side.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
I'm talking about people in your current situation. Not past musician friends. I don't hang with my bands outside of music. I've seen concerts so maybe that counts. Only a few times. The band I'm in has never hung out or even gone to breakfast afterwards. They are around the 70 YO mark tho lol.
 

philrudd

Senior Member
I do. I don't really have much spare time these days so it's not very often, but I love going and having a beer with the boys after rehearsal. I'd probably hang out with them more often if I wasn't so busy...it's really my only social outlet.

But I'm lucky, I play with some pretty good fellas, and not just in one band. I'd hang with just about all of the people I play with.
 

moxman

Silver Member
I think it depends on the band.. With some bands in the past it was just not happening.. more like a $ thing that brought us together. My current 2 bands: 1. I've played and partied with these 4 clowns (including myself) and their wives for 20 years. Probably one reason why we've never broken up the band.. we're all great friends.. so who wants to fire the bass player Lol?
2. A more recent 7 piece band that I've been with for 4 years - a very social bunch! I don't know where they find the energy but there's always something going on - meeting for drinks, going to parties, cottages, trips, concerts etc. We've also played all over North America - so travelling together also forms bonds!
 

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Well-known member
We hang around on practice day, and on gig days, but as mentioned above, family and jobs also take up much of the time now. Another big thing for me is that most of the rest of the people in my bands drink, and their idea of a good time is always centered around that. I don't drink, and am extremely bored by drinking culture.
 

Dr_Watso

Platinum Member
It's more common for me to keep in touch with people I've been in bands with and grab lunches a few times a month or something.

Other times I'll be in projects with friends I hang out with anyway, and we don't stop hanging out or anything.
 

gdmoore28

Gold Member
No. But I don't "hang" with anybody. I haven't been the type ever since I got married. I'd rather spend time with her - most of the time.

GeeDeeEmm
 

Living Dead Drummer

Platinum Member
I'm much more of a business oriented person. I tend to keep the social interactions with band mates to a minimum.
It's not that it never happens, I was hanging last night with 3 guys I play with, but I do try to keep "work" work.
 

beyondbetrayal

Platinum Member
All the time. Friends and bandmates for me. Works great for our situation. I have been in bands where it was more business driven, or get to work and see ya later. But this band has been around for 14 years. We are great friends and it won't be changing any time soon.
 

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Well-known member
...but to add to my previous thought, I do hang around with them when they are not drinking. Have been to their weddings etc, so we are very social...just not on non-gig Friday or Saturday nights...the leader of my swing band plays on my hockey team. That is where we met
 

opentune

Platinum Member
Interesting question. No ....not at all, for the past 3 or 4 bands. I would be open to it on occasion, but find not much common ground with them outside of playing instruments. I'm sure they might say the same of me.
I see most of the responses above are no....so the common ground seems to be music.
 

Channing

Member
I will hang out with them but most of the time if we do it’s either both of us going to see some other band, me going to see my bandmates’ other band, them coming to see my other band that I’m in, and hanging out drinking after. Otherwise sometimes we’ll have a jam where we get all the musicians we can round up at the time from whatever bands (in our genre) and just all take turns switching out whatever instruments we play. So yes I hang out with them but when I do we’re always playing music. So maybe the answer is no.. hmm. I guess maybe it better explains it to say, playing music with my bandmates feels like hanging out with my friends. That’s basically what it is. We just also happen to be playing music, because we love it and it’s fun.
 

drumdevil9

Platinum Member
I just had a Christmas dinner with friends most of whom are former bandmates. These are friends I've had for decades and we keep in touch and hang occasionally.

My current bandmates are great guys but I wouldn't say we're close. We don't hang together often but I have attended a birthday and sadly a funeral/wake for a beloved mutual friend and Montreal drummer who passed in 2018. Not the best of circumstances for hanging together but hey...
 
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