Getting to be a bit much

2bsticks

Platinum Member
Soon to be 66 and working a full time job as well as playing close to 180 gigs per year is starting to take its toll physically. Don't get me wrong I love to play the drums. However I have been with this band since 1995 and believe it or not still play many of the same songs UGH! The guys in the band are nice people for the most part and talented but I feel I am missing out on other things in life lately. Thinking of pulling the plug at years end with this band? I don't want to give up playing for good but maybe try a trio thing, playing some different material? This current band has paid me well and I was able to get my two daughter through college but it came with making sacrifices along the way, mostly my wife. Any of you find yourself in this situation? Thank for listening. 2B
 

J-Boogie

Gold Member
You got me by 20 years so I dont really have advice, but I do want to say that I admire you very much. I think you've earned the right to do whats best for you at this point. Maybe try to line something up before you give notice? Just want to have you avoid a down time from playing, or more so an extended down time. Once you stop, its easy to stay stopped and can be challenging to find a new project you like. Happened to me and I just finally back playing. If retiring is an option for you, and that idea pleases you, maybe takes these guys advice and look into that. Keep playing if it makes you happy tho. Keep us posted...

Lol I dont have any advice....then I proceed to give lots of advice, sorry about that misdirection there.
 

danondrums

Well-known member
Is it weird that I think it would be so relaxing to be playing the same songs with the same group for 20 years? Sure, cycle songs in and out, but never needing rehearsals, having an established band that can get gigs super easily, etc... Perhaps I'll feel differently when/if achieved but that sounds pretty great as long as you like the people you're playing with.
 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
Man that's a long time with one band-that's a testament into itself. I can relate you "fill" (lol) like you're missing out on life events gigging so much, I can relate New Year's eve was it for me. But I quit the band and that first New Year's Eve went to see Greg Allman in Atlanta with my wife and man was I disappointed LOL. So there's that kind of crap to consider-sometimes you aren't missing anything LOL. But I get you-got a new grand baby and I'd do "anything" for the little seed so if giiggng got in the way of that-bye bye gigging.
 
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force3005

Silver Member
Hi 2B. It depends, IMO 1.) How are you and your wife dealing with you playing out? Especially your wife feelings. 2.) How are you feeling physically before and after the gig. 3.) Mentally. What I am saying is just think about it and talk it over with your wife. I am 60 years young and having physical problems and this is what I have been doing for a living for the last 12 years. Averaging between 200-220 gigs with two bands and some fill in work. My wife does not work so she likes it when I get from under her feet. But it's getting harder more and more.
 
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Andy

Administrator
Staff member
Any advice I can give is irrelevant outside of your own feelings. The same band for nearly 25 years is something to be incredibly proud of, especially with that gigging frequency.
Time is a precious commodity as we progress through life, & we don't know what's round the corner, so it's certainly time to prioritise. Sounds a bit rich coming from me, but even I've taken steps to allow rightful priorities to dominate.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Instead of all or nothing my guess is if you stayed together but gigged only 3 times a month instead of 12 or 15 you could have the best of both worlds. I left a long time band last year and my dance card has been wide open, but other things are filling the void which are a nice change. Sometimes we just have to change things up to reawaken ourselves. There are no nights where I regret leaving that band because I know it's still the same exact thing I was doing with them. I needed to grow, to do something different. If you are at that stage... I'd lobby for cutting way back on the gigging frequency. Or, if that isn't an option with your mates, maybe get a 2nd drummer and you can split the gigs however you want with that person. That way the baby stays and the bathwater goes. Everyone is happy.

I'd be happy to be that other drummer, as I said, my dance card is wide open.

Damn that was a fine sales pitch.
 

2bsticks

Platinum Member
Great replies everyone. A bit bushed from a 3 set casino gig this afternoon, Larry what you said is the same advice my wife gave me. Get a backup drummer. Need to check that out further. I do have a couple of drummers who fill in for me at times
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Great replies everyone. A bit bushed from a 3 set casino gig this afternoon, Larry what you said is the same advice my wife gave me. Get a backup drummer. Need to check that out further. I do have a couple of drummers who fill in for me at times
Cool. I hope it works out for you. You could cherry pick the best/closest gigs and enjoy all the extra time you'll have.
 
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PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
What you've done is commendable! I'm not going to give you any "You should do this..." type of advice. I'm just going to say that you need to do what you feel is best, and feel confident in what you are doing. I've been doing this for about 25 years, but are older than me, have more experience on me, and you've probably played and forgotten more songs than I even know. I just say make the best decision for you, and be happy with it. If you choose time off, just know that you've earned it.
 

CommanderRoss

Silver Member
You could just do the hired gun thing. Play only when others need you & not when they don't. That way you still get your playing time in & get the break you need too.
 

cbphoto

Gold Member
If you’re considering joining or starting another band, my suggestion:
Make a list of everything you really like about your current band and make these items “must have”.
Make a second list of everything you really disliked about your current band and make these “never again”.
 

2bsticks

Platinum Member
I have a couple of guys who have been helping out and that's making things a bit better. I better be careful these guys are good, I'll find myself out of a gig :) At 66 not sure about starting another band, but you never know, maybe a trio and bring my bop kit out?
 

Chunkaway

Silver Member
What kind of songs are you still playing from 1995? Jazz standards where you have the flexibility to stretch out and improvise? That, to me, would not be so bad. Pop/rock covers are another story entirely. That would drive me absolutley bonkers. Still, 25 years with the same band is amazing in and of itself. 25 months is an accomplishment these days. But it sounds like it may be time to try something new. Larry's advice seems to be right on the mark, as well. Is the band amenable to that model?

How do you feel about this possible change? Your wife? Do you need the money?
 
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