Getting fired from the band

veecharlie

Senior Member
This is the first time that happens to me, I got fired from the band that asked me to join and on top of that, we had a deal that I would help them grow in change that they would help me recover from my health issues. I joined when this band had literally made only one gig. The guys didn't even know how to play to a click, however, I had said yes because these guys do have potential, and honestly, I have been so happy of being part of it, they have taken a huge step up. Basically, my health recovery has been around them all the time, and since December last year, I have rarely felt bad again. It was going really great, we got to open for some cool musicians and do some really cool gigs around.

After our last gig (with me on drums), the bassist called me up and said me a bunch of lies and excuses saying that "I had to take distance from the band".
It's pretty disappointing, also because I'm 98% recovered and it was going so good. So, I politely shredded his arguments with the truth and wrote the entire band a goodbye letter. I really feel used and do not understand why they have done this, to cut off a band member in change for some kind of "fame" they pretend to have in their head or so.

Has something like this ever happened to you? What did you do? How did you move on?

I seriously can't find a reason to "get fired", I honestly have thought them all, the only thing that might have upset them was the fact that I always tried to help them and the last month I got more direct answers like "mind your own business" instead of trying to do something for them to help them. But then.. why simply not say "I don't want your help, just play drums?" would have been all fine and good. I don't think that really justifies it honestly...

In anyways, I'm okay not to have this band anymore, I need the time off to refocus anyways (I'll attach a video about that below for those who want to see it, long story).

 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
Yeah it happens. Sorry you got fired (and your health problems) and I can tell you are really taking it hard (I can relate). I"m going to give you some advice that I hope you take in a positive manner. You are a loverly person (seem like a bright young person) and got lots of talent but you are being to "introspective" and over analyzing this . Now "introspection" can be a really positive trait if used to help you grow , but sometimes we can use it to beat the hell out of ourselves (and for no good). I think you are beating the hell out of yourself. So find something to occupy your mind and forget about it . It isn't a Scarlet letter or anything. All the mental gymnastics seem to be dragging you down and its just going to wear you down and your health-Don't worry Be Happy. I'd just take the positive and leave the negative behind (you can let it haunt you). "Life" is full of good, bad, and ugly. Odd thing is even the bad and ugly can turn into something good surprisingly. I think you are going to be fine-.Change is good.
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Yeah it happens. Sorry you got fired (and your health problems) and I can tell you are really taking it hard (I can relate). I"m going to give you some advice that I hope you take in a positive manner. You are a loverly person (seem like a bright young person) and got lots of talent but you are being to "introspective" and over analyzing this . Now "introspection" can be a really positive trait if used to help you grow , but sometimes we can use it to beat the hell out of ourselves (and for no good). I think you are beating the hell out of yourself. So find something to occupy your mind and forget about it . It isn't a Scarlet letter or anything. All the mental gymnastics seem to be dragging you down and its just going to wear you down and your health-Don't worry Be Happy. I'd just take the positive and leave the negative behind (you can let it haunt you). "Life" is full of good, bad, and ugly. Odd thing is even the bad and ugly can turn into something good surprisingly. I think you are going to be fine-.Change is good.
I love this advise, it's true. I am quite critical about myself (not always good). It's good to know I'm not the only one in this situations :oops: it's quite embarrassing lol. Oh and, thank you so much for your kind words :)
 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
No you shouldn't be embarrassed-it's like a right of passage of life. Those scars should make you stronger not weaker. My first year in grad school I was humiliated and embarrassed numerous times (and I cried like a freaking baby and wanted to quit) but that drove me to read more, work harder and be better to gain their respect (which I did). I suggest do the same-just with your drumming.
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
No you shouldn't be embarrassed-it's like a right of passage of life. Those scars should make you stronger not weaker. My first year in grad school I was humiliated and embarrassed numerous times (and I cried like a freaking baby and wanted to quit) but that drove me to read more, work harder and be better to gain their respect (which I did). I suggest do the same-just with your drumming.
That is totally true. I suffered the same at school, while I did change a lot, it's always a weakness of mine to doubt myself... that's why I love this sabbatical I'm taking, I'm finally taking time off to focus on "myself" and not always trying to please others (without being arrogant). A lot to learn still, I really appreciate the opportunity to interchange thoughts on this forum!
 

MrInsanePolack

Platinum Member
I'm with Art, don't worry about it. Everyone gets fired from something, it's part of life. And honestly, it isn't always a bad thing. Consider it a time for growth, an opportunity to come back stronger and more focused. Use your angst to drive yourself, not beat yourself up. We can only move forward, looking back just keeps us stuck and bitter.

It's not the end of the world, unless you get fired from life. There's no recovering from that.
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
I'm with Art, don't worry about it. Everyone gets fired from something, it's part of life. And honestly, it isn't always a bad thing. Consider it a time for growth, an opportunity to come back stronger and more focused. Use your angst to drive yourself, not beat yourself up. We can only move forward, looking back just keeps us stuck and bitter.

It's not the end of the world, unless you get fired from life. There's no recovering from that.
yea exactly, I totally agree! That's how I'm approaching it too, it's time for growth. It was only the doubt of.. "my fault", and the experiences that others have had with these topics that makes me wonder about it
 

yammyfan

Senior Member
I'm with the others on this one: get mad, get better and move on.

I got fired from a band three years ago that had commercial potential, I thought. I had been with them for two years and they were often telling me how much they loved me and my playing so you can imagine how shocked I was when they let me go.

After moping around for a few months I pulled myself together and got back into playing. I got better and got many offers to join bands. I'm in at least two bands at any one time now and am climbing the ladder in our local music scene.

The hard truth, though: I wasn't good enough at the time I got fired. It was a business decision and they had every right to do it.

It's cliché to say so but get honest with yourself and work on your weaknesses. Like, really work on them. Even if your skill set was more than enough for the band you left behind, make it so that going back would be a step down for you.

An epilogue: I played a fair last summer with one of my current bands. While grabbing a beer between sets, I ran into the bass player from the band that fired me. We made small talk and I asked him what he thought of the band. He said "they're really good!" The look on his face when I said "Thanks!" was priceless. He had heard but not seen me up there on stage. I knew right then and there that the work had paid off.

Get mad, get better, and move on.
 

Channing

Member
If I was fired from my band, I would just find a new band. Or take the opportunity to just go into my practice room for a couple months and only work on whatever I felt like playing.

As a drummer, especially a good drummer who's reliable and willing to work hard, you will have a lot of opportunities. Honestly I think if everyone in my band disappeared I'd be in another band next week if I wanted. Whenever one door closes another opens.
 

Rattlin' Bones

Gold Member
Don't worry about it. Don't try to "shred" their reasons. Sounds like you're trying to affirm firing you was a mistake. Don't go down that path. It's like trying to convince a lover not to break up with you. They had their reasons. You can't shred them. Move on. I auditioned for a Rockabilly act a few years ago. Dwight Yocum. Stary Cats sorta 2/4 grooves. Bass slapping' a rhythm. I thought I did well but they didn't. I didn't get hired. They said my grooves were too predictable and not enough variety. That plus I couldn't keep time. I could shred those arguments, in fact I went through a post-rejection phase where I did just that. But I quickly slapped myself in the face and moved on. I got picked up by a jazz-oriented band. They like my predictability on many songs - I'm not getting in their way. And they sometimes call me The Human Metronome. Wow just the exact opposite of the Rockabilly band. Point is the rejection was a good thing or else I would not have hooked up with a better band with better musicians playing better material at better venues. The rejection is an opportunity for you.
LIke in sales ya gotta go through 20 rejections to get that one sale.
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Don't worry about it. Don't try to "shred" their reasons. Sounds like you're trying to affirm firing you was a mistake. Don't go down that path. It's like trying to convince a lover not to break up with you. They had their reasons. You can't shred them. Move on. I auditioned for a Rockabilly act a few years ago. Dwight Yocum. Stary Cats sorta 2/4 grooves. Bass slapping' a rhythm. I thought I did well but they didn't. I didn't get hired. They said my grooves were too predictable and not enough variety. That plus I couldn't keep time. I could shred those arguments, in fact I went through a post-rejection phase where I did just that. But I quickly slapped myself in the face and moved on. I got picked up by a jazz-oriented band. They like my predictability on many songs - I'm not getting in their way. And they sometimes call me The Human Metronome. Wow just the exact opposite of the Rockabilly band. Point is the rejection was a good thing or else I would not have hooked up with a better band with better musicians playing better material at better venues. The rejection is an opportunity for you.
LIke in sales ya gotta go through 20 rejections to get that one sale.
I meant "shredding" as pull the truth out, I don't have to reaffirm myself to anyone. I said them on the phone "that you make these claims, if you are firing me or not, I have lost all my trust in you and for me is not possible to continue working when trust is broken, as it would be a waste of my time".

Really interesting story though, and yes I totally agree, you have to knock 20 times until only one opens the door!
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
If I was fired from my band, I would just find a new band. Or take the opportunity to just go into my practice room for a couple months and only work on whatever I felt like playing.

As a drummer, especially a good drummer who's reliable and willing to work hard, you will have a lot of opportunities. Honestly I think if everyone in my band disappeared I'd be in another band next week if I wanted. Whenever one door closes another opens.
well said!
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
I'm with the others on this one: get mad, get better and move on.

I got fired from a band three years ago that had commercial potential, I thought. I had been with them for two years and they were often telling me how much they loved me and my playing so you can imagine how shocked I was when they let me go.

After moping around for a few months I pulled myself together and got back into playing. I got better and got many offers to join bands. I'm in at least two bands at any one time now and am climbing the ladder in our local music scene.

The hard truth, though: I wasn't good enough at the time I got fired. It was a business decision and they had every right to do it.

It's cliché to say so but get honest with yourself and work on your weaknesses. Like, really work on them. Even if your skill set was more than enough for the band you left behind, make it so that going back would be a step down for you.

An epilogue: I played a fair last summer with one of my current bands. While grabbing a beer between sets, I ran into the bass player from the band that fired me. We made small talk and I asked him what he thought of the band. He said "they're really good!" The look on his face when I said "Thanks!" was priceless. He had heard but not seen me up there on stage. I knew right then and there that the work had paid off.

Get mad, get better, and move on.
Totally agree! it's turning those events int opportunities!
 

Gottliver

Senior Member
Lots if great replies. Don’t let it get you down. These things happen for good reason. Soon you will find yourself in a better band.

PS, as much as it helps to talk about your health issues, putting them up on the interweb will cast a negative bias on your image.
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Lots if great replies. Don’t let it get you down. These things happen for good reason. Soon you will find yourself in a better band.

PS, as much as it helps to talk about your health issues, putting them up on the interweb will cast a negative bias on your image.
Thanks, yea totally agree.
Talking about my health issues.. honestly, I was raised to never tell your weaknesses and I totally agree with it.
But when I got this, I realized it was impossible for people not to notice it. Sure, 2 years have passed by now, and I rarely tell about it unless is relevant. Especially that my symptoms are rarely visible.
However, it did teach me that, while I might be ashamed or not wanting others to know about it because it would make me "weak", I did learn so much from it I got only stronger from it. I don't say it to pull the attention, but it would be for me mission accomplished if someone that suffers/has suffered from the same can find either this post or one of my videos, and be a helping hand. It's something that completely changed my life and taught me to fight for the things that really matter in life, and to never give up. If I never tell the story (not about getting fired, but overall), how can I help others then?

Sure, the internet is not the place where to moan about money or such, I totally agree with you. The world is smaller than we always think it is... Honestly, I even might have gotten too far by telling what happened of this band and asking for the other's experiences or making a video marking a new commitment time. Time will tell.
 

ottog1979

Senior Member
If you're really brave... and you really want to learn about yourself with the intent/goal of getting better, ask one of the members you connect with the best for some honest feedback. You may not get anything of value, but then again, you might if they are sincere and you approach in a manner that you aren't asking to debate them - you just want some info. This isn't about who's right and who's wrong. For some reason(s), some of which they attempted to convey, it just wasn't working for them. Wouldn't you really want to know the good reasons why if the info can be conveyed in a useful manner? Maybe the info had nothing to do with your playing or is nothing you can or want to fix. But it also might be valuable in becoming a better musician. Who wouldn't want that?

Admittedly, it's difficult and vulnerable-feeling to ask such questions. But there might be some jewels in there. What harm can truly be done to you by asking? If they are nasty or disingenuous about it, that's their problem and you are no worse off than now.

Personally, a few situations like this in the past have made me a significantly better drummer.
 
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veecharlie

Senior Member
If you're really brave... and you really want to learn about yourself with the intent/goal of getting better, ask one of the members you connect with the best for some honest feedback. You may not get anything of value, but then again, you might if they are sincere and you approach in a manner that you aren't asking to debate them - you just want some info. This isn't about who's right and who's wrong. For some reason(s), some of which they attempted to convey, it just wasn't working for them. Wouldn't you really want to know the good reasons why if the info can be conveyed in a useful manner? Maybe the info had nothing to do with your playing or is nothing you can or want to fix. But it also might be valuable in beginning a better musician. Who wouldn't want that?

Admittedly, it's difficult and vulnerable-feeling to ask such questions. But there might be some jewels in there. What harm can truly be done to you by asking? If they are nasty or disingenuous about it, that's their problem and you are no worse off than now.

Personally, a few situations like this in the past have made me a significant better drummer.
I keep contact with 3 of them, but we never really touched the subject. I think it's a great idea. I will definitively ask them, see what they say. I might be surprised or not, but you are right that it can't hurt anyone.
 

ottog1979

Senior Member
It works better if you assure at the outset that you are ok with their decision and that that you are not trying to change their mind or argue at all. You just would like some info that would be helpful. Then, just ask and listen. Thank them for being honest (that will be hard/risky for them too), and be on your way.
 
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