I don't think anyone should answer this, but how much feel do you(generic) really have for your instrument?\
Funny that, I know it was a rhetorical question but I'll give my two cents, just because what I thought of was kind of amusing. Funny enough, but I don't think I have nearly the feel on my instrument that I'd like to - and so, in order to improve my feel I practice technical excercises such as playing with low stick heights, studying accenting techniques and working with a metronome. It's like the ideas of how I want to sound are already there, and have probably been built out of a lot of listening to music and deciding what I like, but in order to make my drumming "feel" to others like I want it to, I have gain a lot more control over my hands and feet.
As far as the being able to play someone elses "feel", it's really difficult and I've been learning that with my current band. They play "punk-rock-reagge" music and have very specific ideas about what I should do in certain parts, but sometimes have a hard time articulating them, as they're not terribly technically versed themselves. So, usually it goes down something like "man, I don't know, but the way you're doing that part is just off, like there's something like 'uuuuhhhh' that's not there" So then I play quarters on the hi-hat. They say that's not it. Then I swing the eights. Not it. Double time snare. Nope. Follow the bassline more with my foot. No man, you know, like uuuuhhh! Open the hi-hat a bit....That sounded pretty good.. Yeah, so as of now it's kind of a crapshoot, but that probably depends on the people you're with and the situation.