I'll do it.......for $75.......and I'll be back in a week or two when they need tuning again.......for another $75, naturally.But if OP really wants someone to tune the drums properly for him, it's an option to consider. Sounds like he's pretty frustrated (I've been there).
Of course he could also pay someone $75 as a one off for them to teach him how to do it too. FWIW, I'm up for that lesson as well.
But I still reckon a guy in a drum store will show him the process for nothing anyway.