Drum truths that defy science, gravity or explanation..................

vyacheslav

Senior Member
Greetings,

This is a thread about those sort of "Murphy's Law" moments or "How is that possible?" moments with our gear and drums/drumming in general. I'll give some examples:

Why is it that every piece of hardware has to get caught on every other piece of hardware in your hardware case? Even if the stand piece you grab is on the very top, it WILL get caught on the legs of another stand approximately 15 feet below it.

Any piece of equipment that you put over your shoulder instantly grows to many times it's size! As soon as you throw an 8" tom over your shoulder, it suddenly turns into a 48" concert bass drum, knocking over everything in it's path and makes you unable to walk through even the widest doorways!

What is the strange phenomenon that, when you gently drop or toss a drum key/wing nut from less than 2 feet off the ground onto a thickly carpeted area, somehow the drum key/wing nut hits an invisible trampoline, jumps 25 feet in the air and bounces approximately a half mile from where you are?

I'm sure you have many others!

V
 

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX

Well-known member
no matter how well marked the kit, hardware ,and rug is, it never sets up the same...

no matter what, at the end of the night, no one is there for load out

no matter what you say or ask for, there is never enough bass guitar in the monitor mix...and almost always too much vox
 

Jasta 11

Well-known member
When i put my cymbal bag on mu shoulder, i will bump into things 10 feet behind me. It also makes me 8 feet wide. its only over 1 should for gods sake and i suddenly become gigantic and cant fit by anyone. I actually get caught on chairs of all things all the time when making my way through lounge areas. i dont get it?
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
I like how a lot of things are seemingly backwards. Just my opinions here that are true for me in my world.

Less is more

Controlled playing sounds more emotional than emotional playing. I'm referring to too much release and not enough tension.

Low volume stuff draws people in as much as high volume stuff

Showing off has the opposite effect, on me, that the show off is going for, instrument notwithstanding

The less ego, with everyone, the more personal the music becomes

Trying a little less less hard usually sounds better than trying too hard in a band context

The more drummers try hard to impress, the less impressive they are.

The more a drummer blends with the band and sinks into the background, the more he is noticed and appreciated

The more relaxed a drummer is, the more aggressive they can be
 

Tamaefx

Silver Member
Why cant you find anybody to help you to load your gear, and why each time you find someone to help, you instantly regret asking because he carries your equipment as he would carry logs of wood !
And why each time you install your drum kit and didn’t even start playing, there is always that damn guy saying “it’s too loud”.
 

The Shepherd

Well-known member
I tighten up everything on my throne so nothing moves, nothing.

As soon as I plunk my arse on it, the thing starts wobbling......EVERY SINGLE TIME!
 

Bozozoid

Well-known member
When i put my cymbal bag on mu shoulder, i will bump into things 10 feet behind me. It also makes me 8 feet wide. its only over 1 should for gods sake and i suddenly become gigantic and cant fit by anyone. I actually get caught on chairs of all things all the time when making my way through lounge areas. i dont get it?
Is that spinal tap syndrome?
 

MrInsanePolack

Platinum Member
Eventually something will loosen (or break) and fall down. Its inevitable. It might be a floor tom leg, a kick spur, a tom mount, a cymbal tilter, it doesn't matter. Gravity doesnt care either. You will probably be in a performance/recording/audition when it happens.

Your freshly tuned kit sounds horrible at the venue.

The singer announces one song and the guitarist starts another. While this isnt a drummer issue, it suddenly becomes our problem.

You will at some point hit yourself in the head/face/hands. If your hair is long sticks will get tangled up in it.
 

bongoman

Junior Member
The singer announces one song and the guitarist starts another. While this isnt a drummer issue, it suddenly becomes our problem.
Reminds me of a gig, first time playing with this band. The singer/songwriter pulls me aside and gives detailed instructions for how they want me to play the intro of this one song. We get to that song, I play it exactly as instructed, and the guitarist stops the song (live, in front of the audience) to tell me I’m doing it all wrong. He gives me contradictory instructions and I say “Okay but the bandleader JUST told me to play it this other way”. He says just play it his way. So I do, and we finish the gig, and the guitarist tells the bandleader I’m unprofessional and not playing with them again. Okay!
 

mikyok

Platinum Member
Reminds me of a gig, first time playing with this band. The singer/songwriter pulls me aside and gives detailed instructions for how they want me to play the intro of this one song. We get to that song, I play it exactly as instructed, and the guitarist stops the song (live, in front of the audience) to tell me I’m doing it all wrong. He gives me contradictory instructions and I say “Okay but the bandleader JUST told me to play it this other way”. He says just play it his way. So I do, and we finish the gig, and the guitarist tells the bandleader I’m unprofessional and not playing with them again. Okay!

I'd have shaken said fret wanker warmly by the throat. Sounds like they got through a lot of drummers!

Anyways back on topic, alcohol attracts idiots to your drum kit like moths to a flame. Does anyone know if I can get an idiot sized bug zapper?
 
If you can clearly hear the bassist at the sound check, you won't hear anything once it's stage time.
When I drop a stick it always rolls under the bass drum or teleports to some remote place in a different time zone.
During a drum solo everybody speeds up but me (it can't possibly be that I'm slowing down, right? Now that would be preposterous... :rolleyes:)
 

Odd-Arne Oseberg

Platinum Member
Can't really come up with much on the kit, but my practice pad that sits on the heaviest DW snare stand made tips over almost on a daily basis.
 

GetAgrippa

Platinum Member
No I don't experience that with drums but my wife. She has demonstrated to me countless times I know nothing of science as she has told me something I stated "That deifies the laws of physics" and then she does it as I scratch my head in disbelief. WTH-that ain't right.
 
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