Do You Seek Approval ?

GetAgrippa

Diamond Member
I like to know I don’t suck from others , and I seek my own approval since I tend to be my most harsh critic.
 

petrez

Senior Member
I don't so much seek it in the audience (I know how we usually sound like, so I kind of gotten a bit numb to the regular Joe's coming up after the gig complementing us. It's nice of course, but it doesn't really affect me that much. Maybe because I've gotten used to nothing really happens with the growth of our popularity/chance of getting bigger shows, even if the audience think we are great), but I might seek it somewhat in fellow musicians, either the ones on "my level" or, more likely, someone I look up to, higher up in the hierarchy. A dream of mine is to play larger venues/festivals, which I really feel my band could do at the moment, so getting approval/recognition by management/booking agents or just people that can make our band grow even more, I can't deny that it is a motivational factor for me. Or getting some incredible reviews on our latest album, things like that. In a perfect "PC" world I should say that my own enjoyment of drumming is the only thing that matters, I could have said that in my first years of drumming. But with 30 years of drumming in my belt, being my main hobby/interest and my main source of creative outlet, I would like to have left some kind of mark with it before I lay away my sticks.
 
Last edited:

Stroman

Platinum Member
I have not drummed in front of anyone for 20 years now. Yet I still love to do it. If I was the only person left on earth I would still drum. If I was seeking approval, I certainly would not continue to drum by myself.
I get that, totally. I love drumming for the sheer experience of it, too.

I still maintain, if you want to play with other musicians or have anyone listen to your music, you seek approval.

I suppose the point of my post was that wanting approval shouldn't be frowned upon. If you absolutely didn't care about anyone else's feelings, you'd be sociopathic, I believe.
 

Sausagetoad

Member
Approval seeking is an ego trip. And while we all 'have' egos, the best way to deal with them is to be so involved in something that the sense of self disappears. That's what drumming did for me, put me in the true here and now. It's not so much about being a 'big shot,' although recognition by one's peers is a natural consequence of achieving a certain level of accomplishment. I take it with a grain of salt though, because I know that my playing pales in comparison to many others. The main thing is that one approves of oneself. (Yes, standing on the shoulders of giants today, but hey, a bit of philosophy never hurts...)
 

C. Dave Run

Well-known Member
I still maintain, if you want to play with other musicians or have anyone listen to your music, you seek approval.
Maybe. Some folks love "you guys are awesome", and some get tired of hearing it. And some I'm sure become numb to it, just dont hear it anymore.

I'm not a people person, or very trusting, so I get weary of people coming up to me. Not a very good personality trait for a working musician.
 

Sausagetoad

Member
Approval seeking is an ego trip. And while we all 'have' egos, the best way to deal with them is to be so involved in something that the sense of self disappears. That's what drumming did for me, put me in the true here and now. It's not so much about being a 'big shot,' although recognition by one's peers is a natural consequence of achieving a certain level of accomplishment. I take it with a grain of salt though, because I know that my playing pales in comparison to many others. The main thing is that one approves of oneself. (Yes, standing on the shoulders of giants today, but hey, a bit of philosophy never hurts...)
Also...if you're playing, and you're thinking "look at me, aren't I cool," you're not paying enough attention to what you're doing.
 

JimmyM

Gold Member
I sold the drums for a profit but the cymbals are what my A list personal collection is based around.

Comprised of Masterworks and SoulTones, he hand selected from lots of the best cymbals at this one place (He was a pro playing with big names, so he got great treatment where he used to buy)
Well now I have to take back my approval since you didn't mention that you sold them. OTOH, you did make a profit, and I heartily approve of selling things you buy at a profit. So I guess it's back on.
 

JimmyM

Gold Member
I have not drummed in front of anyone for 20 years now. Yet I still love to do it. If I was the only person left on earth I would still drum. If I was seeking approval, I certainly would not continue to drum by myself.
But you did at one time. Ha...busted!!!

:D
 

Sausagetoad

Member
Maybe. Some folks love "you guys are awesome", and some get tired of hearing it. And some I'm sure become numb to it, just dont hear it anymore.

I'm not a people person, or very trusting, so I get weary of people coming up to me. Not a very good personality trait for a working musician.
"You guys are awesome" can be as irritating as "Can you play "In a Gadda Da Vida?" :ROFLMAO:
 

JimmyM

Gold Member
Also...if you're playing, and you're thinking "look at me, aren't I cool," you're not paying enough attention to what you're doing.
I have to disagree, sorry. I can't stand to see bands in cargo shorts and flip flops staring at their hands. Plus it's "show business," which means the show is more important than the business since it gets top billing. Looking cool doesn't come naturally to me, either, so I have to work at it a bit.
 

Sausagetoad

Member
I have to disagree, sorry. I can't stand to see bands in cargo shorts and flip flops staring at their hands. Plus it's "show business," which means the show is more important than the business since it gets top billing. Looking cool doesn't come naturally to me, either, so I have to work at it a bit.
I wasn't referring to how one looks on stage, but one's focus.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry" - Administrator
Staff member
Well now I have to take back my approval since you didn't mention that you sold them. OTOH, you did make a profit, and I heartily approve of selling things you buy at a profit. So I guess it's back on
Phew, I evened out in your eyes. Another disaster averted. :p
 

JimmyM

Gold Member
I did, and I became extremely withdrawn from it. I would show up, set up, sound check, leave. I would return to play, tear down, leave again. I wouldnt hang out with fans or even watch the other bands.

Being a working musician is not for me.
It affects people differently, for sure. It ended up being the place I'm most comfortable and at ease in my life. At least it was till I had the bright idea to take up drums again...sheesh! Last time I got up, I was real stiff. Took me 10 minutes to even sound like I knew a little about playing.
 

wraub

Gold Member
I played bass in a lot of different bands and situations over a lot of years, and received praise and approval. I've done that- it was good, I was appreciative.

As a drummer I seek skill and information, I'm a long way from seeking approval for my drumming. I'm playing and trying to learn, and I'm enjoying that.
 

Sausagetoad

Member
My focus is on entertaining, unless I'm being paid to provide the music while someone else entertains. I strive to be perfect in my playing, but it never is no matter what I do, so at least I can do some cool moves :D
As a drummer, I never really considered it my primary role in the backline to directly entertain the crowd, the guys in the front do that. People found me entertaining to watch because of my facial expressions and intensity when I drummed, but I always though the best way I could entertain from 'back there' was to play well.
 

Rattlin' Bones

Gold Member
Unless you are content to stay home and musically masturbate, I think we *have* to seek some sort of approval. We may not need praise, or applause, etc, but the willingness of other musicians to play with us is a type of approval.

I think there are degrees of this, and some people may seek an unhealthy amount of approval, or seek it in an unhealthy way.

But to those who just say "Nope, I don't need anyone's approval!", I say I don't really believe you. 😉
I don't believe them either. Nobody gets on a stage in front of an audience and doesn't seek approval. It's kinda what performing is all about. Or else you'd just stay in your basement.
 
Top