This,Doc, Abby doesn't know squat about heads so she instead suggests playing your backbeats at a slightly flatter angle and not hitting quite as hard. In fact, with the level of power you're using it's possible that you're losing volume through choking.
I've seen so many top players get their snare sounding strong without smacking super hard, eg. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS6nhP5pX74.
Refining your stroke a little might not only spare your heads but also add some extra tastiness to your playing.
It's the drummers who hit down upon the drum who seem to dent heads the most. The folks that either sit way up high and/or put the snare down between their legs so the stick is at least at a 30 degree angle when they hit it. I've seen folks bang down on drums at almost a 45, makes me cringe every time. I know Ringo used to have the snare down fairly low, but I always thought he was sitting up so high because Brian wanted people to see him too.