I'd still want to understand what he was trying to covey, even if he couldn't do it himself. That would be especially true if he was a brilliant guitar player. I always want the information. I may toss it in the trash can, but then, there might also be some gold in the info/idea being conveyed. No need for immediate defense.
Here is one of my favorite stories of a band member telling a guitarist to stay in his lane:
Honestly, unless he's badgering you to play your kit or show you how it's done, to me it's a non-issue. The guy could claim to be a brain surgeon. Who really cares? Now, if he begins trying to micromanage you, that's a different story, but I'd wait till then to draw a line in the sand.
My last drum teacher had a great mindset for this problem. I was venting to him about some band member that said the same thing to me. My drum teacher responded with "everybody thinks they can play the drums".
Or a Texas shuffle.
I always welcome feedback in any band setting. Since this guy wrote many of our songs I take his suggestions quite seriously. I figured after a few months of this I would just turn the sticks over to him- in a welcoming manner - and let him play. I am a believer in being able to learn from any situation. What I learned from this is I listen to the drummer he hears in his head, but not his playing.
This! Haven't we all tried to convey ideas to guitar, bass, keys and vocalists in bands we're in?
OP here...
I would agree to that if you only knew how to play drums and were kind of a beginner. In my case I can play drums and I have been playing for over 35 years so not a beginner. I also have a good ear for parts on other instruments kind of like Lars who can re-arrange things and make them much better. I usually don't say much but will suggest some things when it's appropriate. I have so far not had many problems with guitar players or bassists accepting my suggestions. But yes, it is usually better to not say anything most of the time. Finally I would never be in a band where I have no say in how things are done.My last drum teacher had a great mindset for this problem. I was venting to him about some band member that said the same thing to me. My drum teacher responded with "everybody thinks they can play the drums".
I was never good at keeping my mouth shut, which is part of why I was in 41 different bands in roughly 15 years. I really hate to admit this, but if you are not a lead singer, or a main song-writer, sometimes you just gotta shut up and be a doormat. I just wish I could follow my own advice.
Do your bands travel to various venues and competitions? Is your drummer responsible for kit setup & strike? Do they carry the gear from the truck into the venue?
I understand this and have experienced it myself. In the moment, I say nothing and stay low key. But once I get home, I start processing those comments and will wonder if the guy was indirectly suggesting I don't know what I'm doing. I still try to keep peace and just blow it off. Sometimes it's hard.
Nice. I wish this principle was in place at my kids' school.
I use LiveBPM (Android and Iphone) for this purpose. It displays the BPM that the band is playing and has, I think, a 10 minute history. Only issue is it displays in 4/4 so if the song is 90 BPM in 12/8 (or 6/8) it will split the difference between 90 BPM and 180BPM (Double time) and show the 4/4 equivalent of 135BPM...assuming that the band is at 90BPM in 12/8. It was easy to get used to and when the band says we were too fast or too slow I just show them the BPM monitor...assuming I didn't speed up. They have stopped asking.
