Canceling one gig for a better one. I don’t want to be that guy, but…

DrumDoug

DrumDoug

Senior Member
I play with a couple country bar bands and fill in with a few more groups. I’ve always had a policy of the first group to book a date gets it with very rare exceptions. Twice lately I’ve broken that rule and I feel guilty about it. In the first case I was booked in a tiny bar that pays $60 and I have to pay for a bridge toll to get there. I was contacted by a promoter who is bringing in a lower level Nashville artist to play three shows over that weekend spread out between San Francisco and Sacramento. He’s hiring local musicians to back him up. I’m trading one low paying gig for three better paying ones, but also establishing a relationship with the promoter. The other case is with the other country band playing in a restaurant/bar for slightly better money but still just a bar gig. A player I fill in with in another band called about filling in with his other tribute band. They are playing large theaters. I didn’t want to say no because he will just find someone else to fill in and I would miss out on some good gigs. Both circumstances make sense from a business perspective. It’s not just one gig paying better than another, It’s about establishing relationships, getting future work with them and not missing out on gig opportunities. I still feel guilty though.
 
I also use the "first on the calendar, first choice" thing with my 4 bands, and they all know it.

My jazz and country bands are the most flexible in these situations b/c we have 2 other guys that like to play if I can't. That band is still a serious band, but I am the only non-retired guy in it, and our leader often books daytime luncheons etc, so they know I can't do those kind of gigs. I get first choice though as I am told I am the best guy to play with from a musical standpoint.

I have never cancelled a gig for anything other than sickness, and that has only happened once that I can remember b/c I will play sick, as long as there is no risk of getting the others sick.

all of my badns know that if one of them starts to "take off", I would commit to that band fully, but I don't see that happening in the near future
 
The hazard of "first come, first serve" for multi-band commitments is that you will occasionally miss out on a good gig. But I would argue that breaking your rule will hurt you more in the long run. You'll lose any level of trust and credibility you've built with the losing band, and they will potentially start looking to permanently replace you. I say don't do it.
 
cbphoto said:
Kudos to you! I doubt I could memorize enough music to play in four bands.
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well, 2 of them are original bands, so we write the stuff, and that is easy for me to remember.

But Go Robot, Go!!, the surf punky/lo-fi alt rock band has over 200 originals over the past 30 years. I actually can play most of them still...
 
Context and how you go about it really matters, and what it means for the band you cancel on. Is the whole gig canceled and it is a big deal for the other members who have had it on their calendar for a while? Or do they have a sub? Worked hard to get the gig or easy to reschedule?

Are you telling the bands the truth as to why you are canceling? Or are you just saying you're unavailable and kind of lying by omission? If a bandmate presented to me your first situation for example, I'd almost insist they took the other 3 gigs...
 
skeletonwitch said:
Context and how you go about it really matters, and what it means for the band you cancel on. Is the whole gig canceled and it is a big deal for the other members who have had it on their calendar for a while? Or do they have a sub? Worked hard to get the gig or easy to reschedule?

Are you telling the bands the truth as to why you are canceling? Or are you just saying you're unavailable and kind of lying by omission? If a bandmate presented to me your first situation for example, I'd almost insist they took the other 3 gigs...
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Yeah, I totally agree with all of this. Communication (and honesty) is key.
 
Yeah, I have to agree with both it "will hurt you more in the long run" and "context" matters. If you went to the bands and said "look I will honor my commitment but this fantastic opportunity has come up and is there any chance you can find someone to fill in for me", that would not burn bridges. Of course, if they can't find a fill in, then your stuck doing the gig. Creating a reputation that you will cancel for better gigs will likely spread and hurt you in the long term.

Just my thoughts. I am in two bands and occasionally sub in for other bands on a first come first serve basis. I have lost better opportunities, but that is life. I am, however, retired and don't depend on the money from gigs...other than to support my GAS problem;)
 
Both country bands have subs. I’ve already scheduled one. Their old drummer is going to cover the gig. They know about the three day gig. I have a sub for the other band and he’s available, just waiting on me to confirm. I’m waiting on the tribute theater gig is Sacramento to confirm. That country band has issues I’ve discussed on here before. The leader let his girlfriend join the band and they get into huge fights at gigs. He’s since joined another band as a sideman and isn’t booking anything new for our band. In fact he’s cancelled three gigs in the last two months. We’ve gone from five or six gigs a month to three for the rest of the year. It’s less stressful for him. He says the band isn’t breaking up, but still. If I take the other gig I will let him know why.
 
I am on the fence with this one. On one hand, yeah, honor the commitments made. On the other, people lose gigs all the time for much dumber reasons than I got a better offer. Given the last post, I would probably do it and not think to much about it. Subs were available
 
DrumDoug said:
Both country bands have subs. I’ve already scheduled one.
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That's the correct way to handle it, making sure those bands are covered.
 
DrumDoug said:
Both country bands have subs. I’ve already scheduled one. Their old drummer is going to cover the gig. They know about the three day gig. I have a sub for the other band and he’s available, just waiting on me to confirm. I’m waiting on the tribute theater gig is Sacramento to confirm. That country band has issues I’ve discussed on here before. The leader let his girlfriend join the band and they get into huge fights at gigs. He’s since joined another band as a sideman and isn’t booking anything new for our band. In fact he’s cancelled three gigs in the last two months. We’ve gone from five or six gigs a month to three for the rest of the year. It’s less stressful for him. He says the band isn’t breaking up, but still. If I take the other gig I will let him know why.
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Sounds like you should be totally guilt-free. Subs acquired, honesty, and unusual situations that are likely to be one-offs.
 
If there's a dep for the other band you've done it the right way. Just be honest with them. You'll be amazed how cool folk are when you're straight with them.

I'm a first come, first served guy too but I rarely do pub gigs and definitely not between April and December when the very good payers come in.

You have to make music pay and you kinda nailed it when you said the promoter will get someone else. Grab it with both hands and hopefully it leads to better things.
 
As long as you make sure you've got the $60 gig covered, go where the money and opportunity is.
 
If the band that you cancel on and find subs for don’t cheer you on and are happy for your opportunity, then maybe you shouldn’t be with them in the first place. If any band members I play with gets an opportunity to play a great gig without me, then I’m really happy for them! I only want the best for everyone I play with.

I sometimes feel like the crazy one in that I feel that all musicians are on the same team. I don’t feel like I’m in competition with anyone.
 
You might not know until down the track if you’ve burned a bridge and if your risk led to more work. Hopefully works out well.
 
DrumDoug said:
I play with a couple country bar bands and fill in with a few more groups. I’ve always had a policy of the first group to book a date gets it with very rare exceptions. Twice lately I’ve broken that rule and I feel guilty about it. In the first case I was booked in a tiny bar that pays $60 and I have to pay for a bridge toll to get there. I was contacted by a promoter who is bringing in a lower level Nashville artist to play three shows over that weekend spread out between San Francisco and Sacramento. He’s hiring local musicians to back him up. I’m trading one low paying gig for three better paying ones, but also establishing a relationship with the promoter. The other case is with the other country band playing in a restaurant/bar for slightly better money but still just a bar gig. A player I fill in with in another band called about filling in with his other tribute band. They are playing large theaters. I didn’t want to say no because he will just find someone else to fill in and I would miss out on some good gigs. Both circumstances make sense from a business perspective. It’s not just one gig paying better than another, It’s about establishing relationships, getting future work with them and not missing out on gig opportunities. I still feel guilty though.
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alparrott said:
The hazard of "first come, first serve" for multi-band commitments is that you will occasionally miss out on a good gig. But I would argue that breaking your rule will hurt you more in the long run. You'll lose any level of trust and credibility you've built with the losing band, and they will potentially start looking to permanently replace you. I say don't do it.
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Unless you provide an alternate drummer to cover the gig you are not playing, don't just leave the band hanging.. I feel like the only way you can get away with regularly doing that is if you happen to be a very in demand drummer (not sure if you are or not). Still that should be a last resort kind of thing you don't want to unnecessarily burn bridges.
 
I actually left a band 6 years ago because they did not have a sub. They also had neither bookings nor good pay, so it didn't make sense to wait for conflict with another really good project.

I subbed for their new guy last weekend, and the leader said "We don't play all that often, so come back if you'd like" and I said "Erm, that's why I left!"


Dan
 
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