Can you really go back?

Bo Eder

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
Although I do have designated bands and projects I'm involved with, I do still meet with new people just to play together to see if there's a future match in there somewhere. Today was sorta amusing and terrifying at the same time. I played with punk rockers in my age range (late-50s to mid-60s). I said yes and was intrigued because I had never met anyone in this crowd before.

So two guitar players and a bass player show up at my house (their singer couldn't make it) and they're nice people, they all own houses and have career jobs (something nobody would have in their 20s), and they had just gotten back playing the Blackpool Festival in England (we're in California). I figure they're professional enough to have a couple of independent records out and have a following that gets them to England every year. They tell me they've been together since 1990 as they've evolved from their high school days. {Whoda thunk? My high school friends are happy that we talk to each other still, let alone play music together! - I've left that crowd behind decades ago}.

The situation was like this: you remember how you always wanted nice stuff when you were a kid? Well, these guys had nice stuff - Marshall stacks and Gibson Les Pauls, etc.,....but they essentially played in the same manner as they would've back in 1990. Everything was fast and loud, and whatever they kicked a song off at, it ended up going faster anyway. I wasn't sure if anybody was listening to each other - funnier when you realize these guys are pushing 60 or in their 60s. Without saying anything, I thought these guys were pretty authentic. They acknowledge they could've been better musicians by now, but they just love playing what they're playing, and seem to really be into it for the music they make - that kind of happiness I felt when I first got in a band in high school, these guys have. But now it's magnitudes louder because they all own these huge amps with the best electronics in their guitars. It was something to see.

So I wonder if, at my age, if I have that same kind of joy now. I play out alot, and play with quite a few different people, but I don't think I have that unbridled joy I had when I was 14 because of all the adulting that has taken place in my last 50 years or so. And if I don't have it anymore, should I? I like playing music and drums, but I'm happy when the audience is really digging it and if I do something that makes them go "wow - did you see that?" then I'm happy they're happy. Is that how it should be? Or should it be another way?

These guys also weren't so concerned with the money they were making (I'm like this too since I already have a career job) - but at least I'm getting something every time I go out - meaning I may have made that transition to turning myself into a little business (especially with my new band that gets paid for everything they do). They're just such a contrast to my paying bands (which are the same age). The music isn't executed perfectly, but that raw punk energy is there (tbh - they'd like me to play with them on a regular basis, but know I'm busy - and I don't know if I can slam that fast and loud for every song all night).

This just has me thinking of the reasons we do drumming and music - I know it's probably different for everyone, but today was like looking back on my teen years with some old men who are still there. I wonder where I'm actually at now.....
 
I love music and I love playing drums. I can't go a day without having some sort of musical instrument in my hand. I also love playing or jamming with my old bandmates. we still make songs for various projects. Not for the $$ aspect as we all have "day jobs", just for the enjoyment of playing.
I have done the whole scene of playing shows and such here and there at venues or wherever I was required to go play and that was fun and satisfying for me but, I have never really enjoyed the whole atmosphere of the live scene. I would just rather play and jam for fun for my own personal satisfaction. I guess because I am 50 now and I would rather be home at reasonable hours. The only drawback now is that I have to set everything up myself! HaHa!
Cheers!
Eric
 
Thomas Wolfe's - You Can't Go Home Again

The title is reinforced in the denouement of the novel in which Webber realizes: "You can't go back home to your family, back home to your childhood ... back home to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame ... back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting, but which are changing all the time – back home to the escapes of Time and Memory."
 
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I think a lot of life can be summed up in my relationship with my wife of 44 years. We don't have to be joined at the hip (or any place else :oops:) to enjoy our time together. We're both comfortable knowing that the other is comfortable and satisfied. 44 years ago we were learning to love each other and I think, for the most part, that now our love and relationship is complete. The learning about each other is no longer an exponential curve. And for what it's worth, I know that I can't - and that I wouldn't - want to go back. Would I live my life any different if allowed to start over? Maybe, but if I did anything differently, would I be "here" 44 years later? I'm not sure I would.

Rambling.

Yesterday was, today is and tomorrow probably will be. Enjoy where, how, who and when you are in your own skin. Today.
 
I really only play in original bands now for the simple reason that it gives me a creative outlet. The opportunity to display creativity and put my personal sonic signature on a song is something I love. It is what drives and motivates me.

I have nothing against people who play in cover bands, it just isn't my thing. I could certainly make more money if I played in a cover band, but I would rather create something at home by myself than try to recreate something that has already been done.
 
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There's so many good things in here Bo. I feel much the same way you do in so many respects.

Bo Eder said:
They acknowledge they could've been better musicians by now, but they just love playing what they're playing, and seem to really be into it for the music they make - that kind of happiness I felt when I first got in a band in high school, these guys have. But now it's magnitudes louder because they all own these huge amps with the best electronics in their guitars. It was something to see.
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There are a couple of drummers locally who seem to be stuck in a certain genre. One guy bought a Tama concert tom and Zildjian A series cymbals kit back in the early 1980s, and this is the same kit he uses today. He also plays them just like he did then when he was in a hair-metal band...no matter what kind of music is being played.

There's another drummer in town who is stuck in the nu metal genre. That's all he plays, and that's all he seems to want to play. He's a great hard rock drummer, but I don't think he's ever going to pick up a pair of brushes.

Bo Eder said:
So I wonder if, at my age, if I have that same kind of joy now. I play out alot, and play with quite a few different people, but I don't think I have that unbridled joy I had when I was 14 because of all the adulting that has taken place in my last 50 years or so. And if I don't have it anymore, should I? I like playing music and drums, but I'm happy when the audience is really digging it and if I do something that makes them go "wow - did you see that?" then I'm happy they're happy. Is that how it should be? Or should it be another way?
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Life has its way of wearing on you after a while. For me, there's been a demystification of drumming that has come with time. Yes, it's fun and I enjoy the heck out of it; however, I sort of understand how it all works together now. The more I learn, the better I get, but I'll be the first to admit that it doesn't have the magic that it once had, and I'm perfectly ok with this.

Bo Eder said:
This just has me thinking of the reasons we do drumming and music - I know it's probably different for everyone, but today was like looking back on my teen years with some old men who are still there. I wonder where I'm actually at now.....
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I think there's a lot of value in not still "being there." I think it's growth and experience. With those things comes a lot of good judgement calls due to experience.
 
The guys at local jams for years before COVID and now they're back post-COVID playing the same tired Mustang Sally and Poke Salad Annie. Some of them sit in chairs on stage they don't even stand. They are there every week. They call it a jam but for most of the jam it's same fellas. They never got past covers of 50 year old songs. Nothing original. Nothing fresh. They have dour faces and exude sour dispositions. That's one reason I liked the blues band I recently retired from. They were always digging up fresh material, and our shows, while including some blues songs that you hear everywhere, the shows were predominately very traditional blues you don't hear other bands playing. And the jazz combo I'm still in is always doing something new, and since I'm new to jazz (and very marginal as a player) most of it is new to me. Tunes new to me like Little Sunflower, or turning Comes Love upside down and playing it as a Latin tune on A's then switching to Swing on the B's - all that keeps playing fresh for me. The jazz is a huge challenge to me and I'm marginal at best, but they tolerate me. Plus, it feeds my Jones for new drums and cymbals - always looking for a slight better sound or this or that for jazz. Has me listening to Smalls and Mezzrow's live feeds. Smalls is great that have one camera shot behind and above drummer.

But.......would I want to "go back" to playing music I played as a teenager? No. I like it on the radio and playlists and CD's. But I have no desire to play rock or pop from the 60's and 70's.

FYI those dudes that showed up at your house Bo - how did that come about? That Blackpool festival seats 15,000 crazy punkers it's a big deal. How did they connect with you?
 
I feel that now it would be much better for me in the sense that now I have the gear I would have loved to have when I started, I have a vehicle, I didn't when I started so I had to depend on others to get to gigs (No bueno as discussed on another thread). I am a much better musician than I was when I started, (even though I am starting to struggle to keep up with my younger self), I don't know how I was able to play at those speeds for that long (some gigs were almost 4 hours at friends parties). I can still play those songs but man what a freaking workout!. (That must be the secret, It was cardio enough to be good for me).
So, for all those good things I feel like I would enjoy playing now a lot more than I did back then, to me it has not lost it's luster after all these years.
Now I don't have to daydream of having a good PA system or even good drums or a pedal that doesn't fall apart after every song (hence why I will never go back to pedals without a base plate!).
Or having to be gentle on the sticks because I didn't have $$ to buy more.
Breaking a cymbal was like losing a loved one because it was impossible to replace (almost impossible for me back then not enough money to buy clothes let alone luxuries such as cymbals). I guess the only thing that has not changed is that I have for some stupid reason I have always been the one member of the band that cares about things such as stage presentation (and I don't mean us looking good which is not a requirement) I meant to have a front man that talks to the audience in between songs, to not EVER tune with your amps turned up ( tuning guitars should be silent) and to never get on stage if you are not going to play within the next 30 seconds MAX. (Can't stand it when a band gets on stage, spends the next 20 minutes farting around with tunning (full volume) and then LEAVE the stage and return to do it all over in 15 minutes.. and I've seen lots of bands doing this.
Other things are going to rehearsal after we have discussed the set list (in the case of a cover's band) and they didn't even listened to or practiced on their own even once while I got the songs so embedded in my memory I am having dreams about playing them!. I understand that most people are not as committed to their instrument as I am but man some basic stuff applies to anyone.
 
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Son of Vistalite Black said:
Enthusiasm (if sincere) is a far more desirable quality than technical precision, whether it’s music or romance.
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Yep...I'm almost 10 years older than the other 3 guys in our band (I'm 55), but I have perma-stoke about the music. Every rehearsal, I bring a genuine enthusiasm for playing these kick-ass rock songs. I think that's why we get on so well, because the stoke and enthusiam for the music is always high.

Since joining the band in February, my inner-16yo has been completely reinvigorated.
 
awesome stuff from everybody so far!!!!

I am still a fiercely proud metal head/punker/D&D nerd/ice rink rat/BMX junkie....

I made it a main focus of my life to not let "adulting" take away, or ruin that energy from my early years. I am 55, and am told that I still act like I am 25...which is sometimes in my favor, and sometimes to my chagrin.

but as all of my friends from that era just fell into the expected rut of "growing up", I also noticed they got more depressed, withdrawn, less healthy physically etc. I feared that happening to me, and made a personal oath to never let that happen. Growing up does not mean "getting stale" to me...

I could never see why I had to trade all of the "metal head/punker/D&D nerd/ice rink rat/BMX junkie" for "401K, filing taxes, home-owning, loan paying-offing" and other adulting things. I just added all of that stuff to it.

I am glad that I have not had to "re-find" all of those elements of my young life. The only issue now is that my body sometimes reminds me that I am 55 after a skate, or bike riding session...

and almost all of my buds who I still hang with regret making choices that put them in a situation where they had to re-find that old youthful exuberance
 
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Rattlin' Bones said:
The guys at local jams for years before COVID and now they're back post-COVID playing the same tired Mustang Sally and Poke Salad Annie. Some of them sit in chairs on stage they don't even stand. They are there every week. They call it a jam but for most of the jam it's same fellas. They never got past covers of 50 year old songs. Nothing original. Nothing fresh. They have dour faces and exude sour dispositions. That's one reason I liked the blues band I recently retired from. They were always digging up fresh material, and our shows, while including some blues songs that you hear everywhere, the shows were predominately very traditional blues you don't hear other bands playing. And the jazz combo I'm still in is always doing something new, and since I'm new to jazz (and very marginal as a player) most of it is new to me. Tunes new to me like Little Sunflower, or turning Comes Love upside down and playing it as a Latin tune on A's then switching to Swing on the B's - all that keeps playing fresh for me. The jazz is a huge challenge to me and I'm marginal at best, but they tolerate me. Plus, it feeds my Jones for new drums and cymbals - always looking for a slight better sound or this or that for jazz. Has me listening to Smalls and Mezzrow's live feeds. Smalls is great that have one camera shot behind and above drummer.

But.......would I want to "go back" to playing music I played as a teenager? No. I like it on the radio and playlists and CD's. But I have no desire to play rock or pop from the 60's and 70's.

FYI those dudes that showed up at your house Bo - how did that come about? That Blackpool festival seats 15,000 crazy punkers it's a big deal. How did they connect with you?
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They’re a southern CA punk band and one of the guitarists lives a few houses away on my street. He had heard/seen me play in the neighborhood and we struck up a conversation a couple of months ago. They were stoked getting to go to England for a few days and I followed their trip on Facebook - they played a few pubs and the big stage at the festival. They’re not used to being on stage for more than 30-minutes because that’s the format of the festivals they play: there’s so many bands that’s the only way they all get to play. They can’t fathom playing a 4 or 5 hour gig like I can do as a solo act at a Moose lodge. My regular band does the usual 3-hour gigs. I can’t imagine hauling all that beautiful gear they own around just to play for half an hour 😉
 
Bo Eder said:
They’re a southern CA punk band and one of the guitarists lives a few houses away on my street. He had heard/seen me play in the neighborhood and we struck up a conversation a couple of months ago. They were stoked getting to go to England for a few days and I followed their trip on Facebook - they played a few pubs and the big stage at the festival. They’re not used to being on stage for more than 30-minutes because that’s the format of the festivals they play: there’s so many bands that’s the only way they all get to play. They can’t fathom playing a 4 or 5 hour gig like I can do as a solo act at a Moose lodge. My regular band does the usual 3-hour gigs. I can’t imagine hauling all that beautiful gear they own around just to play for half an hour 😉
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Very cool.
 
Great topic.

They acknowledge they could've been better musicians by now, but they just love playing what they're playing, and seem to really be into it for the music they make - that kind of happiness I felt when I first got in a band in high school, these guys have.

Reminds me of seeing local bands and kind of turning my nose up when I saw a drummer I thought I was “better” than. Not only did it not matter because I wasn’t in a band and wasn’t playing out anywhere, but I was also missing the point of having fun and being creative. It’s not a contest and if anything it should motivate me to get out and make my own contribution as part of the scene.
 
Matt Suda said:
Great topic.

They acknowledge they could've been better musicians by now, but they just love playing what they're playing, and seem to really be into it for the music they make - that kind of happiness I felt when I first got in a band in high school, these guys have.

Reminds me of seeing local bands and kind of turning my nose up when I saw a drummer I thought I was “better” than. Not only did it not matter because I wasn’t in a band and wasn’t playing out anywhere, but I was also missing the point of having fun and being creative. It’s not a contest and if anything it should motivate me to get out and make my own contribution as part of the scene.
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I admit as a young gun I may have done that too - heck, in college that’s practically bred in to you if you’re not that way already - but I’m glad I learned early it’s about the fun - and I gravitated away from my college buddies. And a lot of those guys are still bitter in their 50s. It’s sad.
 
Bo Eder said:
They’re a southern CA punk band and one of the guitarists lives a few houses away on my street. He had heard/seen me play in the neighborhood and we struck up a conversation a couple of months ago. They were stoked getting to go to England for a few days and I followed their trip on Facebook - they played a few pubs and the big stage at the festival. They’re not used to being on stage for more than 30-minutes because that’s the format of the festivals they play: there’s so many bands that’s the only way they all get to play. They can’t fathom playing a 4 or 5 hour gig like I can do as a solo act at a Moose lodge. My regular band does the usual 3-hour gigs. I can’t imagine hauling all that beautiful gear they own around just to play for half an hour 😉
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so funny that you mention the timing at festival gigs....that is all I knew growing up --->
get yoiur crap on ASAP
blow through 30 minutes of fast loud music
get your crap off ASAP

that instinct is so inbred in me that after a 3 hour gig with my cover bands, I still jump off of the stool, get things off the stage and put away as quick as possible. I get made fun of it too...those guys are all pout in the crowd talking, getting a drink...the ysay i look like a ferret zipping around.

but I can't not do that. If I stand around for even 30 seconds, I feel like i am in the way of the next group getting up there
 
I think it’s still fun to play rock but I have no desire to blast a bar at 1 am and get home at 4 with ringing ears anymore.
 
Bo Eder said:
These guys also weren't so concerned with the money they were making (I'm like this too since I already have a career job) - but at least I'm getting something every time I go out - meaning I may have made that transition to turning myself into a little business (especially with my new band that gets paid for everything they do). They're just such a contrast to my paying bands (which are the same age). The music isn't executed perfectly, but that raw punk energy is there (tbh - they'd like me to play with them on a regular basis, but know I'm busy - and I don't know if I can slam that fast and loud for every song all night).
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What strikes me is that you have made musical choices and decisions that have kept you fresh and relevant -and your level of musicianship has evolved as a result. From what I've observed of you here on DW, I don't think you would have much satisfaction for long living in a time warp. Works for some like your friends and that's ok, I just don't see it being you. Being around bitter musicians is not a recipe for good long term health.
;)
 
Tamboreter said:
What strikes me is that you have made musical choices and decisions that have kept you fresh and relevant -and your level of musicianship has evolved as a result. From what I've observed of you here on DW, I don't think you would have much satisfaction for long living in a time warp. Works for some like your friends and that's ok, I just don't see it being you. Being around bitter musicians is not a recipe for good long term health.
;)
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I concur. Watching these guys play in my house reminded me of when I had guys over my parents house in the garage making noise in high school. And they genuinely were enjoying themselves. So I was just wondering if I was at that same level of enthusiasm when I do stuff today. I know I’m more cerebral now because I’m thinking of a lot of what the music requires to make the audience happy, rather then what makes me happy (which I guess means I can’t go back to being sub-18 again). And I just have that old Billy Joel song in my head: “….the good ol’ days weren’t always good and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems….”
 
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