Can I sit in? How do you handle this request?

PorkPieGuy said:
I don't know if this counts, but one night I played at this god-awful place. After we finished, this very, very drunk guy came up to me and told me he played drums too, and he wanted to challenge me to a "beat off."

:oops:

I'm assuming he meant drums.

In either case, the answer was no.
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We even had a guy show up at a wedding who carried backing tracks on portable USB stick claiming to be a professional singer asking to do a set after we'd finished playing so it's not just drums lol!

He was politely told where to stick his USB stick

Otto said:
I do however offer to rent equipment from local dealers for them with 7 days advance notice, 7 day advance CASH deposit to cover full replacement(full refundable following return inspection and deduction for wear and tear) all for 30% of the drummers take for the night or $500 (whichever is higher)- drummers $ take verified with the venue/band leader....needless to say I am not taken up on the offer. (its always fun to pull out the contract and indicated where they can sign and remind them that deposit is advance cash only payable on signing)

"oh, read the section on the back...$ per mile of transport and i do not perform set-up tear down...failure to have the equipment ready for pickup by the contracted date/time incurs additional fees to be taken from the deposit prorated by 15 minute increments at the rate listed below"
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We had someone chance their arm asking if some wedding guests could play a set on our gear in a gig enquiry. We said no to the gig but we were very close to saying yes with something similar to the above.

It's a genius idea!
 
I have only had this happen once to me, and it was a 95 year old resident at a nursing home we played at. One of the staff members told me he was a drummer, so I actually asked him if hew would like to play a tune. He got up there and did a pretty cool version of Basin Street Blues with the band. We talked for alomst an hour afdter the show about his experiences and his old kits. It was the least I could have done to pay respect to an old school guy. That was a great night!!!

in my other experiences, it has always been guys wanting to come up and play guitar, harmonica, sing, and even fiddle. Our leader usually lets this happen if the vibe in the room is right, and it is usually not a CF. If they are "influenced", they get a no though

I have let some guys come up after the gig is over and tap on the drums, or cymbals as we are in "gear talk mode", but that is it

I would never have the audacity to ask someone else to sit in at their gig, and have actually turned down offers when I was asked, usually b/c the reqyest was to solo, and i hate soloing
 
The time I let an acquaintance sit in is when I changed the expensive cymbals to something that probably wouldn't hurt as badly if it was broken. Also, he's host drummer at a jam and let's us use his cymbals.

The band leader for the band I let the drummer sit in with when I was leaving asked later if some drummer at a show could sit in. At the same time he asked our guitar player if someone could sit in on his stuff. The guitar player said no. I thought to myself about the drummer: You mean that guy over there? I stood right beside of him at the bar at 2nd break and he never even tried to engage me in any conversation. He wants you to get me to let him sit in? And you're saying that guy was in a Rush tribute band and you think maybe he'll be interested in playing for this band, lol? No. I'm with the guitar player on this one. No. He can't sit in. He had a every opportunity to approach me himself.
That drummer who I still don't know was not one of the 4 drummers to join that band in the last year and 3 months. However the band leader got narcissistic as usual about the situation claiming I don't want to let other drummers try out at our gigs. More BS. I let the drummer who joined the band sit in, bull-shooter. He probably asked the guy to play in hopes he could attract him as my replacement. That quality of player with that much experience wouldn't be interested. I outgrew it.
 
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Another tangent story
Playing an 'animal club' in a town in Indiana, an old dude clutching a chromatic harp asks to sit in.
We get him up the next set and he plays a solo in every tune we did, world class musicianship, we were pretty amazed at his talent and chops.
Talking to him on break, we find out that he once had a harmonica group that was on the Tonight Show and was the Harmonicats' main competition. We invited him to come to a popular blues bar and sit in with us. Never happened.
Glad we got him up, he had stuff for every genre and truly deserved our respect as a player.
 
moodman said:
Another tangent story
Playing an 'animal club' in a town in Indiana, an old dude clutching a chromatic harp asks to sit in.
We get him up the next set and he plays a solo in every tune we did, world class musicianship, we were pretty amazed at his talent and chops.
Talking to him on break, we find out that he once had a harmonica group that was on the Tonight Show and was the Harmonicats' main competition. We invited him to come to a popular blues bar and sit in with us. Never happened.
Glad we got him up, he had stuff for every genre and truly deserved our respect as a player.
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our band leaader has let some pretty goot cats sit in with us. Local legends a few times from what I am told. They were always polite, complimentary etc. One guitar player told me I have "the most comfortable shuffle pocket I have ever played in". I was humbled for sure...and jokingly asked if he was hearing the jukebox out on the patio
 
Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX said:
our band leaader has let some pretty goot cats sit in with us. Local legends a few times from what I am told. They were always polite, complimentary etc. One guitar player told me I have "the most comfortable shuffle pocket I have ever played in". I was humbled for sure...and jokingly asked if he was hearing the jukebox out on the patio
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I really appreciate those sort of comments from good players, helps feed the confidence we all need as drummers,
Nice shuffle my friend.
 
moodman said:
Another tangent story
Playing an 'animal club' in a town in Indiana, an old dude clutching a chromatic harp asks to sit in.
We get him up the next set and he plays a solo in every tune we did, world class musicianship, we were pretty amazed at his talent and chops.
Talking to him on break, we find out that he once had a harmonica group that was on the Tonight Show and was the Harmonicats' main competition. We invited him to come to a popular blues bar and sit in with us. Never happened.
Glad we got him up, he had stuff for every genre and truly deserved our respect as a player.
Click to expand...
Nothing as cool as that, but a similar sort of thing...we were playing at an American Legion hall last year, later in the evening an older fellow talks to our band leader, and then we bring him up, he had his sax in the car. Jammed a few songs with him, he tore it up. A lot of fun.
 
I go see the band I used to be the drummer for. I'm good friends with the current guy & he asks me to sit in all the time (mainly for the reason that he's tired). :ROFLMAO:
The other guys are fine with it, but after my issue with the bass player, I now decline and he understands. It's fun to see them do their thing from a spectator's perspective and I'm just fine with it staying that way.

Even though I'm a hired gun, I don't get asked, (nor do I ask) to sit in with anyone. It just feels wrong to me.
 
Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX said:
I have only had this happen once to me, and it was a 95 year old resident at a nursing home we played at. One of the staff members told me he was a drummer, so I actually asked him if hew would like to play a tune. He got up there and did a pretty cool version of Basin Street Blues with the band. We talked for alomst an hour afdter the show about his experiences and his old kits. It was the least I could have done to pay respect to an old school guy. That was a great night!!!
Click to expand...
Bloody love this…👏😍
 
I'll mention a few times when sit-ins were a positive experience. Once, ahead of time, we were approached by the groom in a wedding reception if he could get his entire band up there. We were being paid well, so we agreed. Those guys played about a half hour! We went and had a few cocktails and had (more) food. We were being paid no matter what, so we would have been ok with an hour set. And they were pretty good!

Another time, my band was playing a party for a personal injury lawyer, who had a huge house and a driveway you could land a plane on. He asked if his young kid and friends could play. We knew what we were getting into, but we okayed it. They were a DMB/Phish jammy band. All Along The Watchtower felt like it was a month long, but the kids were happy as heck and so was the dad, who tipped us handsomely. And again, all time we didn't have to play for.


Dan
 
Generally no - unless I know the drummer and I ask them to get up and play a few. Turns out I know a lot of drummers that are pros! I really enjoy listening to a great drummer play my kit from the back of the hall - mainly for sound checking my kit when a crowd of people are there, to get the true audience experience. I've never been disappointed.
If it's an unknown person who claims to play drums and begging to get up - it's a hard No.. as I can guarantee the dude is a poser and can't keep time to save their lives.

I remember 35 years ago in a bar with a duo act - bass and guitar vocalists. They were good - but would have been great with a drummer. We'd had a lot of beers.. and my buddies egged me on to go and ask them if they wanted a drummer. They were relentless! So in between sets I saw them at the bar and started chatting.. really friendly had some laughs.. so now was the time to broach the subject -something like ' I live 5 minutes away, I could throw my small kit in my car and be setup in 20 minutes if you want some light drum accompaniemnt'
Well.. the lock on their faces instantly flipped upside down - like they'd seen a ghost and were slowly backing away. They mumbled something about they have a pro drummer in another city and they were good! Lol.
Those guys eventually went on to be the backing band that recorded many albums and toured the world many times with Jane Siberry the quirky folk artist.
 
If I get approached on my gig for someone to sit in, it depends on if I know the drummer or not. If I don't know them, the answer will always be "No". If I do know them; I'll obviously know how they play and can base my decision from there. Usually it's a "Yes", but I always make sure they are sober etc.

I have only asked to sit in with a band I didn't know one time. I agree with most of you here, it does seem "tacky" to ask to sit in, especially when you don't know anyone in the band. I was in Boulder, Colorado on business and came across a four piece band in a hotel lobby. They had two acoustic guitarists who sang (one male, one female) a bassist and a drummer. It was mostly country type light swing with a touch of jazz thrown in. I really liked the sound of this band and they had done a few tunes that I knew. I talked to the drummer on a break and we both discovered we were North Texas alumni. I asked if I could play a tune or two and he said, "Sure, I was just going to ask if you wanted to play a few", so it was a "mutual" sit in-win! I'm glad he wasn't a hard no kind of guy!

Anytime you sit in, always make sure you smile, have a great attitude, be complimentary both in your words and in your playing. Don't show off and don't think you're the star. Be supportive, do what's right for the song and give the other musicians the foundation to build their house on. That's what I did in that particular situation and everyone was happy, especially me.
 
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