Band break ups

bearblastbeats

Senior Member
I don't know if I am alone here, but whenever one of my bands end, it just feels like a serious break up with a girlfriend.

Most of the time when I have gotten in a group and the band ended the people don't talk anymore really.

I always have made some of my very close friends through music, but recently within the past year or two I have tried to start 3 individual bands after one another and they have all ended, and none of the members and myself talk to the other people.

It also seems to be over the most petty things. One we had an overly emotional singer, another we had a really terrible guitar player which everyone hated to work with, now this time my current project split up over a couch and some dick head moves, not serious life screwing moves, but just like "oh, I don't like where you put this couch so I'm going to move all of your drums and put them on the couch, even after you said you were going to take care of it and to not touch your drums"

Is it me or are musicians a little more sensitive and immature sometimes?
 

bermuda

Drummerworld Pro Drummer - Administrator
Staff member
Most bands are like a regular job where you get to know the people you work with and may socialize with them outside the workplace. If the relationships are solid, you stay in touch even when you leave that company/band. Don't take it too personally if it doesn't always go that way. Besides, in the music community, small or large, you often run into the same players, so try to keep any feelings in perspective.

Bermuda
 

bearblastbeats

Senior Member
I agree. I try to just stay neutral to everything and this was going to happen sooner or later. We just have really different personalities and I forfeited my part of the band room so he can have it and I'll just bring my drums back home.
 

PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
I've been in a lot of bands, and I'd have to say that I'm really good acquaintances with about 80% of them. The other 20%? They've pretty much chosen on their own to not be in touch with me for whatever reason, but I don't have any hate towards them.

I've got this friend I used to play music with that has pretty much burned through dozens of other band members and musicians in a 100-mile radius. He is now a sort of one-man rock-n-roll acoustic show because I'm pretty sure that no one will play with him anymore. He's burned through three marriages too.
 

Woolwich

Silver Member
I very much agree with Bermuda. And like an ex work colleague it's sometimes nice to check in with them JUST in case you need a job/new band somewhere down the line or end up working with them again.
And while this might not shed any light on your situation, I read a passage in John Taylor's (of Duran Duran) autobiography in which he talked about the bands second split with guitarist Andy Taylor. To paraphrase him he said that it wasn't about musical differences, it was just "differences".
 

bearblastbeats

Senior Member
I read a passage in John Taylor's (of Duran Duran) autobiography in which he talked about the bands second split with guitarist Andy Taylor. To paraphrase him he said that it wasn't about musical differences, it was just "differences".
This hit the nail on what he specifically said to me. He mentioned that I am a great drummer but him and I am just different. Which is reputable.

The real bummer was that he plays music closest to what I hear being produced in my area. C'est la vie
 
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