Last week the band leader, called a meeting. Apparently several venues we play at have said they don't want us back because we are too loud. The drama then ensued with everybody blaming everybody else for the volume problem. "I have to turn up because ____ is too loud". Of course it came up that the drums are too loud. I don't consider myself a hard hitter at all and when I see other bands playing those venues, they seem to be playing much harder than me. Last night at a open jam session, I asked another band leader I know if he thought I tend to play too hard. He has set in with the band several times. He has played with some pretty famous people and his band is made up of people who play with him when they are not on the road with fairly well know acts. In other words, I respect his opinion. He said that whenever he has set in with us and when he has watched our shows, the drums are drowned out by the rest of the band and he can barely hear them. He said the problem is the lead guitar player and the harmonica. Another drummer friend of mine who plays for a living, told me that I tend to sit way back in the mix volume wise. He thinks I need to hit harder to give the band more energy. I'm not sure what to do at this point. The band is already blaming me for some of the volume problems, but outsiders are telling me that my volume is fine, and if anything, it needs to come up. I can already hear the defensive comments if I were to suggest that I need to play louder. I'm just not sure what to do at this point. If I have to start playing much softer, I going to have to switch to brushes and rods. I do that when we play little acoustic shows, but I don't think I should when we are doing the full on electric set. Has anybody else had this problem?