I have been teaching for 30 years - as a middle/high school band director, and also privately
I also worried about the patience with students thing at first...especially middle school aged kids (10-15). I had to actually do it for about 3 years to figure out how to deal with them. But it was not that bad.
You have to end up realizing that only 50% of your students are going to take it seriously, and only 10% of that 50 will actually become professional level proficient.
you have to not let that bother you, but also be hyper aware of making sure that you did not do anything to off put them. In the same way, you have to define your own standards and not bend them. My students often say that I am one of the most demanding teachers they have, but I am alos the only one that they do not want to disappoint. I have alums of 10-20 years now who say that what they leanerd in band and drumline from me helped them in their daily adult lives....that is success!!
you have to not be afraid of failure, and then of using that failure to change the system you use
as far as what is taught? That is also as diverse as the people learning and teaching
personally, I have all of my students do a good 4 months of hands development, and music reading. I feel like those areas are where I have to undo the most "damage" when students come to me after having taught themselvs first. Those are the biggest roadblocks to intermediate success. I tell them this in our initial meeting before they sign on. Drum set is just one of the many kinds of drumming we will get into.